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Freaking out, encouragement needed.

bethanys86bethanys86 member
First Comment
in Plus-Sized
Hi ladies! I haven't really posted on here before but I'm starting to freak out about my weight and I could use some encouragement or motivation or something right now.

I am a size 20, and I have been big my entire life. I lost 50 lbs several years ago, dropping from a size 24. Since then, my weight has fluctuated greatly. I'll lose 20lbs, then gain it all back, work out for awhile, then go on fast food binges. I have hypothryoidism and pcos, which doesn't help things much. My wedding is in April, and I am so petrified that I wont be able to lose any weight that I have done zip to make it happen. I lost 10 lbs after he proposed in June, but have since gained all of that back.

It is really important to me to lose weight before my wedding. I want to be comfortable, able to dance the night away, and not get winded walking down the aisle in a heavy dress. Am I hopeless? I feel like just giving up, but the thought makes me want to cry. I would love to even just get down to a 16 or 18 by then. Is this possible? Have any of you lost weight for your wedding, and if so, how did you do it? Right now I just feel like a lost cause. :(
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Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed.

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    danimarie88danimarie88 member
    First Comment First Anniversary

    Is it impossible? No. Is it going to be a lot of work? Possibly. Please keep in mind that your FI loves you for who you are, no matter what weight you're at. I understand your concern though. I am a huge advocate of the Weight Watchers points plus system. I have lost 35 pounds since April 1st. I was wearing size 20 in jeans and now purchase size 14. My wedding dress is a 16 and now when I go to try it on, the corset is completely closed up and has more room to be brought in.

    You can lose weight! I suggest checking out Weight Watchers. It's cheap and you don't have to buy any special food. You can literally eat whatever you want, as long as you stay within your points. If you run out of points for the day, you can tap into another weekly allowance or just eat fruit (which is 0 points) or MOST veggies for 0 points. I dread working out. I have not worked out once since starting WW.

    Good luck!

    PS - never say you're hopeless!

    Halloween
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    heroeswearbrownheroeswearbrown member
    First Comment
    I agree with PP about remembering that your FI loves you for who you are.

    When I started the whole wedding planning process, I was convinced that I wanted to lose weight, but then while dress shopping, my mother made a comment about not ordering the dress yet because I "still wanted to lose weight, right?" right in front of the consultant. It bothered me so much that my mom would say that in public, so I decided to learn to love my body the way I am and not stress over losing weight just for the wedding. Once the stress of wedding planning is through, I may try to lose weight, but for me. Not for my mom, my fiance or my pictures.

    Don't stress about it too much. Kudos for wanting to. It's definitely a good thing, all I'm saying is, don't let it dictate being happy for your big day. You'll still be married at the end of the day if you're a size 8 or 28.
    image
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    bethanys86bethanys86 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for the encouragement. I know that he loves me no matter what my size, but I want to do this for me too. I am just so frustrated that I can't seem to stick to anything. I have done WW in the past, and was able to lose about 20lbs, but just like with everything else, I've gained it all back.

    I think that I am in a better state of mind about the whole thing. My dress is pretty, and I don't have to lose weight to fit in it or anything. I want to be healthier though. I have looked at a couple of weight loss blogs today, which is pretty motivating. I also made a distressed call to the fiance, who told me what I knew to be true - that I am loved no matter what, but that he has faith I can lose weight if I choose to. 

    Time to get my workout started I guess! :)
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    smartn2sexy08smartn2sexy08
    First Comment
    Perhaps instead of going about it as a diet, you should try a lifestyle change. Don't dive in head first and try and change everything in your life all at once, especially during such a stressful time. Maybe do one change every other week til you make all the changes you want. Try starting with drinking the right amount of water if you don't already. Thats usually a tough one for people. Then in two weeks maybe try taking a nightly walk or joining a gym or whatever physical activity you think you are likely to stick with.

