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Pregnant Bridesmaid

AnnK8y5AnnK8y5
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in Moms and Maids
One of my bridesmaids just informed me that she was pregnant. She's probably going to be around eight months at my wedding so she's not sure if she wants to be in my bridal party or not. She's one of my best friends so of course I would love her to be but that's her choice. 
 
So my questions are:

If she does choose to be in my bridal party, is it ok to have her wear a different style dress? The one I picked is fairly fitted around the stomach but there is another style that has a higher waist. I'm not worried about there being a different style but more about how my other bridesmaids would feel. Is it unfair that I didn't give them another option? They have all ordered their dresses already.

If she doesn't want to be in my bridal party, are there other ways I could include her? I've been friends with her longer than any of the other girls so it would mean a lot to me to have her there.

What are your thoughts? Pregnant Bridesmaid
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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid

  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    1. It is totally ok for her to wear a maternity style. She's pregnant. If your other BMs get upset about that, they are immature. 
    2. Leave it up to her. She will let you know what she can and cannot handle. Will she be flying or otherwise traveling? I know it can be hard on a pregnant woman to make a long drive or flight, and I think airlines have restrictions on pregnancies as well. 
    3. If she removes herself from the WP, you can keep as an honorary BM in the program, especially if she is unable to attend. This would be a nice gesture. 
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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Wearing a different dress is fine.  Pregnancy definitely deserves an exception, even if the other BMs have to wear the same thing.

    Let her decide what she is comfortable with.   It's OK to ask if there's anything you can do to make being a bridesmaid easier for her, but don't ask her if she wants to step down.  There may be other accomodations you can make, like saving a seat in the front row in case she has to sit down, and not asking her to wear heels.

    Leave her in the program either way.  About the only other honor position that's actually an honor is reader.  If she feels more comfortable with public speaking than in a procession of pretty dresses at that point, you could offer her that.

    Be flexible and supportive.  You never know how things will work out, so be open to changes and remember, as much as she cares about you and your wedding, her child will be her biggest priority.  As long as you keep that focus in mind, you should be fine.
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  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
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    im so happy this post is still all about including the pregnant BM instead of being upset shes pregnant and asking how to kick her out.

    thank you op for being one of the more sensible brides posting on this topic!
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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-bridesmaid-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4aee4675-9fe7-464a-92fd-e30f6a0e533fPost:d64f6eb5-8afd-483e-b599-df1e3cfa7011">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]im so happy this post is still all about including the pregnant BM instead of being upset shes pregnant and asking how to kick her out. thank you op for being one of the more sensible brides posting on this topic!
    Posted by kaitlyn&henry[/QUOTE]

    Yea, this is a diss on me (you didn't even answer her questions). FTR, I never wanted to kick anyone out, go re-read my post. I'm not a terrible person.

    OP, I agree that having her wear a different dress is ok if she's ok with it, and you're ok with it. I'm going to have my pregnant BM wear the same dress but only because when I was shopping for my BM dresses, I took having any of them pregnant into consideration, knowing it was probably going to happen. (Thus, I'm not about to kick anyone out just for being pregnant! I'm concerned how she's going to feel since she's due 10 days before the wedding!)

    As for giving her another job, I think if she doesn't feel like being actually in the wedding, she may not feel up to another job. But, I'm not a fan of putting friends/family in the roll of a "job", except maybe a kid you'd like to include but can't actually include them in the WP. I'd say just invite her (obviously) and let her enjoy the wedding as much as she can. You could still mark her as an honorary bridesmaid in your program, and maybe give her a shout out at your reception for all of her help, or whatever. Trust me, a public thank you goes a long way!
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  • AnnK8y5AnnK8y5
    First Comment
    Thanks for all the advice! She's one of my best friends so I'm obviously very excited for her. It's taking all I've got to not buy her baby gifts yet.

    She's going to be just shy of eight months and she says she's up for it. If she decides even that day that she can't do it, she'll still be in the program. I will definitely make sure I have a chair near her at all times but I'm pretty certain she'll last longer on the dance floor than anyone else :)
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