Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker

Mallory835 · November 2012

One of my coworkers makes comments every day about me being the next in the office to have a baby. Even when we are in a group meeting she randomly says in front of everyone, "So when are you having a baby?" At first I just kind of laughed it off and ignored her. Then I even tried responding with, "I'll have one after you do!" (She is older and in her mid to late 50's and already has grand children) I thought she would take the hint but her nagging has gotten worse. I've even responded with, "I'm not having a baby for a while." Then she says, "we'll what is a while? Months? A Year?" I'm afraid after I get married in 2 weeks she'll really start questioning me more than she already does. What are some good comebacks I could use to get her to stop?

anna.oskar · November 2012

"The day the supreme court rules that what goes on in my uterus is any of your business."

rusngl2 · November 2012

I decided that having a husband and children was just too redundant for me

Jessie42613 · November 2012

Just shoot her a nasty look and tell her to stop. A woman with such pathetic social skills isn't going to pick up on your sarcasm; she's going to think that you're just playing around with her and will interpret it as an invitation to continue. Be direct, glare at her, and say "enough with the baby questions."

rlmarroc · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-a-comeback-for-rude-coworker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1c466340-8405-4d81-83f6-03865e5199d0Post:a2752192-08b0-4411-a44c-07a3edc1dc7e">Re: Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker</a>:
[QUOTE]A reg on here, Stage maybe, has a response along the lines of "We're going to start trying exactly one year after the last time someone asks us about it. Congrats, you've just reset the clock".
Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]

This exactly! Stage replied with that in another postand I just love it!

It really is a great response that gets your point across without being overly rude or confrontational.

I don't understand why people thinkit's acceptable to badger people about children like that. What if you were trying and had fertility issues or had a recent miscarriage?? People really need to start thinking before they open their big, stupid mouths!

PS - apologies for any typos...broken hand is not conducive to typing!

anna.oskar · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-a-comeback-for-rude-coworker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1c466340-8405-4d81-83f6-03865e5199d0Post:dc462e8b-de71-45ea-9159-adb57f1674ea">Re: Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker</a>:
[QUOTE]Just shoot her a nasty look and tell her to stop. A woman with such pathetic social skills isn't going to pick up on your sarcasm; she's going to think that you're just playing around with her and will interpret it as an invitation to continue. Be direct, glare at her, and say "enough with the baby questions."
Posted by Jessie42613[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is likely totally true. I've had to be more than blunt as of late.</div>

aloisk57 · November 2012

Haha I'd look at her, burst into tears, and cry, "We've BEEN trying but it's just not working!!"

Maybe she'd feel like a big enough ass to stop asking.

Mallory835 · November 2012

Thanks everyone for the hilarious comments! I can't wait to use them!

CALEO · November 2012

I agree with Liatris. This isn't an annoying friend or relative. This is a co-worker. Work is specifically precluded from asking questions like this. It could effect your job (ie no promotion if they think you are going to get knocked up next week).

Next time she asks, I would very clearly say "That is absolutely none of your business and inappropriate for the workplace. Please do not ask me about my reproductive status again."

Then you follow-up with an email to HR saying that so and so has been asking you this question repeatedly and in front of others and that it is offensive and uncomfortable, that you have asked her to stop (insert your direct quote) and that you ask that HR ensure that staff knows this is not an appropriate subject for office discussion.

If it keeps happening, document it each time with an email to HR (not just an oral conversation).

Good luck!

anna.oskar · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-a-comeback-for-rude-coworker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1c466340-8405-4d81-83f6-03865e5199d0Post:d96b7a27-428d-4e50-aaa9-b2c334f7b213">Re: Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha I'd look at her, burst into tears, and cry, "We've BEEN trying but it's just not working!!" Maybe she'd feel like a big enough ass to stop asking.
Posted by aloisk57[/QUOTE]

<div>This doesn't work half the time. people are idiots.</div>

achiduck · November 2012

Honestly, as fun and gratifying as it might be to say something super snarky I'd take the direct approach with her. I would talk to her one-on-one and let her know that you don't appreciate the continual baby questions and that your reproductive plans are none of her business. It sounds like this has been going on for ahwile and she's not getting the hint. If she keeps up after you talk to her I'd go to HR.

[Deleted User] · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-a-comeback-for-rude-coworker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1c466340-8405-4d81-83f6-03865e5199d0Post:c6c6ddc5-7497-4d49-887f-924923e34c8c">Re: Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, as fun and gratifying as it might be to say something super snarky I'd take the direct approach with her. I would talk to her one-on-one and let her know that you don't appreciate the continual baby questions and that your reproductive plans are none of her business. It sounds like this has been going on for ahwile and she's not getting the hint. If she keeps up after you talk to her I'd go to HR.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I agree! Keep your response back to her professional.

NYCMercedes · November 2012

"Why do you want to know?" delivered with a smile, has stopped many in their tracks. May be too subtle for her, tho.

lovelybride614 · November 2012

Personally I'd do all of the above... make a snarky comment, then tell her to stop and follow up with HR. The snarky comment may not work though because it seems like she is determined to keep it up. Give a chance to stop and if she doesn't, go to HR

emenz47 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-a-comeback-for-rude-coworker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1c466340-8405-4d81-83f6-03865e5199d0Post:a2752192-08b0-4411-a44c-07a3edc1dc7e">Re: Need a Comeback for Rude Coworker</a>:
[QUOTE]A reg on here, Stage maybe, has a response along the lines of "We're going to start trying exactly one year after the last time someone asks us about it. Congrats, you've just reset the clock".
Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]

OMG Love this! Stealing it! :)

arendiva · November 2012

"When are you planning to have a baby."

"I'm not."

But that's an easier question for me since I don't want kids. Another answer would be
"H and I have a lot of things we want to accomplish before we get saddled down with kids. We have no plans in the near future." That way you are being vague, Your aren't really answering her question but at the same time you're not validating her assumptions that you're the next mom in the office.

ETA: on the snarkier side you could "Say I'm not comfortable discussing my reproductive plans with you. " and then just walk away.

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