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What to say or do?

GettingHitched2010GettingHitched2010 member
100 Comments
in Illinois-Chicago
So my FMIL asked my FI if we had any extra wedding invitations because she wanted to invite a "few more of her friends" to our wedding.  The RSVP date wasz July 1 and the wedding is July 24th.  He told her he didn't know (we do have 10 left over..).  What do I say or do?  Do I reject this or do we tell her okay if she pays for them (we already have a number in our head that we can afford and we are two rsvps away from it)?
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Re: What to say or do?

  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    If your FI truly does not care-----AND if you think there is no way for your FMIL to discover the truth-----I would say-----tell her you are sorry but the deadline has passed and counts have been submitted.

    This is a good way to keep the budget in line.

    My guess is that these guests are "frivolous" in the sense that they were not considered in any "round" of the planning prior to this, so how significant can they be?

    You will probably have a few "unexpected" attendees anyway----people that said "no" and then show up anyway---or those that never bothered to respond and still show up.



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  • raeynraeyn member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow. I would ask FI to tell her there are no more invites and that you are not sure you can afford any more guests as you are right at your budget. Shred the remaining invites if you like so that it isn't a lie.
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  • Love is BaldLove is Bald
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    On the spin side of this, if I was a guest receiving a wedding invitation 3 weeks before the wedding -- i'd know that I wasn't originally invited.  Why the heck would I want to come then?  I don't know, its just strange to me.

    Since FMIL asked your FI, he needs to tell her that you've already given your final guest count to the caterer and its a done deal. 

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  • ladybug7485ladybug7485 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:f44d6993-d3db-46b7-b53f-3c56bc2b6215Post:ae22170c-4f71-437c-a29e-8051665a7b1b">Re: What to say or do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>On the spin side of this, if I was a guest receiving a wedding invitation 3 weeks before the wedding -- i'd know that I wasn't originally invited.  Why the heck would I want to come then?</strong>  I don't know, its just strange to me. Since FMIL asked your FI, he needs to tell her that you've already given your final guest count to the caterer and its a done deal. 
    Posted by Love is Bald[/QUOTE]

    This.
    I also think that situations can become a little hairy when you start saying that extra people can come if you pay for them. It would be awkward to have to ask her for the money if she doesn't pay you automatically and how would you calculate the per cost guest. I know the meal price at the reception but there are also extra favors, cake, programs, etc that are add't costs with add't guests.
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