After 3mths. of agony,wondering, discussing why no ring,a very recent "blowout",and me really considering it being over and leaving......SO has finally come to the realization that perhaps honesty is the best policy even though it may hurt my feelings and he at the very least owes me an explanation of his ridiculous 5yr. engagement time frame. YA THINK!! For those bees that haven't read my other posts we live together and he's had a ring for 2yr. locked in a safe and hasn't proposed and gave me excuses that were very "see through"as to why not. So.....we talked for 2hrs. yesterday and he told me the REAL REASONS,so here we go,OPINIONS
1. He said when he met me I was "emotionally stunted" and emotionally my way of thinking sometimes was immature. I was with a loser from the time I was 16yr. old (which eventually ended in divorce,I'm 34 now)and didn't know how to act in a "REAL RELATIOSHIP" He thought that if we waited 5yrs. that this "stunting" issue would resolve on it's own.
2.He feels I can be very selfish and that I feel an "entitlement" to his assets,particularly the house(he owned it when I moved in). If we were married and he died,the house would go to his sons because it's an asset that HE owned before we got married(NOT SURE IF I LIKE THAT ONE!)He wants a pre-nup to state this. However, I would recieve his pension for the rest of my life if anything were to happen to him.
Yes,he was burned in the past....Can ya tell??LOL. He felt that waiting 5yrs. the issues would subside on their own and I would be more "marriage material". The problem with Mr. SO's plan is that 5yrs. for me is ridiculously long. It took 3mths. for him to come forward and be honest and tell me those things(he just didn't want to hurt my feelings,he is EXTREMELY HONEST 99% of the time)He thinks that now that they're apparent to me, I can work on them and the engagement can move along quicker than his original 5yr. plan.
HE'S NOT OFF THE HOOK!!!I HAVE MY OWN LIST FOR HIM LOL!! I learned that sometimes these things suck to hear,but I can be selfish and I am "emotionally stunted" but I am willing to work on those things and be his wife,and in turn he has things to work on also(his relationship with my daughter). I don't want to get married tomorrow,I would at least like the commitment and to set a 2yr. date. This would also allow for us to both grow together and work on things in a committed relationship.He says now, that these flaws are not big enough to not get engaged and he felt a 100times better finally expressing them and I feel like we made alot of progress. Proposal soon????????
"I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
