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Mom does not approve of wedding costs- not what you think...

kaylabtestermankaylabtesterman
in Wedding Reception Forum
I am very blessed for price to not be an issue for my wedding.  It is a great luxery to have no price limit!  However my mother (who I love herlping with the planning) is always looking at the price tag with disdain.  She sometimes even says: "That is far too much.  I can't let you spend your money on that."  I love her, but she is making me feel quilty about something that isn't an issue!

Help!

~K
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Re: Mom does not approve of wedding costs- not what you think...

  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Stop showing your mother invoices and contracts. If she comes with you to a vendor meeting, and the vendor mentions price, cut the vendor off: "Let's discuss pricing later." or "I'm not worried about the price." or "I prefer to just receive estimates in writing." Any real professional will get the hint.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
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    I find it odd that your first post here is to basically brag about how price isn't an issue in your wedding.  An introduction would have been nice.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    If you are paying for everything, just tell her you can afford it and try not to discuss prices with her.  However, is she trying to tell you that she thinks you're not being financially responsible?  Even if you don't have to worry about money at all (for the wedding, for education, for living, etc.), maybe she still thinks it's good to be modest.  
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
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    Is she paying? Maybe she told you cost wasn't an issue before she started seeing the invoices.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    I, too, find it a bit odd that your first post is to brag about your limitless budget.  From a MOB point of view, I am curious on her side of the story.  You could indeed have an unlimited budget and be financially set in other areas of your life,  or you could be making some less than stellar decisions about the money spent on a wedding when it could be better spent for other things that aren't just for a one day party and are for an investment into your future.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
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    If she's not paying for your wedding, I don't see why you'd share the prices with her anyways, unless you just want to brag about how much you are spending.  Which, judging how this is your first post, basically bragging about how you have a limitless budget, I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case.

    Look, it's great that you don't have a budget, truly.  But if your mom's negative comments about cost are really bothering you, then it's kind of common sense to just stop talking about the cost with her.  So really, I'm not sure what you were looking to get out of this post other than to let everyone know that you have a limitless budget, in which case, would have been better served by just doing an intro post...
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited June 2012

    You can throw this out but:

    When we bought our house FOG and MOG gave us $xx amount and said we'll give you $x for the wedding.  Get it - house amount is MORE than wedding amount. 

    They're very smart with their money and I think that was their way of saying we want you to prioritize your home which is where you'll live probably for the rest of your lives, over your wedding, which is just one day.

    I think your mother is trying to do something similar, but like others have said if you're paying thats your right to spend as you will.  Some people are just more frugal than others and I mean no offense in saying that, it's just a differing view point.

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  • ChristineNBChristineNB
    First Comment
    I am curious who is paying for this wedding.  Also, how much are you actually spending on your "limitless budget" wedding?  I don't talk finances with my parents simply because I make a lot more than either of them and even the idea of spending $5k on a wedding would be a lot to my folks.  However, if you are spending say $50k while that is well within your rights your mother might be thinking the money could be going toward other expenses (ie buying a house, paying off debt).
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  • alithebridealithebride member
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    stop telling her about it then....

     

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  • jessica1711jessica1711 member
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    i am recently engaged and my grandmother has been there for me my entire life and is more of a mother to me than my mom.  Her opinion means so much to me and i love her to death, but she is the same way.  She keeps saying we should get married but have no reception because it is a waiste of money for one day.  She says that this is my second marriage and i have kids we don't need it.  Yes i don't need it but it is something we both want. my first husband was an abusive asshole and i met him at 18 we rushed into it and didnt even have a real wedding(jp) and it didnt last 2 years.  Shawn my fiance means so much to me and want things to be special and it is his first and something both him and his family want for us.  We are paying for the entire wedding and no we are not rich but i want my grandmother to be apart of the wedding too and be there for me when we go shopping.  I went dress shopping two weeks ago and i bought my dress but it was depressing because she wouldn't give me an honest opinion and just focused on the price and it was less than $1,000.  Now i feel like i didn'f pick the right dress and im doing something wrong.  Whats a girl to do?
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  • jessica1711jessica1711 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I forgot I posted this but we definitely have a limited budget and I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just wanted her approval.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    jessica1711 said:
    I forgot I posted this but we definitely have a limited budget and I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just wanted her approval.
    No one responded to your previous post.  There was no reason to resurrect a thread that is almost 2 years old.  @KnotPorscha - zombie alert!
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