Vow renewal invite wording

abysmom25 · February 2013

Hi! My husband and I are renewing our vows on December 14th of this year, and I'm a little confused on how I should word the invitations when I'm ready to do them. We're paying for the "wedding" ourselves (will be a traditional ceremony and reception, just like a wedding because we had a quickie ceremony), but I haven't changed my name yet. I go by my married name, but I'm not legally Mrs. Bolves. How should I word my invites? Thanks!

NYCMercedes · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:73872110-a777-45b1-a555-ceb3bcf16c3c">Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! My husband and I are renewing our vows on December 14th of this year, and I'm a little confused on how I should word the invitations when I'm ready to do them. We're paying for the "wedding" ourselves (will be a traditional ceremony and reception, just like a wedding because we had a quickie ceremony), but I haven't changed my name yet. I go by my married name, but I'm not legally Mrs. Bolves. How should I word my invites? Thanks!
Posted by abysmom25[/QUOTE]

I don't understand the situation. You are married, you go by your married name, but you are not legally Mrs. Bolves. Who are you, then? What was the quickie ceremony?

abysmom25 · February 2013

I'm legally married, but I never changed my name to my husband's last name. So I still legally have my maiden name, but I'm married and go by my married name. My given name is Jessica S., but I go by Jessica Bolves because I'm married, even though I never legally changed it to Bolves through the Social Security office and DMV and everything else.

beardownbchs · February 2013

Vow renewals are really only appropriate for milestone anniversaries - like 10 or 25 years. And you do not need to have a vow renewal to change your name.

CMGr will come and tell you the correct wording, but I believe it's something like:

"Mr. and Mrs. Alreadmarried

request the pleasure of your company as they renew their vows

at X place

on Y date"

CMGr will also know the correct terms for addressing your names since you're already married but didn't change your name.

abysmom25 · February 2013

I will plan my day however I want to. I did not ask for advice about how to plan my day, just on how to word my invites. I don't care if it's "inappropriate", my family loves the idea, I will wear a white dress (off-white), and I'll have a big ceremony and reception. It's what my husband and I want. Y'all won't be there, so it shouldn't matter what I do.

beardownbchs · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:3496a894-9ef9-4072-8875-b27cc9691002">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]I will plan my day however I want to. I did not ask for advice about how to plan my day, just on how to word my invites. I don't care if it's "inappropriate", my family loves the idea, I will wear a white dress (off-white), and I'll have a big ceremony and reception. It's what my husband and I want. Y'all won't be there, so it shouldn't matter what I do.
Posted by abysmom25[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Oh, well that changes everything. In this case, you should word your invites like this:</div><div>
</div><div>Mrs. Pretty Princess is an entitled brat and hasn't commanded enough of your attention</div><div>Please join her as she pretends to be a bride and parades around as such </div><div>At X location </div><div>on Y date</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Also, make sure to include your registry information on your invites. This is especially important for fake weddings to ensure people know you're only doing it for their money/gifts. </div>

NYCMercedes · February 2013

You've been asking this same question for over a year. The answers are the same. By the way, if the marriage certificate signed and witnessed last year was submitted to your state or county, or whatever agency issued it, then you are legally married. Social security and the DMV are not in the business of licensing marriages. http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_already-marriedinvitation-wording

AddieCake · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:67ae167d-7583-4e4a-98db-4b348ac1c133">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]You've been asking this same question for over a year. The answers are the same. By the way, if the marriage certificate signed and witnessed last year was submitted to your state or county, or whatever agency issued it, then you are legally married. Social security and the DMV are not in the business of licensing marriages.

<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_already-marriedinvitation-wording">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_already-marriedinvitation-wording</a>
Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

She doesn't dispute being legally married. She just doesn't know what name to use on the invitations b/c legally it is still her maiden name even though she socially uses her married name.Good find on the other link, though.

SlothGoals · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:f5f8f1a9-6de4-4a7e-a996-b4cba2c7f754">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vow renewal invite wording : Oh, well that changes everything. In this case, you should word your invites like this: Mrs. Pretty Princess is an entitled brat and hasn't commanded enough of your attention Please join her as she pretends to be a bride and parades around as such At X location on Y date Also, make sure to include your registry information on your invites. This is especially important for fake weddings to ensure people know you're only doing it for their money/gifts.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

<div>DED. Just DED.</div>

beardownbchs · February 2013

What does DED mean?

abysmom25 · February 2013

Are you people kidding me right now? Last year, on that same post, y'all reemed me out for calling it a wedding, and now you're doing the same about me calling it a vow renewal. Doesn't every little girl dream of having a big wedding with the dress and flowers and everything? Most people don't dream about getting married in black pants and a shirt in a 10 minute ceremony during Christmas that no one even remembers. No, I'm not ashamed of my wedding, I'm so blessed to be married to my husband. But it's not what we wanted. I'm not after gifts or money (even though we never got anything other than a bottle of champagne from my brother and sister-in-law as a gift), I'm not greedy. All we want is to have a do-over of our big day. Just because most of y'all could afford to do it right the first time around doesn't mean that everyone can. We just want what we dreamed of, that's all. If we don't get gifts, so be it. We're not after gifts. We want to spend the day with our close family and friends.

