Is it wrong to suggest gift cards to places?

quirkygrl16 · December 2012

I'm putting together a wish list at Victoria's Secret for my shower...but I figured not everyone would want to get me that so I was thinking i'd suggest a gift card to bath &body works, or target, or something like that for them. Is that wrong to do???
EDIT:Apparently it IS wrong to ask for giftcards or suggest them...what are you ladies asking for then?? I'm at a loss..

itzMS · December 2012

Yes, it's wrong.

You can't define what someone would want to get you as a gift.

At the very most, you can tell your hostess your favorite stores, in the off chance a guest asks her what to buy.

AddieCake · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-wrong-to-suggest-gift-cards-to-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:77f4f089-5895-4ce7-b7a4-7786a5b16df2Post:42a2fa3e-2525-43d6-a9aa-528f12975703">Re: Is it wrong to suggest gift cards to places?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it's wrong. You can't define what someone would want to get you as a gift. At the very most, you can tell your hostess your favorite stores, in the off chance a guest asks her what to buy.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<div>This. </div>

Darbie914 · December 2012

I don't know if I'd want my mom and relatives to purchase things that I'd be wearing prior to having sex with my husband as gifts for my shower. To each his/her own.

HobokensFury · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-wrong-to-suggest-gift-cards-to-places?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:77f4f089-5895-4ce7-b7a4-7786a5b16df2Post:96a7ef70-c59f-4295-baf8-f5fcd6905a95">Re: Is it wrong to suggest gift cards to places?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if I'd want my mom and relatives to purchase things that I'd be wearing prior to having sex with my husband as gifts for my shower. To each his/her own.
Posted by Darbie914[/QUOTE]

Actually it's very common in our area for mother's to buy their daughters wedding night lingerie and give it as the last gift of the bridal shower. Don't be surprised if it happens to you. It's nothing scandalous- usually a pretty nightgown and some slippers.

quirkygrl16 · December 2012

It's actually VERY common to have lingerie be bought for you at a bridal shower actually. I was told a lot of ladies have registries for their bridal showers to make it easier and give ideas for the guest attending to get you. I'm aware it's usually physical gifts i'm just not even sure what to ask for.... Perhaps i'll just make a registry for Target or something generic like that in addition to my VS one.

jessicabessica · December 2012

Guests bought things from our wedding registries for my shower. Someone did get me a cotton bathrobe, but that was as close to lingerie as anyone got.

Do you expect everyone to get you lingerie? Have you talked to your shower hostess about it? I have never been to a lingerie shower. I don't think I would ever buy someone lingerie that she had registered for or put on a wishlist. I would rather pick out a robe and some massage candles or something to give. Registering for lingerie is weird, IMO. I've heard of the shower hostess including the bride's size with the invitation so guests know what to buy.

hoffse · December 2012

OP, a few things. First, most people make a distinction between a lingerie shower and a wedding shower. The wedding shower is for home items - your towels, measuring cups, small appliances, sheets, etc. The lingerie shower is for lingerie. I have also never seen people combine the two, though I know some mothers give their daughters a nice nightie/robe set for the wedding night at the wedding shower. This is pretty much the only cross-over I've ever heard of and people are cool with it because it's a mother-daughter intimate thing.

Please, whatever you do, do not register for lingerie. That's incredibly awkward for guests. If you are having a lingerie shower the hostess (NOT you) will put your size on the invitation, and then people go from there. I have seen lingerie on registries before, and every time that's happened the bride basically has gotten nothing from that registry at all (ie: target) because it's so awkward. Plenty of people aren't comfortable giving things like bras, thongs, and teddies and will opt for robes or candles instead. Others will be more risque. But all anybody needs is your size and people can figure out what they are comfortable with. Personally, I would not buy you a nightie that you registered for.

You may register for home items for a traditional shower - like I said, towels, bedding, kitchen items, bakeware, china, crystal, flatware or sterling silver. Those are the traditional registry items that people are talking about when they mention wedding registries.

You need to talk to your hostess to see what her thoughts are - because these are two different kinds of events. Lingerie showers are typically smaller with the bride's closest friends. Wedding showers can be larger because there's nothing awkward that's going to be revealed. I am having both. I am having a traditional shower with about 40 guests in early February, and then the Thursday before the wedding my MOH is throwing an old fashioned slumber party with pizza, movies, ice cream, etc. and we will have a small lingerie shower with just the girls and my mom. No invites for the latter, no larger crowd, just my nearest and dearest.

misssunshine17 · December 2012

I gagged at registering at VS. Gross. Don't put your guests in such an awkward situation.

Darbie914 · December 2012

Thanks hoffse, I didn't make the distinction in my earlier post. While I have seen MOB give robes, candles, and things of that nature at bridal showers, I have never been to a shower where the more risque lingerie was given. In our circle, it's pretty common for those things to be given at either a lingerie shower or at the bachelorette party. Even if someone else got me something like a teddy or a lacy thong at my bridal shower, I'd still feel a little weird opening it in front of my older relatives.

artbyallie · December 2012

I had a separate lingerie shower. My mother, aunt, grandmothers, MIL, and SIL all attended and gave gifts. Yes, we're weird.

But to answer the OP, asking for gift cards is the same as asking for cash and thus inappropriate. Showers are for physical gifts anyway, because no one wants to sit around and watch you open gift cards or cash. Make a small Target registry rather than request cards.

sparkles776 · December 2012

Seriously, a VS wishlist? Isnt it enough to just give your sizes? I have never seen lingerie at a wedding shower, ever. Sure, at a bach party or a lingerie shower. It seems strange to be opening up thongs and garters and toasters all at the same time. I would definitely not ask for gift cards since it is the same thing as asking for cash and no one wants to watch you open a bunch of envelopes.

Lazynella · December 2012

I think it is perfectly fine to suggest gift cards. I am registering at bed bath and beyond but my shower invites will also suggest a gift card to sears for you appliances. Everyone knows we are building a house and if we could combine gift cards to afford our appliances that would be great. I cant exactly register for a stove or washer. I think it is fine. And I often buy gift cards for brides at the store they are registered at to use toward a more expensive gift I couldnt afford.

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

Go with the registry option, and clarify with the host what kind party this is. You do not want your guests showing up not knowing, and getting embarrassed if things turn risque.

I know I personally am not comfortable with parties of that nature, and avoid them. If I was told I was attending a bridal shower, and it started devolving into the mother giving her daughter massage oils, I'd be SO uncomfortable.

Is it wrong to suggest gift cards to places?

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