2 does not mean 3!!!

musictchr25 · August 2012

On our RSVP cards, we added the line that says: We have reserved ___ seats for you. Underneath that, we have included lines for all guest names, so we know who is coming and can put the names on the seating cards.

We have decided that no children are invited to the wedding, so, we wrote in the number of adults on all the cards, and sent them off.

One of FI's uncles sent back their RSVP card, and have added their 3 year old's name onto the RSVP card as attending.

What should we do? Should we ask them about this? Or should we just ignore? How are the other adults invited to the wedding going to feel - like my cousin, who has two boys that I love, but we decided not to invite children. Is she going to be mad if we don't do anything about this?

Ugh. Why do people think this is ok?

mpjf1001 · August 2012

If you think it will cause drama among other family members I would have FI call his uncle and explain its an adult only reception and you apologize but cant accomodate his 3 year old.

CFM102012 · August 2012

Have your FI call his uncle and apologize for the misunderstanding but the invitation was only meant for those to whom it was addressed. Let them know you understand if this means Uncle and Aunt (I presume) won't be able to attend and that you'll miss them if that is the case.

TheSlowskys · August 2012

How did you address the invite? If it was addressed to smith family you are out of luck. If it was mr and Mrs smith FI needs to call them and say sorry the invite was just for aunt and uncle and son wasn't included.

minionlover · August 2012

Don't ignore it. FI needs to call his uncle and explain that its an adults only reception.

musictchr25 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_2-does-not-mean-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8153043b-d743-40ca-b490-5e4f1155c546Post:d5a513db-e844-43a2-8b23-f978b2d87b9b">Re:2 does not mean 3!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]How did you address the invite? If it was addressed to smith family you are out of luck. If it was mr and Mrs smith FI needs to call them and say sorry the invite was just for aunt and uncle and son wasn't included.
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Addressed to Uncle & Aunt. For the ones where the adult children were invited, we wrote The _____ Family.</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

cbear215 · August 2012

Call them up and apologize for the misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for Aunt Sue and Uncle Bobby. You hope they understand and you are looking forward to seeing them at the wedding. If they tell you they can't come without little Bobby Jr. tell them you're very sorry, but you just can't accommodate the extra people so you'll miss them but look forward to seeing them at the next family get together.

I'm quoting someone else from another thread--but this was great advice!!

ericaandtom2012 · August 2012

Definitely have FI call them and use the above lines. Don't give them a reason for not being able to accommodate the extra guests - people will always try to find a way around it so that their desired non-guest can attend.

PJSPJS · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_2-does-not-mean-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8153043b-d743-40ca-b490-5e4f1155c546Post:491d05be-e14d-42c2-b4e1-f71fed23b814">Re: 2 does not mean 3!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Have your FI call his uncle and apologize for the misunderstanding but the invitation was only meant for those to whom it was addressed. Let them know you understand if this means Uncle and Aunt (I presume) won't be able to attend and that you'll miss them if that is the case.
Posted by CFM102012[/QUOTE]
Agreed.

LadyElite · August 2012

To me this is not as big of a deal as I thought it would be but that's because of the child's age. I've already gotten calls about my FI's friends children but luckily, they're all 3 and under and so far only 1 of them wants to bring their son. The only reason we're having an adult only reception, as I'm sure many of you have the same reason, is because we can't afford kids to have their own seat.

I would call and explain to them that their son can come but he'd have to sit on one of their laps. Some ladies reading this may also not want kids because of the possible interruptions. That's on the parent's... have your friends give them dirty looks if their son acts up! LOL! But seriously, if the child were older and needed their own seat, then that would be a bigger issue. This is not.

ivedonethisb4 · August 2012

Well I don't want kids but we did invite those of family to avoid cousin a not coming because they can't bring the kids. Other than that we only invited a few non family kids...people my FMIL said had to be invited kids included. I really don't want kids at the reception as there will be alcolhol and I don't feel its a place for kids with that going on.

CFM102012 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_2-does-not-mean-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8153043b-d743-40ca-b490-5e4f1155c546Post:3441fa38-4002-4b99-9511-046962acdf6a">Re: 2 does not mean 3!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]To me this is not as big of a deal as I thought it would be but that's because of the child's age. I've already gotten calls about my FI's friends children but luckily, they're all 3 and under and so far only 1 of them wants to bring their son. The only reason we're having an adult only reception, as I'm sure many of you have the same reason, is because we can't afford kids to have their own seat. <strong> I would call and explain to them that their son can come but he'd have to sit on one of their laps.</strong> Some ladies reading this may also not want kids because of the possible interruptions. That's on the parent's... have your friends give them dirty looks if their son acts up! LOL! But seriously, if the child were older and needed their own seat, then that would be a bigger issue. This is not.
Posted by LadyElite[/QUOTE]

<div>How is the parent or the child supposed to eat with the kid sitting on the parent's lap? An infant possibly, but not a three year old. That child (if invited/allowed) should get their own seat/meal. Some situations are okay for kids to sit on the parent's lap and others are not. Weddings are one of the latter. Just stick to your guns and let them know that the invitation was only intended for those to whom it was addressed. If you allow one un-invited child to come you'll have to allow the others.</div>

LadyElite · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_2-does-not-mean-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8153043b-d743-40ca-b490-5e4f1155c546Post:0b312d9a-4843-447b-bace-b8137bb7517b">Re: 2 does not mean 3!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 2 does not mean 3!!! : How is the parent or the child supposed to eat with the kid sitting on the parent's lap? An infant possibly, but not a three year old. That child (if invited/allowed) should get their own seat/meal. Some situations are okay for kids to sit on the parent's lap and others are not. Weddings are one of the latter. Just stick to your guns and let them know that the invitation was only intended for those to whom it was addressed. If you allow one un-invited child to come you'll have to allow the others.
Posted by CFM102012[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>That child is about a year old...if that, so out of the mother, the father & the grandmother--all of whom are invited <em>and</em> the grandmother has moved in to take care of her grandchild--I'm sure they'll figure it out. They do have the choice to "regretfully decline". Just got yet another call about yet another baby (she's 1 also) and I've given the greenlight to that too.</div><div>
</div><div>This is so not the big deal that people make it out to be. I can't be stressed out over something so trivial. They're babies; I'd have a problem if they were bigger kids. </div>

CFM102012 · August 2012

oh, sorry. I missed that you were talking about a child you're dealing with. Reading fail. Yes, a one year old could probably just be passed around.

2 does not mean 3!!!

Re: 2 does not mean 3!!!

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