I am having the most difficult time explaining to my parents the necessity of a budget for the wedding. They are paying for a majority of it, with my FILs picking up the tab for our band and photographer.
I am essentially doing all of the planning on my own. I was told to do the initial research, narrow it down, and then present the final options to my parents once all of the legwork is out of the way. I am fine with that, except for one issue. I have no idea where to stay budget-wise.
I was never given a total budget or a breakdown of a budget for what my parents were ok with spending. I've tried to approach them several times, explaining that I at least need a price range to work in or else I will risk going way above or below budget. My parents response is that they don't know what things for wedding typically cost, so I should just go and look at lots of options and then they will select. We are having a large formal wedding in Northern New Jersey, so things have been kind of costly.
One example- invitations. I have looked at several vendors in my area, as well as on the internet. I presented my parents with several options, ranging from $500 - $1300 for 175 invitations and additional pieces. In each instance, they thought it was too expensive for 'paper.' In the same breath, they want something nice and elegant to reflect with the look of the venue.
Yesterday, shoes. We looked at $50 shoes to $700 shoes. I fell in love with a pair of Jimmy Choo's- not because of the name, but because of how they looked and felt on me. My mother was the one who took me into the store to look at them. Afterwards, she told me that she didn't want to spend that much money on shoes.
That is completely understandable and I understand that it is not my money, but I am frustrated because if she didn't want to spend that much on shoes, she should have never taken me to such a high end store. I keep thinking about what they say on SYTTD- never let a bride try on a dress that is out of her price range, because most likely, she will fall in love with it. Turns out, the same applies to shoes.
I am at a loss for how to approach this issue with my parents again. It inevitibly turns into an argument and it has really taken the enjoyment out of wedding planning. They have not responded to my suggestions for a budget spreadsheet, an overall budget, or anything else.
Any suggestions would be more than helpful!