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Long time lurker, first time poster

flochan07flochan07
First Comment
in New Jersey
Hi all,

I've been snooping around the knot forum for ages to get an idea of wedding stuffs so I'm somewhat prepared for when I get engaged. The fiance popped the question last Saturday so let the wedding planning begin!!

I promised my mom that I would try and include my grandfather in my wedding. Only problem is, he's dying of cancer. How soon do you think I can plan my wedding and not make it like it's thrown together at the last minute? And at what point do I say it's not possible? My mom understands that I'll do my best but I'm not going to stress myself or break the bank account if my grandfather has a short time left (at which point I'll throw a family dinner just to make him feel like he was part of something).

Thanks for your input! Smile
Wedding Countdown Ticker My Planning Bio! http://inthecraftroomofthefuturemrsfu.weebly.com/
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Re: Long time lurker, first time poster

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    Heather822Heather822
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome & congrats!!!!!

    My heart goes out to you.... my father also has stage IV cancer.
    We got engaged this past March, and it was very important to me that we get married sooner rather than later, so my dad would not only be ALIVE, but still at a point where he FELT relatively good (I am sure you know cancer treatment takes a lot out of you.)
    So we got married this past August. Our engagement was a total of 5 months and 5 days. We had noooo problems putting it all together. It all depends on if there are any vendors you have your heart absolutely set on. But if you can be flexible, you should be fine!
    The decision to base your wedding date on something like our situation is a very personal one... and you have to remember there are no guarantees. You could plan your wedding for next month, and god forbid ANY family member could die from a heart attack in that time.... so my advice to you would be to weigh al your other circumstances as well when planning your time table. And find OTHER ways to include your grandpa in addition to hoping he will be in attendance... have him come for a sneak peek of some venues with you, have him tell you stories from planning his own wedding, etc. Your idea for a family dinner is great... make it an Engagement Party!
    All the best to you & your family during this time! =)
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    kasabbykasabby
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Congrats on your engagement!

    Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Having lost loved ones to cancer, I understand. I think that you could probably put together your wedding in 5-6 months but it is really going to depend on what you want. You may be able to find some great deals out there since Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, are considered off seasons. 

    Do you have an idea of what kind of wedding you want?
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    kwilkinson14kwilkinson14
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats on your engagement and welcome to the board! I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. You can definitely plan a wedding in less than 6 months. I don't know how bad the prognosis is for your grandfather but have you thought about doing a smaller wedding with just immediate family and then having a larger reception further away. Just a thought.
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    jrgoogrljrgoogrl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats and welcome!

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I agree with PPer's. I think you could definitely plan a wedding in about six months or even doing a big family dinner so that your grandfather feels part of it to would work.

    Good luck with the planning! We're here to help!
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    raangoliraangoli
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats and welcome!

    I am sorry to hear about your grandfather, I can't imagine how difficult that must be for your family.

    I agree with all the suggestions that the previous posters gave, so I won't reiterate. But I will say that you can certainly plan a wedding within 6 months. While my FI and I got engaged in March we didn't start planning until May and we're getting married in a little over 3 weeks.

    I would suggest making a list of the things that mean the most to you is a good place to start when thinking about what you want your wedding to be and then go from there.

    Edited to Add:
    If you definitely want to get married within the next 6 months I would suggest looking for a dress ASAP.
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    flochan07flochan07
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey guys,

    Thanks for the reassurance that it can be done!  I'm looking for an outdoor garden ceremony site with a Chinese Banquet at a restaurant for the reception. We've already identified several potential sites and started contacting them. I think that takes the first priority. Then the dresses/tux/flowers will be next because god knows how long it will take. Only down side is I have less time to slim down and tone up! Laughing
    Wedding Countdown Ticker My Planning Bio! http://inthecraftroomofthefuturemrsfu.weebly.com/
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Sorry about your grandpa.

    It can definitely be done. You just have to make fast decisions, prioritize, and do away with anything that you don't absolutely want or need.

    I agree, the venue is the first priority. Someone here a while back had a reception at The Views at Mt. Fuji in NY (just over the NJ border) and said it was nice.

    Tuxes only need a month or two - or just ask all the guys to wear a black suit they already own, to save time and money. Bridesmaids can wear department store dresses that you can buy right off the rack. My BMs wore cocktail dresses from AnnTaylor.com and they were delivered within a week of ordering.

    For your own gown, there are resources where you can get one fast. You can buy one off eBay, Craigslist or preownedweddingdresses.com - some are gently used, some are new and girls are selling them because of canceled weddings or because they found a second one they liked better. You can also try consignment shops. Or, if a salon has a sample in your size, offer to buy that one (might just need a cleaning and some repair). You can buy pretty white dresses from JCrew.com or Nordstrom.com, too. Or order a nice bridesmaid's dress in white (a lot of them nowadays are fancy enough to pass for a bridal gown) and put a rush order on it if need be.
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