Registry and Gift Forum

What should I get this couple?

My fiance and I were recently invited to a wedding for a friend of his. The wedding is less than two months away, and I decided to get online last night and purchase their gift. I want to spend between $60-$100 on their gift.

TK listed only two registries for them, and each one had probably less than 20 items on it. Only about 3 of the items total were in my price range. The rest were less than $20. In addition, nothing had been purchased from either registry. The assortment of items listed seemed completely random. For example, they registered for only 2 place settings and 1 set of sheets (but no other bedding).

I thought that there must be some mistake, so I went to the websites for other stores that people commonly register at to see if they were registered there but TK somehow didn't include that on their page. They weren't.

Based on the random assortment of items they registered for, I got the impression that maybe they just don't really need or want any of the traditional registry items.

I have never been the type of person who is comfortable giving cash, checks, or gift cards as a wedding gift, but in this case, I really feel like it may be the best option. I don't want to get them a place setting because if that's the only one they receive, I don't know how useful that would be. The only other option would be to get them an assortment of a bunch of the smaller kitchen tools.

What do you ladies think?

Re: What should I get this couple?

  • I would get them one of the several items in your price range that they list - don't worry if their registry is random.  Even if they do want cash, you're not obligated to give it, and that's what their registry is for. I'm like you and would always prefer to give a physical gift.  So I'd go ahead and pick your favorite item of the ones listed and call it done before somebody else grabs them.
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  • edited March 2012

    Both my registries are small and a majority of the items are under $30. I wouldn't consider my registries random, but I have most of what I need already. I also don't feel comfortable registering for really expensive gifts, whether I want them or not.  I also did keep my registries small because I would prefer cash gifts at my wedding. If I were you, I'd either buy one of the items in your price range, or a few of the cheaper items (even if they aren't related). Regardless of whether the item is random, they registered for item because they want it.

  • If you don't want to give cash, I would get some stuff from the registry in the price range you set, get something else from the store where they registered that you think they will like (inlcude a gift receipt), or a GC to that store.
  • They might have registered for 1-2 place settings because they already have that pattern and they want to add to their set. I would just get the place setting.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_what-should-i-get-this-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:45fd2f0c-fc40-452a-9093-d5f76e16a86cPost:2d063dff-a5a5-46fc-ba8a-5929571a8082">Re: What should I get this couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]They might have registered for 1-2 place settings because they already have that pattern and they want to add to their set. I would just get the place setting.
    Posted by Amynutrition[/QUOTE]
    This, exactly.<div>
    </div><div>My registry probably looks fairly random as well because, like many people, we've been on our own for ~30 years combined and don't need to set up housekeeping so we reigstered for select upgrades, a spare set of sheets etc.</div>
  • Although you certainly don't HAVE to give cash, I would rethink your aversion to it, because I think what this couple is trying to communicate is that they would appreciate cash over physical gifts.  Although it is true that "it's the thought that counts," they may not need whatever physical gift you take a chance on giving them, or it may not suit their tastes.  A $100 cash gift would be a good solution, and it's very typical.

    If you really, really cannot bring yourself to give cash, consider having your boyfriend ask the couple what an appropriate gift would be that's not on their registry.  He doesn't have to explain why he's asking (no need to dis their registry!).  They surely will have some ideas.  There's no harm in asking this question; I've done it myself when a registry is sold out.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_what-should-i-get-this-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:45fd2f0c-fc40-452a-9093-d5f76e16a86cPost:eba78e19-2cb1-489a-8013-685320a0f039">Re: What should I get this couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Although you certainly don't HAVE to give cash, I would rethink your aversion to it, because I think what this couple is trying to communicate is that they would appreciate cash over physical gifts.  Although it is true that "it's the thought that counts," they may not need whatever physical gift you take a chance on giving them, or it may not suit their tastes.  A $100 cash gift would be a good solution, and it's very typical. If you really, really cannot bring yourself to give cash, consider having your boyfriend ask the couple what an appropriate gift would be that's not on their registry.  He doesn't have to explain why he's asking (no need to dis their registry!).  <strong>They surely will have some ideas</strong>.  There's no harm in asking this question; I've done it myself when a registry is sold out.
    Posted by casyme[/QUOTE]

    If this couple is anything like me, this may not work. I don't like asking for anything. Not for Christmas, my birthday, and my wedding is no exception. You should either choose a couple of things off the registry or give cash.
  • egm900egm900 member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    I also prefer to give physical gifts.  I had a friend who didn't register and she said the best thing they got was high thread count sheets and super nice towels, so I've turned those into my go to gifts for people who don't register for much as many people won't buy "luxury" daily use items.  If they're registered for sheets, that's a pretty good indication of their bed size, and towels work for anyone.  I would just make sure you include a gift receipt to the store so they can return if they that is what they want to do. 

    I also agree with PPs that they might be expanding a set, or with dinnerware, perhaps they had a set break, etc., so I wouldn't necessarily shy away from those things, although, like you, I likely wouldn't purchase unless I knew that was the case.  The key is to trying to be thoughtful in your gift selection.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_what-should-i-get-this-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:45fd2f0c-fc40-452a-9093-d5f76e16a86cPost:2d063dff-a5a5-46fc-ba8a-5929571a8082">Re: What should I get this couple?</a>:
    [QUOTE]They might have registered for 1-2 place settings because they already have that pattern and they want to add to their set. I would just get the place setting.
    Posted by Amynutrition[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is what I was going to say.  Or maybe the one set of sheets matches bedding they already have.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'd just give them a physical gift from their registry, or cash.  I wouldn't try buying them a physical gift that they haven't asked for.</div>
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