Okay, I have a bit of a weird family dynamic going on. FI's parents are divorced. Neither parent is remarried (at this time), but both have significant others. None of these people like each other, speak on a regular basis, or get along at all.
We recently found out my FFIL is going to be getting engaged to his long time, on & off GF. I am sure this has to do with our upcoming wedding in some way shape or form, but I won't go into that. I'm happy for them if that's what they want to do.
My question is how I should treat/approach this woman with regard to the wedding. My parents sort of made it clear before that she was not to be involved or have a say in anything - since they are paying for most of the wedding, we are paying the rest - and out of respect for my FMIL. But that was before the engagement. If they are to be married next year, this woman will be in my life just like the rest of my ILs, and I don't want there to be long term resentment or hurt feelings. I don't want my FFIL to be offended either, but again, don't want to step on Mom's or MIL's toes.
Should she be given guidelines for an outfit for the wedding? Should she wait until both MOB and MOG have purchased dresses? Should she be included in family pictures? Should contributions or help she offers be accepted and politely declined?
The other thing then is how to treat FMIL's BF - he is a guy and could probably not care less about the wedding. I'm sure he would not be offended by being excluded from anything, events, pictures, etc. but will FMIL be mad that FFIL's FI was included and her BF was not (they are sort of engaged as well...it's complicated.)
This probably sounds incredibly complicated and doesn't make much sense... but if you have advice on dealing with ILs, weird family dynamics, divorced parents' significant others, etc. please let me know! Thanks!