2nd Marrige - register or not?

sfreeney · February 2010

This is the 2nd marriage for myself and fiance....some are of the opinion that we shouldn't register for anything, however; I know people will want to purchase gifts for us (I am on staff at a church).

What is the "proper" thing to do?

pirategal03 · February 2010

If there's stuff you could use or upgrade to nicer stuff, then register. If you've got all you need/want don't register and don't have any showers.

IMO it's not a problem to register if it's your second marriage. But if a lot of people in your area or your circle are not OK with it, then it may be a good idea to skip it.

deepcovejackie · February 2010

It's my second marriage too. I don't think we'll really be expecting gifts. My FI and I are mid-40's and having a DW. We consider folks making the trip more than a gift to us, it's amazing that they would do that. That's what I'm thinking about saying if anyone asks.

Galaxy8227 · February 2010

I would register for some upgrades, that way if people decide to buy you gifts you won't end up with random stuff that you'll never use.

MairePoppy · February 2010

You should still register. Even though it's a second marriage for both of you, I'm sure you have family members and church friends that want to give you a gift. The registry information should only be given to those who ask.

Tatum88 · February 2010

The whole point of a registry is to help people out who are looking for gifts for you. It's just a list of suggestions for people who need it, so I see no reason why you shouldn't register for a second marriage if people will still be giving you gifts.

If you already have everything you need for your house, you could always register for a honeymoon fund or a home renovations fund or something like that (the website I'm using for my registry, myregistry.com, will let you make however many funds you need and call them whatever you want).

Or just register for upgrades of stuff you already have--whatever you want! People will be just as excited to give you gifts the second time as they were the first (and if not, they don't have to look at the registry!).

DanielleD7782 · February 2010

Are you having a bridal shower? If so then I think you should def. register. What is your gut feeling? Do you want to register, but feel like you shouldn't because of what people will think?

My FI was married before, but it was a small wedding of about 40 people. We are having a large wedding (200+) so we are going to register. Registrys are meant to help you get started on your home...we just bought a home and there is so much that we need to get.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

I would only register if people start asking you about a registry. Like, more than one person. I'd register for a few small upgrades and tell the people who ask, like any registry. Technically it is seen as tacky for a second wedding, but if your guests are asking about it, it means they wold prefer you have one.

cembc99 · February 2010

I think the question is did these people give you a gift at your first wedding and did you register then? If so, then I would say no to the registry.

Registries came about not to help people give you a gift, but so that when people bought china and flatware for people back in the day, they would match. Now they have expanded to anything you can think of because companies want to get into the wedding business and cash in and take away from the point.

I am now getting to the age where some of my friends may get remarried. And, while I would definitely want to give them another gift, I would find it odd if they registered for big ticket items again when I already bought them an expensive gift the first time around. And, I would feel the same if I were getting remarried.

The only difference I think, is if one part of the couple has never been married before.

But, just my opinion. It seems I am in the minority.

2nd Marrige - register or not?

Re: 2nd Marrige - register or not?

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