    If you truely just want to get healthy, this doesn't have to be an "Oh God which diet shall I choose moment". Start making healthy choices and emplementing them into your life. I know you can do it.
    ?We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.? ~ Buddha
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    entropicbeautyentropicbeauty member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-encouragement-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:d1734dfd-f5ae-4db6-b0b3-30b6ecfff6e9Post:2289f066-48b9-410d-aeea-5015804b2343">Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Perhaps instead of going about it as a diet, you should try a lifestyle change. Don't dive in head first and try and change everything in your life all at once, especially during such a stressful time. Maybe do one change every other week til you make all the changes you want. Try starting with drinking the right amount of water if you don't already. Thats usually a tough one for people. Then in two weeks maybe try taking a nightly walk or joining a gym or whatever physical activity you think you are likely to stick with. If you truly just want to get healthy, this doesn't have to be an "Oh God which diet shall I choose moment". Start making healthy choices and implementing them into your life. I know you can do it.
    Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree with all of this - when I got engaged last September I weighed in at 260, and while I didn't quite reach my goal of 200 by the wedding date, I still managed to lose a lot of the weight and drop from a size 20 (verge of 22) to a size 16. It's a lot of hard work, and it's not just temporary...it really should be a complete lifestyle change.</div><div>
    </div><div>3 tools that have helped me out a lot through this process have been the web site myfitnesspal.com, the Getting in Shape board on here and my fitbit.</div><div>
    </div><div>We're all capable of amazing things, we just have to want it bad enough and work hard enough for it - goodluck!

    </div>
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    PJSPJSPJSPJS
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-encouragement-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:d1734dfd-f5ae-4db6-b0b3-30b6ecfff6e9Post:73006e03-b731-45be-84c8-ceb6185cbc1d">Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed. : I agree with all of this - when I got engaged last September I weighed in at 260, and while I didn't quite reach my goal of 200 by the wedding date, I still managed to lose a lot of the weight and drop from a size 20 (verge of 22) to a size 16. It's a lot of hard work, and it's not just temporary...it really should be a complete lifestyle change<strong>. 3 tools that have helped me out a lot through this process have been the web site myfitnesspal.com</strong>, the Getting in Shape board on here and my fitbit. We're all capable of amazing things, we just have to want it bad enough and work hard enough for it - goodluck!
    Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]
    I also like myfitnesspal.com.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    bethanys86bethanys86 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-encouragement-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:d1734dfd-f5ae-4db6-b0b3-30b6ecfff6e9Post:73006e03-b731-45be-84c8-ceb6185cbc1d">Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Freaking out, encouragement needed. : I agree with all of this - when I got engaged last September I weighed in at 260, and while I didn't quite reach my goal of 200 by the wedding date, I still managed to lose a lot of the weight and drop from a size 20 (verge of 22) to a size 16. It's a lot of hard work, and it's not just temporary...it really should be a complete lifestyle change. 3 tools that have helped me out a lot through this process have been the web site myfitnesspal.com, the Getting in Shape board on here and my fitbit. We're all capable of amazing things, we just have to want it bad enough and work hard enough for it - goodluck!
    Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]

    <div>The night I posted this, I did a small workout at home, and then yesterday I went to the gym to get back into the weight-lifting routine that I have been doing on and off for the past year. You are all absolutely right that it needs to be a lifestyle change, and not just a diet. Rest assured, I'm not looking for anything quick or gimmicky. I just always get stuck, whether it is a month or a couple of months after my "lifestyle change" I just regress back into my bad habbits. I don't really know if there is anything I can do to prevent it, other than just trying again and again. </div><div>
    </div><div>I just started using myfitnesspal and fitocracy (a website that lets you track workouts, it's fun), but I'll check into fitbit. Thanks again for all of the great suggestions and encouragement. It really did help turn my attitude around. :)</div>
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    NadzBNadzB member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Try this product, I can say that it works.
    No its not spam, no I dont work for the company, but I'm a size 18 and im trying it lost loads of weight already.
    Even if you dont buy anything it has some good advice on the boards about healthy eating and lifestyle too

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    RacheldisplacedRacheldisplaced
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I had a similar experience with my mother. She asked me if she was supposed to tell me I'm beautiful no matter how big I am. From there, we erupted into an argument that carried on and on, and the whole thing has left such a bitter taste in my mouth about the wedding - I don't even feel excited anymore, just down-trodden. It's not about my weight, but really about what other people (family included) feels is appropriate. I don't know why people can't just let other people be. 

    I am lucky enough to have an employer that will pay for 50% of the cost of WW online, so I have signed up for it. You have to decide to love yourself and, most importantly, let yourself be happy (even though other people won't. Which, by the way, is just their own *#@*$ issue.) This is a recognized paradigm in psychology - acceptance of what is, is followed by change. My personal feeling is - life is hard, and some extra weight here and there is nothing in the big picture. It can, and will, come off when you are ready. Find confidence and empowerment in the love you have, and start small! You got this girl.
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