I'm getting married in July in the evening. We decided early on we did not want chldren there. A cousin started telling me a few months ago she was bringing her daughter, which I kindly told her there would only be adults there. But since she's traveling in for a few days, we could arrange for a sitter at the hotel, if she'd like. She agreed to that. A couple other family members on my FI's side asked if there would be kids and were understanding when I told them no. Our invitations went out Monday and I just received a message from my uncle that his son and wife were bringing their kids and he was concerned about what the invitation stated. He went on about the memories they will have being part of the wedding. Keep in mind I don't know the children. I also feel like my memories of my wedding should be considered. Don't mean to sound like a bridezilla, but no one should assume it's okay. Our save-the-dates never included the names of chlldren I probably should also mention, this uncle is our officiant.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to handle this? I'm stressing!
Re: Adults only on invitations-(Advice please)
You can do what you did with your cousin where you are hiring a sitter for the night for her child, offer that to your uncle.
We have one couple who may not come because we are not inviting kids.
Planning Bio UPDATED with For Sale!
Do realize that some guests may not come because of this, but it's their loss.
Mrs. Blog | Ms. Bio


I also received an RSVP from a cousin, who added their child's name on the RSVP card, and added, "Mary won't require any meal".
Seriously!
As for what you should do, call the uncle back (or the son... which would be your cousin) and say "I'm sorry that there was a misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for Cousin X and Wife X. We just did not have the budget or space to include everyone we'd like to have there with us, so unfortunately there will be no room for the kids. We hope ou can still make it!"
Our reception will be formal and we have planned what we hope will be a very enjoyable adult-only event. We realize some may need to make special arrangements because of this and we appreciate your understanding.
There were a few people that didn't come because they were pissed we didn't invite children- but they were also the people that I felt cared more about showing off their kid then being there for our wedding. I think more people that had kids appreciated the fact that they were able to have a fun evening alone.
I think you should stand your ground- don't let them bully you into changing your mind. I would just say flat out "I'm sorry- we made the decision for the reception to be adults only" and leave it at that. You don't owe anyone an explaination. Also- let your uncle know that you have told everyone else the same thing so it's not like they are being singled out.
Yes, I have since let him know by responding to his email. Haven't heard back...
I know it may be too late but on my invitations, I specified the "Mr & Mrs." for adults only and if I wanted the children to come, I would include "and family". Also, some people may call it rude but we had to keep out guest list to a minimum so on the reponse card, I wrote the number of attendence on the card myself, i.e 2 for a couple or 1 for a single. It just made it easier for calls down the road. Hope this helps!
Not that it can be undone now, but it is considered extremely rude to put "adults-only" or anything of that nature on the invitations. Invitations should be addressed to the people you are inviting and to them only, and no other mention of who isn't invited (adults only meaning "no children") should be made.
But as I said earlier, stand your ground and call them: "I'm sorry that there was a misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for Cousin X and Wife X. We just did not have the budget or space to include everyone we'd like to have there with us, so unfortunately there will be no room for the kids. We hope you can still make it!"
And if they say they can't make it without the kids being invited? "I'm sorry to hear that. You'll be missed!"