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Advice sought.

irishrose54irishrose54 member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Not Engaged Yet
Hey Ladies! Your thoughts on the following story would be much appreciated!!

My best friend and neighbor (well, I since moved but we grew up as neighbors for 20 years so I still call her "my neighbor") is getting married. I am not her maid of honor...which hurt a ittle but I am over that. However, her MOH has been blatantly taking my "ideas" for her and claiming them as her own! 

I emailed all the bridesmaids a few wks ago and wrote about how I wanted to create a scapbook (because the bride LOVES them) with 5 or so pages dedicated to each of our friendships (pics, quotes etc,). She proceeds to email us all back saying "I have it covered but if you ladies want to add a note that would be great!"
I bit my tounge even though this REALLY ticked me off!

Anyway, I am so hurt over this and I have NO drive to make this scrap book anymore. The bride is someone I see as a sister and I really know NOTHING about her friendship with the MOH. I truly feel left out of a huge aspect of the bride's life. This event is one I used to gush about with her growing up.
Thoughts?? I know you ladies will be honest. Thanks. 
Wedding Countdown Ticker "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden where the flowers are dead." - Oscar Wilde
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Re: Advice sought.

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think you need to stand up and "Hey, this was my idea and I'd really like to take the lead on this project." Maybe she thinks that because she is MOH she is supposed to be in charge of everything so you might just need to be more vocal in wanting to be a part of things. Hopefully she (the MOH) will see that and start being more inclusive.


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  • LilTexasGalLilTexasGal
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    This is going to be one of those situations where I suggest not sharing anything else with her. You sent the e-mail out to all of the BMs right, not just her? They should all know that this was your original idea, so the issue of them thinking she is the idea master isn't an issue. Personally, I would go ahead with the whole thing. Like Beth suggested, talk to the MoH first, and explain yourself. It could be that she just thinks she has to be the "one" to take charge and lead things, and would be very understanding.
     
    If not, I would go ahead with the scrapbook. Invite the BMs over, have some snacks and make a scrapbooking party out of it. Follow through with your idea, and let each BM make their own 5 pages to contribute. No matter how hard the MoH tries, she won't be able to create the personal touches each girl can add. After it is created, ask the MoH for her 5 pages, and if she doesn't contribute, present the scrapbook to the bride. Even if the MoH gives her a scrapbook too, it just won't be the same - and if she just does a scrapbook dedicated to herself and the bride... well, that is a little self-centered.... a scrapbook about all her friendships is about her and the friends she has made. I would also let the Bride know how much you knows she loves scrapbooks, and perhaps even leave a few pages blank for her to add pictures of all of you together from the wedding. You'll be able to think of better scrapbooking ideas, because this was your idea in the first place. Don't let her stop you from doing something you were excited about!

    This made me wonder, and I couldn't really tell from your post (though you may have mentioned it in an earlier post), are you one of the BMs? If not, it could been taken that you are just an outsider trying to intrude (not that I think you are!), so it could explain the MoH reaction.
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  • ChelseaclayyChelseaclayy member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    I understand why you might be frustrated about her taking your ideas. I would just go ahead with the scrapbook, let everyone be involved by contributing their own pages, ect. 

    Maybe you can do something special for the bride thats only from you? Something sentimental that is special between the two of you.
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  • irishrose54irishrose54 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Hey ladies! Thank you!!!!

    Texas - Yes I am am BM> I love your idea about inviting the girls over. Hopefully I can make that happen over the summer. It seems so sweet.

    I do see how I should be more voal...and to the scrapbook regardless. I think I may just go ahead with it! I think I am just going to censor what I say to the MOH. I really don't trust or know her and the impressions I have so far are not positive. I have my guard up about it. 

    I am glad to see that I am not over reacting.

    Thank you!!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden where the flowers are dead." - Oscar Wilde
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