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A Gay Wedding

KalithiaKalithia member
10 Comments
in North Carolina
Hello all,

I am looking for a  wedding planner to help me get my ideas together but didn't know who is or is not gay friendly.  I was told to post to the NC board.  I am looking to have a wedding ceremony/ reception here in Durham, NC but before going up borth for the legal stuff.  I will only have about 50 guests but if I can help less!  I need everything, venue, flowers, cake, photography andw ho knows what else.  I do the have the dress and a potential officiant.  I'm looking to have this event in October.  Wedding colors are white and purple, I would like the flowers to be orchids and I'm trying to do some DIY like VistaPrint will do the inviations and myself and some friends are making some of the food, alcohol will be at a limit of probably 10 bottles or less since there will be a lot of kids.  Not sure of what else I may need but overall would love to have a great party.  Any helpful advice would be appreciated.


I'm not into the homophobia drama but understand 100% how you mayfeel.  I've always believe that if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all.
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Re: A Gay Wedding

  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hey!
    Welcome to the NC board. I think you'll find these ladies very kind and helpful so please feel free to ask any questions you may have during your planning process and we'll do our best to help :)

    I would probably surf some of the previous / older posts to get ideas on photography, venues/ food. . etc and then go from there (if you're curious about something that wasn't mentioned before) 

    Aside from that. . introduce yourself :) Whats your name (I didn't want to assum that your SN is your real name / nickname) what do you do, how did you meet your fiance etc. . .

    Happy Planning!
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  • KalithiaKalithia member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is very good to know!  And yes, my SN name is my real name.  I didn't realize I could have had something different in the beginning.  I'm originally from Atlanta, GA but have been in NC ever since 2002.  I'm currently in the military but looking to make a changeof jobs so hoping for a big ecomony leap.  My fiance is also in the military so we met in Raleigh.  We have been together every since 2009.  She first proposed to me in 2006 and I thought she was a little crazy until she did it again a year later so I have 2 engagement rings.
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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hi and welcome!

    Dito Beka (NCSUPsych) on surfing the older posts to get info, if you can't find something specific we'll do our best to help.

    Are you still in the Raleigh area?

    What's your opinion on Chinese food?

    Margaritas or Daiquiris?

    (these are very important questions)
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  • jmp0930jmp0930
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Hi there and welcome!! Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! Vistaprint is your friend!! I have and will be using them for a lot of my stationary materials (menus, programs, signs, etc.) I used a great vendor on etsy called inkedpapers for my invites. She has beautiful designs for a great price! You can also come up with your own design. Its better to know your budget range in order to help on reception venues. I would recommend Maggianos at Southpoint. They have a large private room that is big enough for dinner and dancing, plus you have your food right there! There are several good vendors in the area and if you look at previous posts you will see that there are a ton of recommendations. Good luck planning!

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  • jennieweaver1jennieweaver1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    HI! Congrats and welcome! I'm not all that familiar with the Raleigh/Durham area, but the girls on here are super helpful! And yes, Vistaprint is the best!
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  • TinyTRex321TinyTRex321 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Welcome!

    I am in Durham and would be happy to share my experience with my vendors so far (although I'll be able to give much better info after my wedding at the end of May). I have heard good things at Cafe Luna in Raleigh, NC. I considered it but never went to visit because I wanted a place to have the ceremony and reception, and the ceremony space wouldn't work well for 100 guest. I am not using a wedding planner so I don't have any recommendations there. My venue (Treyburn Country Club) has a coordinator that is taking care of coordinating with all our vendors and directing on the day of. You might want to pick a venue and then see if you need a planner after finding out what they offer.
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  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    welcome to the board!  I live in Durham, but didn't have my wedding here, so I will try to help as best as I can.

    I did a lot of DIY stuff for my wedding since we were on a tight budget.  I designed all of my invites and cards on vistiaprints.  So I highly recommend them.

    Depending on what you are looking for in terms of orchids, I recommend Hawaiian Flower company (http://www.hawaiiflowerlei.com/shop.aspx). We had a hawaiian themed wedding. So white and purple orchids were used a lot.  We ordered 2 bags of loose orchids which we put in glass vases with floating candles as our centerpieces.  I also ordered a bouquet for me and leis for the bridal party.  They shipped everything overnight from Hawaii 2 days before the wedding. Everything looked fantastic! And it was fairly inexpensive (I think $300 for everything).

    We put together our own bar for the wedding. We bought different types of can sodas and bottles of water on sale.  we also got 2 cases of wine and 2 kegs (we had a lot of college friends :) ).  For glasses, we were to BJ's wholesale and bought different chinet glasses with coupons.  I think all together, we spent $300 for all the drinks.  If you talk to someone at a place like total wine, they might be able to give you a deal on 2 cases of wine (12 bottles).

