No gap when guests expect one

PharmacyBride · July 2010

This question seems very silly.. but I think my guests (especially extended family) will expect a gap and not go straight to the reception.

At first glance at the invites.. it isn't entirely clear there isn't a gap. For one, the ceremony is a bit long (full Catholic mass with a big crowd, so we have to allow time for communion). There is also more distance between the ceremony and reception than most weddings (about 25 minutes). (I HATE the distance.. but the Church holds a lot of meaning to us and there isn't a single hotel in my town. We know our crowd and we know they will drink. It was important for our reception to be near a hotel to avoid D&D).

So basically.. add 30 minutes to the ceremony time and another 30 minutes for travel.. and it looks like an hour gap.

Okay.. back to the question at hand. Please help me with wording and where it would be okay to place this comment. THANKS!

I was thinking of putting: "Please allow ample time to travel to the reception"

I was thinking okay for the extra maps at the church and okay for the website (in the directions section).. but not okay for the formal invites (even on the directions card). WDYT?

Again.. I realize this is silly.. but when talking casually about the wedding.. people are shocked about us doing pics beforehand and act as if they never considered we wouldn't have a gap.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

Can't you just put "reception immediately following"? Usually you only put the time of the reception down when there's a gap. So someone might see there's a ceremony at 3 and a reception at 5 and think they have time in between, but if it's IMMEDIATELY following, they'll know to proceed straight to the reception.

twilight.rose · July 2010

We also did all our photos beforehand and went straight to the reception, and I did exactly what PP suggested. People seemed to understand that "immediately" meant "immediately" and we had no issues. Though, in the receiving line, we did have two or three guests who asked what time the reception started, but we were able to tell them to go straight to the rec. venue...it was fine.

pooh8402 · July 2010

yep, reception immediately following. that means truck it over to the reception location. and 25 minutes isn't that long of a drive; I've had longer.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

I considered that.. but I thought that only worked if the reception was at the same location or a minute away....

It takes 25 minutes to get there if you follow the speed limit.. but around here.. most people speed (it isn't really regulated like it is in other states). It is straight up a brand new expressway and someone can easily travel in 12 minutes.. especially if they were one of the first cars out of the Church parking lot and first cars in the reception parking lot (valley parking.. so there may be a line).

Also, I am giving my hall the timeline based on how long it will take the majority of people to get there. So the doors will open at the time I give them. I get food and alcohol for my 1 hour cocktail hour (not based on consumption).. I would hate to see 15 minutes spent on the 10% of speed racers when no one is there yet.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

BTW.. I am probably obsessing over minutes in a day that will go by extremely fast.

I am just extremely detailed oriented to a fault I guess.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

Nah, put "reception immediately following" on your invite and then a separate reception card with the name and address of the venue, no time.

If guests get there early, as long as they aren't locked out of the venue, that's fine. Ask the venue if any "early birds" can come in and be offered tea, lemonade or soda. And be told, "the bar will be opening at such-and-such. Please have a seat!" Have someone at the venue help them find their seats and get settled. 15 minutes is not that long.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

You girls are so wise!!!.. thanks for taking the time to help me.. I do realize it is a bit on the silly side.

I will ask my venue what happens to the early birds.

kellyjellybelly · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gap-guests-expect-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd8f1726-b72f-4cd2-9549-974f27facd66Post:8ccbcfc6-e89d-41a5-b74c-82d60c4f5a85">Re: No gap when guests expect one</a>:
[QUOTE]I considered that.. but I thought that only worked if the reception was at the same location or a minute away.... It takes 25 minutes to get there if you follow the speed limit.. but around here.. most people speed (<strong>it isn't really regulated like it is in other states</strong>). It is straight up a brand new expressway and someone can easily travel in 12 minutes.. especially if they were one of the first cars out of the Church parking lot and first cars in the reception parking lot (valley parking.. so there may be a line). Also, I am giving my hall the timeline based on how long it will take the majority of people to get there. So the doors will open at the time I give them. I get food and alcohol for my 1 hour cocktail hour (not based on consumption).. I would hate to see 15 minutes spent on the 10% of speed racers when no one is there yet.
Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]<div>Really?

</div>

PharmacyBride · July 2010

Seriously .. I got pulled over while going 15 over on the expressway and the cop didn't mention my speed. He gave me a warning for "passing on the right"

In my driver's ed class.. my teacher instructed me to go faster.. "speed of traffic"

In the city.. they don't even post speed limits... you just go the speed you go.. but that is usually only a block or two until the next light

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

Yeah, out here you basically go as fast as the flow of traffic will let you - on the freeway that can be either 10 MPH or 75 MPH. And it's legal to go the "speed of traffic," even if it's over the speed limit. When I took driver's ed (in NY) that was SO not the case.

rkto · July 2010

I am glad I am not the only one that is that zany about details and minutes.

brookelynpaisley · July 2010

Put "reception immediately followiing at blah blah location" at the bottom of the invite and then include the reception card. It's going to take you all the same amount of time to get to the reception, so I don't think it will be a problem for guests to figure out there isn't a big gap.

pooh8402 · July 2010

pharm and mery, lucky yall. I always thought "speed of traffic" was the safer thing anyway. I've been pulled over so many times for going about 10 over, but people are passing me; I'm the slow one. they just pick someone and pull them over. ugh.

gailpete · July 2010

Reception immediately following on a separate card with the address is perfectly fine.

As a side note, in case you are planning to do a sign or note about the parking, it is valet parking, not valley parking. I'm not trying to be snarky.

squirrly · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gap-guests-expect-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd8f1726-b72f-4cd2-9549-974f27facd66Post:5c191593-41e9-4eca-ae8f-5b3ae5955052">Re: No gap when guests expect one</a>:
[QUOTE]Reception immediately following on a separate card with the address is perfectly fine. As a side note, in case you are planning to do a sign or note about the parking, it is valet parking, not <strong>valley parking</strong>. I'm not trying to be snarky.
Posted by gailpete[/QUOTE]

It's been a long day, and I was actually really confused by this in the OP's post. I concur with all the advice you've been given.

No gap when guests expect one

Re: No gap when guests expect one

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