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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How to involve children?

FI and I are very close with the members of the church we attend. FI is a member there. We adore all the children of this church and would love to have them part of our wedding. There are 3 boys (ages 4 & 9) and 5 girls (ages 2-8). There are 2 other girls (14 & 15) that I plan on asking to be junior bridesmaids.
Our wedding is outdoors and we are perfectly fine with having a large bridal party.

I thought the boys might could be ushers, but would the youngest be too young?
I'm completely at a loss for the girls. My MOH had mentioned having a hoard of flower girls.

Does anyone have any ideas how I can involve these children?

ETA: The whole church is going to be invited. We want the children to be included in the WP.

ETA (again): Sorry. I had a moment. At the time of the wedding the children will be 3-16
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Re: How to involve children?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-to-involve-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:22a006f4-bc7a-4ef2-aeea-92f0bb6d3c5ePost:dcfd281f-b92b-4f49-af95-9ee61edddbca">Re: How to involve children?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Invite them to the wedding as guests. With their parents, of course.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ditto this. The youngest boys are too young to be ushers on their own without help. And the littlest girls are too young to be flower girls (the recommended age is 3 on the low end).</div><div>
    </div><div>Unless you feel you can include some and not others without hurting feelings, I would just have them as guests.

    </div>
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  • Having a child be a flower girl or ring bearer is a lot of work for parents.  Can they all afford to buy the kids new clothes?  Can they take the time off from work to get the kids to attend the rehearsal?   

    I would just honor these kids by inviting them as guests.  The parents can decide if they are able to attend.
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  • You could just have them as general wedding attendants in your party like the children who participated in the royal wedding. You won't have to depend on the youngest ones for a task then and they will still add a level of cuteness to the occasion.

    That said, definitely talk to the parents of the children first. They may or may not want their children participating (might be away that weekend, etc).

    Hope you have a great wedding!
  • Sing a song?
  • Have a "flower ceremony" instead of a candle or sand ceremony. Have them walk up in line holding a couple stems of flowers, which you and your FI arrange into a vase as your unity ceremony. The older children can help the younger children (holding hands, if needed) with this, and it involves them without requiring them to do a "job" or for their parents to purchase them specific outfits.
  • Let all of the small ones as a 'cute hoarde' sprinkle petals down the aisle or carry 'YAY!' signs?

    It avoids having to select jobs for each and allows them to all be involved in a no-pressure way, with the oldest helping the youngest.
  • We are having children help their older cousins with wedding duties, like guestbook, gifts, coordination, etc. Also, FG and RB of course. They range in age from 5-12. When my cousin got married, she wanted to include all 5 of her little half brothers, so she made them "wedding security". They wore little black suits and black sunglasses, and walked around before the ceremony making sure everything was secure. It was very cute and they loved it!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-to-involve-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:22a006f4-bc7a-4ef2-aeea-92f0bb6d3c5ePost:70f2730b-7acf-4ed9-afee-bd8c2a1a0e19">How to involve children?</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I are very close with the members of the church we attend. FI is a member there. We adore all the children of this church and would love to have them part of our wedding. There are 3 boys (ages 4 & 9) and 5 girls (ages 2-8). There are 2 other girls (14 & 15) that I plan on asking to be junior bridesmaids. Our wedding is outdoors and we are perfectly fine with having a large bridal party. I thought the boys might could be ushers, but would the youngest be too young? I'm completely at a loss for the girls. My MOH had mentioned having a hoard of flower girls. Does anyone have any ideas how I can involve these children? ETA: The whole church is going to be invited. We want the children to be included in the WP. ETA (again): Sorry. I had a moment. At the time of the wedding the children will be 3-16
    Posted by SugarFoote[/QUOTE]

    My SIL had 4 flower girls since she didn't want to offend anyone...it was a little tough for the youngest (4), but the other girls (5-7) loved the idea of walking together :)
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