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Mother Help (Kinda long- sorry!)

aalsworthaalsworth member
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in Oklahoma
Hi I'm new here. 

I did a TON of research for venues and vendors to stay within the budget my dad gave me.  Lo and behold, my mom comes to visit and she wants things that I find aren't necessitites.  My parents will be paying for the wedding, so I try to explain to my dad that I've found some great options that would allow us to have all the aspects of a wedding and it fit's within the budget.  But then I let him know that I have not budgeted for the things my mom finds important.  He tells me not to worry about that- the money part.  That he and my mom will figure it out.

We are not rich.  At all.

But this also means that I'm feeling really left out of my own wedding planning.  I understand they have a huge say in what goes on and where it's located, but I can't help but feel left out....and that I'm missing out on an important time in my life.  How do I make my mom happy without completely surrendering to her?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this way.  Any advice and/or encouragment?
Enjoy the journey, remember the destination.
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Re: Mother Help (Kinda long- sorry!)

  • MrsCoopDawg3467MrsCoopDawg3467
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had the same sort of problem with my mom wanting a full sit down dinner and REAL silveware and so forth and I just had to sit her down and say "this isn't what FI and I want" 
    I explained to her that HER ideas were blowing the budget entirely and that because I know my parents ARENT rich I wanted to stay within or hopefully under budget.  
    Once my mom realized it wasn't what I wanted but what SHE wanted she started to understand.  It took a while but she finally got it.

    Good luck you aren't the only one with the problems I promise. :-)
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  • TisharpTisharp member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I can't offer much advice, because Keith and I had to pay for our own wedding.

    But I will say, that I think you should do something that Dear Abbey often adivises people to do.  Take what you've written here and pretty much say/write it to your mom.  Just be calm, and let her know your true feelings.  I bet she'll respond to that and see that you're being a very responsible adult if you let her know what's really up.

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