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Unity Ceremony Question

drama1308drama1308
500 Comments
in Christian Weddings
Today we had out last meeting with the wedding coordinator and also got the ceremony schedule from the pastor. FI and I wanted the vows and rings to be (just about) the last thing before being announced as Mr. and Mrs. S and the recessional.

Wedding Coordinator said that we can't have the unity ceremony until AFTER we have our vows because we aren't "married" yet.

The other weddings I have been to had the unity ceremony before the vows and rings. What are your thoughts?
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Re: Unity Ceremony Question

  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had our unity ceremony after the vows and rings, but before kissing or being pronounced man and wife.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_unity-ceremony-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:fd8adc00-ccf6-44e7-b6ee-9739c9135793Post:a761af11-ab3a-4138-b503-eb26ed539552">Re: Unity Ceremony Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had our unity ceremony after the vows and rings, but before kissing or being pronounced man and wife.
    Posted by azdancer8[/QUOTE]

    <div>That.  Ours was declaration of intent, vows, rings, unity stuff (we also signed our marriage license and took our first communion as a married couple), kiss, announcement, party!</div>
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I feel like it would be weird to go from your vows to something else and then come back to kiss...I don't know. That seems bizarre. I would tell the wedding coordinator what you want and if she doesn't like it, then she can just shut up and deal with it.

    But I think I'm just stubborn like that...
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  • drama1308drama1308
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_unity-ceremony-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:fd8adc00-ccf6-44e7-b6ee-9739c9135793Post:75e5aed6-f01c-4b46-8a8d-9379b108e6bc">Re: Unity Ceremony Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like it would be weird to go from your vows to something else and then come back to kiss...I don't know. That seems bizarre. I would tell the wedding coordinator what you want and if she doesn't like it, then she can just shut up and deal with it. But I think I'm just stubborn like that...
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    Well, she came with the church (Don't get me wrong I do like her) so I think that this is probably what the pastor prefers.. even though in counseling we told him what we wanted and he seemed fine with it.
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  • Bett2012Bett2012 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I like the vows, kiss, pronounce, then the first thing you do together after being married is communion/unity ceremony.  Though, I've seen people do a footwashing ceremony instead of a unity ceremony, and that ties very nicely into vows instead of afterwards when you are married.
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  • AshNoel8AshNoel8
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did vows and rings toward the beginning, unity (God's Knot) later and then kiss and pronouncement at the end. We liked it! We did it that way because that's how our pastor told us it goes haha. I think your wedding coordinator probably said that because that's how they are generally run. You can ask if you can change the order. The worst that could happen is they say no.     :) 
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  • kellya01kellya01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did unity sand after the vows because for us, it was a physical symbol of the commitment we had just made in our vows, and for us the unity ceremony was for us the creation of an outward representation of what God was going to do in our lives since we were now married with vows spoken before God and witnesses.  Hope that makes sense.  I've seen a wedding where the unity thing was done before the vows and ring and it felt a little weird to me, personally, because it was like you're saying "WE'RE ONE NOW" but in reality, you aren't one YET.  That's my thinking on it.  If you have a strong feeling towards putting the unity ceremony in a different spot in your ceremony order, talk with your pastor about why you feel that way and see if they'll accommodate you!  
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  • drama1308drama1308
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess to us the whole ceremony is us becoming one. It's not just the vows, just the ringss, just the pronouncing, not just the license, and not just the unity. So I gues to us the order of things makes more sense.

    It just seems odd to FI and I to take a break after the vows and rings to light a candle and then kiss. (It makes it feel childish to me) We're going to talk to the pastor about this (we already did in counseling, but maybe he forgot)

    final not: I completely get why you guys put your unity ceremony where you did. (It was what made sense to you)
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