Ring Bear-ess?

khines18 · May 2011

My fiance has two young nieces that we'd both like to include in the wedding. I also have a young cousin whom I am very close with who will be a party of our WP. I know I don't have to have a ring bearer and I can have more than one flower girl, but I'd like to have a different duty for at least one of the girls. His older niece (the oldest of the three) will be 8 at the time of the wedding. I was thinking about giving her the duties of an RB. Is there a formal title for that? Has this been done?

I said "YES!" 5.16.11

jferlenda · May 2011

How about junior bridesmaid? She can wear a slightly more mature-looking dress w/o all the frills and stand next to the "big girls."

mbcdefg · May 2011

"Ring bearer" is a gender-neutral term, so it'd work for a boy or a girl. It just means someone who is bearing the rings. Yes, girls have been ring bearers before, Google it.

Or just list them all as Wedding Party or Attendants/Child Attendants in the program. If there's no program, there's no real need for a title ... just ask them to be in the wedding party.

"Ring bearess" makes me think of "ring bare_ass," so personally I wouldn't call her that.

khines18 · May 2011

Those are both good points. I've thought about the junior bridesmaid, but I feel that she would be more excited to be with the younger girls; one is her younger sister. She'd probably want to wear a dress the same or similar to their's. Ring Maiden would work. Maiden is age appropriate?

We plan on a program.

carasad · May 2011

I may be doing this with my nieces as well. It is certainly not against any rules. If you want to make it clear, the program is a good place to make mention of her special job title.

trix1223 · May 2011

As malphabet said, a ring bearer is a gender neutral term. To try to turn it into a gender specific term by adding -ess or -ette just makes it sound silly, iMO.

Further, child ring bearers rarely carry the real rings. They carry decorative rings, and the real ones are securely in the grasp of a responsible adult: the BM and MOH, or the officiant.

Oh, and yes. Having female RBs is done more often than one would think.

GL

mbcdefg · May 2011

If you want a personal opinion, I think "Ring Maiden" sounds silly.

You're overthinking this in terms of what her title should be. It's not like you're knighting someone. Talk to her and ask her what she wants to be called, if you want.

EmilyW416 · May 2011

My two nieces will be 10 and 8 when we get married and there Jr Bridesmaids. They are super excited to be in the wedding. Kids are just happy to be a part of your day.

AlyinWonderland23 · May 2011

I may end up choosing a younger girl as my RB as well. My mother told me she had a little girl as hers, so I think it's totally fine :] There are no longer any younger children in my family [well, extended wise there is, but that's another story], but we do have close family friends who have girls the appropriate age. I kind of have no choice , but to choose a girl! :]

Avrilmai · May 2011

I'm sort of in the same boat. I have 2 nieces. One who is 4 and will be the flower girl and the other is 8, nearly 9 by the wedding, I'm thinking of putting her in a black dress with a white sash and calling her the ring barer. My bridesmaids will be in black dresses (no sashes) and I plan to have the flower girl in a white dress with a black sash. I figured the black dress will make her feel like "a big girl," while being the ring bearer will allow her to walk down the aisle with her sister.

trix1223 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ring-bear-ess-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:43113aab-8cc1-4a17-ab47-48b0d5dceae3Post:ca39f9d2-6825-473d-90be-b2dc2611a053">Re: Ring Bear-ess?</a>:
[QUOTE]I may end up choosing a younger girl as my RB as well. My mother told me she had a little girl as hers, so I think it's totally fine :] There are no longer any younger children in my family [well, extended wise there is, but that's another story], but we do have close family friends who have girls the appropriate age. <strong>I kind of have no choice , but to choose a girl! :]</strong>
Posted by AlyinWonderland23[/QUOTE]

You do have a choice. You don't have to have a ring bearer. You'll be just as married without child attendants as you will with child attendants. GL

BMDunlap01 · May 2011

I have a 10 year old niece that I'm having as a junior bridesmaid and a 4 year old niece as the ring bearer. Our daughter will be 13 months old and she'll be the flower girl.

I say go for it!

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