Oh, and as for the other post, that was when we were planning this last year. We decided to wait, therefore we stopped planning. What's the big deal about asking again? Sue me, I didn't feel like going back a year and looking for my old post.

beardownbchs · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:c3a8d76a-ee02-4377-b19b-ea0efd668785">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you people kidding me right now? Last year, on that same post, y'all reemed me out for calling it a wedding, and now you're doing the same about me calling it a vow renewal. Doesn't every little girl dream of having a big wedding with the dress and flowers and everything? Most people don't dream about getting married in black pants and a shirt in a 10 minute ceremony during Christmas that no one even remembers. No, I'm not ashamed of my wedding, I'm so blessed to be married to my husband. But it's not what we wanted. I'm not after gifts or money (even though we never got anything other than a bottle of champagne from my brother and sister-in-law as a gift), I'm not greedy. All we want is to have a do-over of our big day. Just because most of y'all could afford to do it right the first time around doesn't mean that everyone can. We just want what we dreamed of, that's all. If we don't get gifts, so be it. We're not after gifts. We want to spend the day with our close family and friends. Oh, and as for the other post, that was when we were planning this last year. We decided to wait, therefore we stopped planning. What's the big deal about asking again? Sue me, I didn't feel like going back a year and looking for my old post.
Posted by abysmom25[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>People very rarely get the wedding that they dreamed of when they were children. I won't. But I'm also waiting to get married until I can afford to have the wedding my fiance and I want. We're going to have been together for 7 years by the time we get married. Sure it would be nice to get married now, but we have chosen to wait to have the wedding we want. </div><div>
</div><div>That is part of being an adult - you make choices and you deal with the effects of those choices (I don't like to say consequences because being married isn't a bad thing, but the consequence here is that you forego having a large wedding celebration since you decided to get married for the tax purposes). </div><div>
</div><div>Obviously you will do whatever you want, but it is terribly inappropriate to have a repeat wedding. I can promise people will talk behind your back and they will side-eye you. I'm not trying to be rude here, I really am not. A few of my best friends have done this repeat wedding and most of the people there had something negative to say about it, just not to their faces. </div><div>
</div><div>It is perfectly acceptable to have a wonderful party in celebration of your marriage. Have a great dinner with an open bar, even a DJ or band with dancing. Wear a beautiful cocktail dress or gown. But the "wedding" aspects of it are not okay. A wedding dress, bridal party, first dances, bouquet tosses and things like that are not appropriate for this type of thing. </div><div>
</div><div>Think about it. Seriously. You won't feel foolish wearing a wedding dress when you're already a wife? You won't feel foolish repeating vows that you have already done? This is essentially a fake production of a wedding and I, for one, would feel like a giant ridiculous ass pretending to be a bride when I am not one. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm having a destination weding and my mom suggested that I wear a wedding dress for the BBQ party we'll have at home after. I told her absolutely not! There's no way I would do that because I am already a wife. I might wear a white sundress, but anything more would be inappropriate.

</div>

SlothGoals · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:9707b128-edff-4095-8d56-32b171ff9256">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]What does DED mean?
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was dying of laughter!

</div>

beardownbchs · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:6273f5e5-18ef-4d72-9894-c9f6c59e76cd">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vow renewal invite wording : I was dying of laughter!
Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, lol good. I thought it was funny, but then worried I went a little far and was too mean. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /></div>

SlothGoals · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:cfbd2c31-8f50-4bf3-9cee-ff850f700ca2">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vow renewal invite wording : Oh, lol good. I thought it was funny, but then worried I went a little far and was too mean.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, oh no way! Not too harsh, we were all thinking it anyways :)</div>

abysmom25 · February 2013

Well, all I have left to say is that I will do what I want, I'm paying for it. My family and friends love me, they will not talk crap about me. If I had that kind of family, then they would not be invited. And if your family would talk crap about y'all, then that's not my problem. This is what we want, we do not feel entitled to anything. And I will NOT feel like a giant ass or a fool for doing what I want. You people are not invited, so you won't have to roll your eyes the whole time like you claim you would.

beardownbchs · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:f5f8f1a9-6de4-4a7e-a996-b4cba2c7f754">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vow renewal invite wording : Oh, well that changes everything. In this case, you should word your invites like this: Mrs. Pretty Princess is an entitled brat and hasn't commanded enough of your attention Please join her as she pretends to be a bride and parades around as such At X location on Y date Also, make sure to include your registry information on your invites. This is especially important for fake weddings to ensure people know you're only doing it for their money/gifts.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Then this wording is very appropiate for you. </div>

libby2483 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_vow-renewal-invite-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9328c8bd-00a3-4c76-be0d-dbcaeb8a3171Post:a1144387-bca4-4c41-a79e-26b09294c6c2">Re: Vow renewal invite wording</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well, all I have left to say is that I will do what I want, I'm paying for it. My family and friends love me, they will not talk crap about me.</strong> If I had that kind of family, then they would not be invited. And if your family would talk crap about y'all, then that's not my problem. This is what we want, we do not feel entitled to anything. And I will NOT feel like a giant ass or a fool for doing what I want. You people are not invited, so you won't have to roll your eyes the whole time like you claim you would.
Posted by abysmom25[/QUOTE]

<div>Then why bother posting and asking for advice? And I'm sure that your family and friends do love you, but that doesn't mean they won't talk about how tacky this is behind your back.</div>

j-harvey · February 2013

Vow renewal invite wording

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