It's so crazy to me

AlmostMrsStrong · September 2010

I find it so weird when I go on some of the general boards and other brides have never heard of things like money dances and cake pulls. What is especially disappointing is the disparaging attitudes towards traditions that are so familiar to our culture. Is it just me?

JReidSmith · September 2010

I LOVE cake pulls--can't imagine having my wedding without them!

As for the money dance, I think that varies culturally. My fiance's family is Italian, and they can't believe we're not having one, but my family is Irish, and I think they'd die of embarrassment if we did, so I can see there being more dissent about that.

AlmostMrsStrong · September 2010

I found some absolutely precious ones at Mignon Faget that I would want them to keep and wear after instead of just tossing them.

As for the money dance, I don't think I've been to a single wedding that didn't have one. I think they're really good to have at large wedding where you may not necessarily get a chance to see or talk to everyone.

whereyat · September 2010

Honestly it's just a "different culture" thing. I'm from the NE orig but grew up in NOLA and (DON'T FLAME ME I'M JUST ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION) the money dance TO ME would be embarrassing to me as a bride, and it seems not polite to me, BUT that is just my opinion and everyone can do what they want.

It's not exactly the thing itself that is the problem, but the "cultural interpretation" of it.
To (somewhat out-of-context) quote Shakespeare, "Nothing Either Good or Bad, But Thinking Makes It So."

For example...wearing white to or in a Chinese wedding = DEATH. Whereas we obviously don't have that connotation. (though in modern times, it's become more acceptable for a bride to wear a white "western" dress in Chinese weddings). In Chinese weddings, the bride usu wears a red dress as red = "lucky" (i.e., "fortunate"). Whereas a bride wearing an all-RED dress in Western culture, at one point would have been "scandalous." Know what I mean?

I think it shouldn't be surprising that "different cultures have different ways of doing things." (In fact, I think it's helpful to keep that in mind when thinking like OMG, XYZ thing *HAS* to be this way!!!" - no, it doesn't, it's just your interpretation of it). However, that doesn't excuse anyone - me, you, them, anyone - from being rude or disparaging.

Phrases like "that's so interesting, in my culture we do that differently," or if someone's rude, "I can see that in your background things are done differently, just like in *my* background, things are done this particular way." Etc. - are helpful to keep in mind.

I do think it's interesting that the Cajun/Creole culture is So different, and is basically only concentrated in Louisiana (within the US), but I think that is what makes NOLA wonderful.

AlmostMrsStrong · September 2010

Woah, calm down, no flaming here. Smile

That actually kind of irks me a lot; the brides or brides-to-be who are outraged at anything that they aren't familiar with, and then try to justify their outrage with Google. "OMG WHERE I'M FROM WE DON'T DO THAT AND THE INTERNET SAYS IT'S TACKY SO YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!!!" I couldn't imagine telling someone that their traditions are wrong.

I guess money dances don't bother me because I'm so used to them. We always tucked a dollar or two away before heading to a wedding. It's just a nice way to "buy" a private moment with the bride or groom that may not get to happen otherwise. I'm am, however, offended by brides who do a money dance as a 'gimme money' sort of thing because they read about it online and think it's a great idea to shake down their guests even further.

LeslieMPC · September 2010

dude...not everyone does the cake pull or money dance? Seriously?
I had no idea! Thats crazy to me, i cant imagine a wedding without either traditon.

Ive heard from a few brides that the money dance was when they were able to really tell everyone Thank you.

Wow...you learn something new everyday.

NOLAbrideinDC · September 2010

Some boards are harsh!! i think we have the nicest one. Must be the southern hospitality:) I love those traditions but i am opting not to have them. I just dont envision them in my wedding but i do enjoy them at other weddings. These traditions make new orleans, new orleans. We are different in EVERYTHING! LOL!

Lynxie · September 2010

haha, now I'm stuck trying to figure out where Fi heard of the money dance! He's a mid-westerner, and he was the one who told me what it was and talked me into doing it! Speaking of, it was nice to read this, as I was still a bit uncomfortable about it. He made it sound like a joke. It's nice to hear that there's an actual positive connotation.

whereyat · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_its-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:eff99f7d-c55b-4630-8b34-070e0c0e7c18Post:07054fed-9cc5-4504-b137-3e39b66aaec4">Re: It's so crazy to me</a>:
[QUOTE]Some boards are harsh!! i think we have the nicest one. Must be the southern hospitality:) I love those traditions but i am opting not to have them. I just dont envision them in my wedding but i do enjoy them at other weddings. These traditions make new orleans, new orleans. We are different in EVERYTHING! LOL!
Posted by NOLAbrideinDC[/QUOTE]

That's how I feel too! I totally was not trying to flame anyone, it's just like for me, I would feel uncomfortable but then again I feel uncomfortable easily. *shrug*

Here are places where I *think* the "money dance" is done (these are just from my own recollection so feel free to correct me): U.S. South, (some places in) U.S. Midwest, some Latin American cultures, and some Eastern cultures like I want to say Poland and Germany. However, the cake pulls, I think are uniquely a Creole/New Orleans thing. <img border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

~Sidenote: I get so annoyed when I get the "spinster" charm at cake pulls, can we change that please?? Lol. <img border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

whereyat · September 2010

(P.S. the "smileys" are not showing up....I did not literally write "undecided" HA).

Kate504 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_its-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:eff99f7d-c55b-4630-8b34-070e0c0e7c18Post:02bc4449-8d48-41fd-8454-15dcb28aaaee">Re: It's so crazy to me</a>:
[QUOTE]I LOVE cake pulls--can't imagine having my wedding without them! As for the money dance, I think that varies culturally. My fiance's family is Italian, and they can't believe we're not having one, but my family is Irish, and I think they'd die of embarrassment if we did, so I can see there being more dissent about that.
Posted by JReidSmith[/QUOTE]

This was the situation for my sister's wedding. She married an Italian guy and we are Irish. My mom was SO embarrased that she did a $$ dance.

My FI's family (not itatlian, but parents ahd one at their wedding) think i should do one.

I don't think i am doing one because I would ot be comforable.

I am def doing cake pulls

At the bead shop on magazine. they have keychain cake pulls for the grooms cake and i'm considering that.

mullin61280 · September 2010

@NOLAbrideinDC - I totally agree about this being the sweetest board! I got completely ridiculed for what I thought was a pretty benign (and totally innocent) question about a card box at the reception on another board. Thanks NOLA girls for being the sweethearts that you are!!

@whereyat - that is such a great way to approach different cultural customs! Beautifully put :-)

NOLAbrideinDC · September 2010

Dont even try the board for wedding registries! its BRUTAL!!! ha! i was scared to ask my question, so i didnt! ha ha! i have learned to stay put in my nola board! Thanks ladies!!!

MMW10 · September 2010

Ditto on the niceness!! And I'm having cake pulls, but not a money dance... as it seems is the trend, we have Irish families who don't agree with it! I bought my cake pulls with my cake, and since almost ALL our guests are from out of state, I had to email my friends, explain what it was, and ask them to be part of it. They were so excited to be part of a NOLA tradition! I didn't realize it was a NOLA thing until I left the area either--even friends in Mobile hadn't heard of it!

JReidSmith · September 2010

This is totally the nicest board! I have gotten some really rude responses on the other boards. Nola brides are clearly the best.

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