    For photography, I recommend Scott Muthersbaugh.  He was our photographer and did an incredible job.  JJ Horton and Story Photographers are also fantastic!
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  • KalithiaKalithia member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I love all you guys.  Such great advice.  I'm so excited now to be planning.  I came to the realization that my guest list including kids will be way over 50!  I do have a concern and I'm not sure how to address it.  being that is a lesbian wedding should I allow kids in ceremony?  I want them to have open free decision as to there sexual orientation and I don't want anything blamed on us.  I don't want to confuse anyone's kids.  This I can be understanding about.  Now the concern is what do I do with the kids?

    Other than that issue, I have found my venue which allows me to rent the whole inn so I get all the rooms in addition to the space for the ceremony, reception and an after party.  The price is $3000 but we are going to ask out of area guest who say at the hotel for $75 for the rooms.  Each room rents for over $160 a night so I think it would be a great deal for them.

    Now all I have to do is find a caterer, the event planner for the hotel can be the wedding corrdinator on the day of the wedding for a fee (debating 450), florist, cake, photographer, DJ and all the other little details.  the invitations are a go thru vista print.  We can't bring in alcohol because the place has an liquor license so we have to use their alcohol.  I will be using alliegator8 florist idea!

    Thank you guys so much.  I appreciate all the help and advice.
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  • KalithiaKalithia member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry...

    To pirategal03

    Are you still in the Raleigh area?  We live in the Durham area but will probably be getting a cake from Raleigh, Cary or Chapel Hill.  I have appointments later this and next week.

    What's your opinion on Chinese food?  I don't too much care for Chinese food so it would not be something I would eat but I know Courtney does.

    Margaritas or Daiquiris? I'm open to all alcoholic drinks!

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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should worry about the possibility of "confusing" anyone else's children.  If you choose to invite children, your guests with kids will be able to decide for themselves what they want to tell their kids and if they want to bring their kids.  If there are other reasons you don't want to invite kids (and budget allowances is a perfectly good reason) then set a firm line (like no kids under 18, no kids further removed than sibling's kids or something like that) and stick to it. 

    I would be hesitant to book somewhere that's out of your budget and expect any sort of payment from your guests, even if it is for hotel rooms.  You don't have to provide hotel rooms for them at all.  In your mind it's a "great deal for them" but it may not be what they had in mind or where they would have chosen for themselves. Will the Inn let you book for the ceremony/reception without booking the whole place?  Then if your guests decide to stay there, they have the option, but it's not on you to pay for it.
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  • kelsey+brandonkelsey+brandon
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't have any suggestions other than what everyone else has said, but I just wanted to tell you congratulations on your engagement! Who proposed to who? How did y'all do it? I'm all about some details! :) Also, you can go to the sticky at the top of the main NC page and tell us a little more about yourself in general! 

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  • andrea01012009andrea01012009 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    personally i hate children at weddings.  nothing against the children...it's the stupid parent's that don't know how to control them from running around on the dance floor during your first dance.

    i'd also be embarrased if you were kissing and some small innocent kid said something out loud like gee mom there's two women kissing.
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  • ChickenOnSundayChickenOnSunday member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I love children at weddings. I had a ton of children at mine. I will say, we didn't invite everyone's kids. We made our decisions about our guests children based on the fact if the children knew us. We wanted children we were close to and had watched grown up. You could follow the same invite process for your wedding. I wouldn't worry about confusing the kids.  I agree with PP the parents will decide if they want to bring their children to your wedding. Also, just as a note, this is the situation with all weddings. Some parents enjoy bringing their children. Other parents like to have a night off and party/socialize.

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  • elcobbelcobb
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just wanted to throw in that I am almost 100% positive that Story Photographers is gay-friendly... I think they did a photo shoot a while back for a couple, but I am having trouble finding it in the archives of their blog!  They do have reasonable prices though, definitely look them up :)


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  • KalithiaKalithia member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have decided that I won't worry about the children issue.  The parents know about us (since they are being invited) so I will leave that decision to the parents.

    I can book the ceremony/reception areas without booking the whole hotel.  We may just do that because I don't know if I want to pay $3,275 for a venue that doesn't include the food!

    I'm looking into Stroy Photography now!

    Thanks for the advice guys.  And I'll be sure to the the details of our meeting to you guys!
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  • EllfayEllfay
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Congratulations!!! How exciting! I can recommend another gay-friendly photographer in the Durham area. My best friend used her and their photos were great and we just booked her for our wedding. She's so sweet and her pricing is ridiculously reasonable for this area - http://bridgetmcenaney.com or http://bridgetmcenaney.wordpress.com .

    I can also recommend some florists, seamstresses, etc. I spent about a year being maid of honor (read wedding planner/slave) for my best friend so I have the area pretty down. Let us know how everything works out! 
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