schedule of ceremony and reception

[Deleted User] · August 2011

Because most of my family and friends are from out of town, my ceremony has to be on a saturday. problem is that my church only performs ceremonies at 2pm. I wanted to have a nightime reception but with a 2pm ceremony time i feel like i can't do this. thoughts?

KFAW63012 · August 2011

My cousin had a 2:30 with a 6:00 reception. I think that most Catholics understand the waiting as you really have to work with the church on the available windows of time they have and then the reception place on when they'll start. Maybe give a list of suggestions for where they could go between the 2? Or they could head back to their hotels? Mine is a 2:30 wedding with a 5:30 reception.

professorscience · August 2011

When are you getting married? My ceremony is at 2, with the reception right after, but since it will be November, it will be dark around 5:30 or so. If you do that, your guests get daytime, sunset, and nighttime views of your venue.

Or you can have the gap... just make sure your guests have somewhere to go. ESPECIALLY since you have so many from OOT. It's kind of uncool (read: rude) to give people an hour (or more) of downtime in a city they're not from. A friend of mine had her reception at a hotel, so most of the guests just gathered at the bar there while we waited for the reception to start.

Calypso1977 · August 2011

i would avoid the gap. how far is your reception from teh church? ceremony will be about an hour, that takes you to 3pm. factor in travel time, you could have cocktails from 330-430, then dinner at 430. sure, its early, but folks will be hungry as they probably would have eaten lunch early that day to travel to teh wedding.

not all catholics understand the gap. i had never heard of such a thing until the Knot. have others in your family/circle had gaps? if not, then this will be very odd to them.

if your church will do a morning ceremony, you could also have a reception from 12-6 then do an after party. ive been to weddings like that before.

bibliophile2010 · August 2011

The gap is really controversial on the Knot -- fair warning. I think it comes 100% down to what your friends and family expect. Have you ever been to a wedding with a gap?

If so, how did your friends/family respond?

If not, you should probably avoid it.

FWIW, we had a 2pm mass and 4 pm reception in the dead of summer, so sundown was after 7:30. It was over at 9, and people all had a blast. The timing was perfect for us -- the kids and older people were able to enjoy the celebration and there was still time for people to go out if they chose to. I didn't hear one complaint about a non-evening reception, but think there would have been feedback if I'd had a big huge gap.

Meegles4 · August 2011

The gap isn't ideal, but I think with Catholic weddings it can be slightly unavoidable. and I don't think it's really fair to look down on it b/c in many circles, it's the norm. I've been to plenty of weddings with a gap and we typically go to a bar or something and get some apps and drinks.

My wedding will be a full mass at 2, with cocktail hour not starting until 6. It sucks, but this was the latest we could get into the church and the earliest we could get into our venue (and most venues we looked at without paying an exorbitant amount of $$). The mass will be slightly longer than an hour, there will be some family pictures following, and then, yes, people will be on their own. The reception is about 15 minutes away from the ceremony.

We're thinking of a couple things to keep people entertained. My dad thinks he may just invite folks to a nearby bar in one of the hotels where they're staying. We've also discussed working with a local tour company to offer a tour of our city. We'll also likely include a list of our favorite places in the OOT gift bags and on our website for people to look at and potentially go to if they want.

I imagine most family will go to the hotel bar, most of our friends will go to another bar, and the few who don't want to do that may just go relax in their hotels before the reception.

Just have some options for people and it'll be fine.

P.S. If you really don't like the gap, most churches allow you to get married during their Saturday mass. But, I've heard you don't have any control over the music & readings. We thought about this, but I wanted to include some of my favorite hymns and we did want some sort of a gap for photos because we'd prefer not to do a first look and pics prior to the ceremony.

doctabroccoli · August 2011

Gaps are common and expected in our circle, so for us it was NBD. Usually we see people at weddings we don't get to see too often, so we just hang out at the bar or something during the downtime. For my wedding, my parents hosted people at their house, but we did have a lot of people just opt to run around the city by themselves instead. But like PPs said, it really does depend on what's common in your circle.

Riss91 · August 2011

Will your reception hall allow you to start cocktails at 3:30? If so, you could do cocktails and hors d'oeuvres for an hour and a half - ending at 5:00pm. Then your reception from 5-10...

If your reception hall won't allow an earlier start time, then you have to decide whether your guests would be upset with a gap. In my circle, they are very common. If you do have a gap, you should direct guests to locations where they can sit, grab a drink, use the restroom OR ideally, find a nearby hotel and host something at a hospitality suite with light refreshments. Just be sure your guests are accommodated during that time.

[Deleted User] · August 2011

thank you all for the suggestions. I am getting married in March in South Florida and we are getting married at a hotel with the bar, so thats a great suggestion. All of my family weddings have had a gap but none of my friends understood the concept so thats why I got worried.

Calypso1977 · August 2011

you should be ok if both families are used to it. but id explain it pretty clearly to your friends and make sure there is something to do, although it sounds like most will be at the hotel. be prpeared for some of them to skip the ceremony or reception, ive heard that happens.

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

I've been to 2pm weddings with receptions immediately following that lasted until 11pm. Dinner was served around 5 or 6pm, and then we danced and danced.

monkeysip · August 2011

Gaps are not familiar in my circle, so I think we're going to have a 2pm ceremony, and cocktail hour starting at 4:00. Dinner served around 5:30, then people can just dance the night away starting at 6:00 or 6:30. If you really want to stretch out the reception, have some late night snacks served around 9:00 or so--that will give them something to look forward to and give them energy to keep dancing.

I like the idea of having a reception that goes from day to night. You get daytime and nighttime pictures.

But I wouldn't be offended by someone who had a gap, as long as there was something to do close by.

ootmother2 · August 2011

Our schedule:

1:30 PM wedding

out at 2:45

receiving line from 2:45 until around 3:15

We served wine, fruit & cheeses, water, etc. at one of the villas on the venue property while the bridal party was off taking photos at the beach.

Only a bit over half of the guests went to the suites. The rest went to check into their hotel rooms or they went to the beach.

Reception doors opened at 5:00 sharp

sam5202 · August 2011

We are having a 2:00 wedding as well with our reception beginning at 5:30. Every single guest on our list except for may parents lives out of town, so it's definitely not ideal, but it's a fairly common practice among my friends and family.

I am just making sure the time the reception begins is very clearly printed on my reception cards so that everyone knows what to expect.

I'm also including suggestions of things to do (especially with children, since we have many little ones attendings) on my wedding website. Also, the hotel I blocked rooms at doesn't even offer check in until 3:00, so if my guests are traveling that morning, they are going to need that time to get settled into their rooms.

I was really worried about it at first, but my mom insists that there are much more important things to worry about, and after talking to most of my friends and family, they don't seem to mind either. (As long as they are pointed in the direction of the hotel bar..haha)

professorscience · August 2011

Another thought, just because your reception ends around 8 or 9 doesn't mean the party has to. FMIL just told us she's rented out some party area in her hotel for us, family, and wedding party to continue celebrating after our reception "officially" ends. FI and I plan on going to one of our favorite bars before that.

schedule of ceremony and reception

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