forgive me...for I have posted.

laurencholmes · December 2010

thank you for your help everyone...I just realized my full name was my username I'm changing it and I will be back very soon. I'd rather not have crazy people come and chop me up into duck food.

ootmother2 · December 2010

You do sound like a great friend.

That said, it isn't really the bridal party's responsibility to take care of these things, it's up to the bride and her FI. (he sounds like a dkickhead though)

Good luck

kellya01 · December 2010

Hi Lauren, you may want to change your user name so that it isn't your full name. Internet privacy and all that jazz. You can't change the user name you've already created, but you can easily create a new account.

I would say the following about your scenario: While it is gracious of you to help your friend (the bride) as much as you already have, she and her FI should be doing the bulk of the work. Any BM's or GM's who want to help are certainly welcome to offer their help individually, but no bride or groom should expect their attendants to be their "wedding workers." Likewise, you did offer to do the work, and honestly, was that contingent on all the other BM's putting in equal work efforts too? Because if that was the case, you might have called them and said "hey, would you like to help me knock out the favors and invites for the bride" and gotten their consent to help before offering your assistance to the bride. If you've already offered to help and want the other BM's to help you, if they say no, then you're kind of out of luck. Do the best you can to do what YOU can do, and then just let it go. I'm so impressed at your attitude of helping this bride who appears to have been through so much already.

I'm sorry your friend is going through so much stress and pain before her big day... I cannot imagine having a BM who sabotages my dress... I would probably scream a few times, and it might not exactly be pleasant.

Best of luck!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

Well, friends are people who are there for you. Since she's your best friend, it sounds like of course you want to step up and help her when she has problems. That said, maybe her BMs are not as close to her as you are. Or maybe they're just really busy right now. Or maybe they've been helping her in other ways. As a BM, they aren't required to help with wedding planning, but I can see how as a friend, you would hope they would be there for her. Has she mentioned that she resents them for not helping? If not, I just wouldn't bring it up. If she has, then she can determine who her real friends are.

AdeleDazeem · December 2010

This entire situation sounds like a crapton of drama. I wouldn't be running to jump into the fray, either.

laurencholmes · December 2010

Thanks ladies....I just realized my name was my username. Yikes! I'll be back soon with another name. Promise.

ootmother2 · December 2010

It's Christmas so I hope the flames won't be too bad.

Quite honestly, I KNOW it's not the BP responsibility to do anything other than show up in the right dress at the right time and smile.

I do think that real friends who do only that kind of suck unless there are extenuating circumstances.

Friends help friend out and that includes at least offering to help do some of the crap work for your FRIEND.

M had 6 in her BP, two in NYC and 4 in the Boston area. Every single one of them worked together to give her a lovely shower and a fun bach party. The two who were her roommates DID help thread ribbons on the menu cards and all that crap.
And she did the same for them when they got married. Because friends help friends, whenever they can. WR or not

forgive me...for I have posted.

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