Wedding Woes

Non Wedding Disaster

My husband and I got married in July of '11 however we eloped.  We were planning a wedding for Oct of '11 and had the dress and all the fixings plus the bridesmaids dresses, make up lady booked, etc.  I was having some MAJOR issues with my mom and one of my bridesmaids and since my mom was paying for the wedding it was becoming more and more not my wedding and more hers.  I tired several, several times to talk to her about it and it ended multiple times with me crying and then FI mad!  We had one HUGE blow out and I asked my FI to talk to our pastor (doing pre marriage counseling) about what was going on.  We were already finished with the book and he was confident we were ready to take the next step.  His main thing was we can either wait another 3 months and deal with the same issues cause they were not going away or we can get married.  My now husband and I decided to get married.  Now before we did this I called my mom one more time and tried to talk to her and even said I think it would be better if we went ahead and got married.  She said she didn't care. 

Next day I called to tell her we got married, I got called every name in the book and we did not speak for months!  My family didn't really know what to say other than congrats that is if I beat my mom to telling them I got married.  I would see her at family gathers and would try to talk to her but she would not even hug me or even speak to me.  It finally came down to me writing a letter to her expressing my feelings.  In Oct of '11 our church family threw a Wedding Reception for us which I thought was extremely wonderful!

Around Nov we started talking again and have been rebulding our relationship ever since. 

I made mention of doing a vow renewal on our 1 year anniversay since there was SO MUCH going on!!

Granted I know it's not a wedding and just a vow renwal.

I just don't know if it would be tacky or how to even go about doing anything since technically we have already had our reception, etc!

Help?

Re: Non Wedding Disaster

  • how old are you?
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  • i don't understand what you are asking.

    you eloped. you then had a reception once you made up with mom. now you want to have a vow renewal on your 1 year anniversary. is that all? so what is the question?
  • You can whatever kind of party you wish but, like you said, it would be a vow renewal and not a wedding.  However, I'm not sure what you gain by doing this.  It seems you'll have the same issues with your mom as when you were planning your wedding.
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  • Opps - hit enter too soon.

    I guess I don't know why you want a vow renewal now when you had a wedding and a reception last year.

    I think you accept that for what it was and move on with your life.
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  • Oh I get it. the party was BEFORE you and mom made up. now you want to have a vow renewal with mom?

    do whatever you want. is the money yopu spend on the party worth the effort and the outcome? that's my own personal view - seems like a way to just spend a lot of extra money. but it's your choice.
  • My mom and I had not made up until after the reception.

    My question is this... would it be tacky to do this?

    Something small to include family and a FEW friends.  Nothing big, just would like to include family.
  • well, if i got an invitation to a vow renewal after one year of marriage, i would be all curious about a few things:

    -didn't they *just* get married?
    -do i have to bring a gift?
    -why did they elope?
    -will there be a bridal party and the whole shebang?
    -will there be an open bar?

    just to give you an inside look into my mind.

    you can do whatever you want.

  • LOL!  True, true. It's just something I'm rolling through my mind.  Nothing for sure.   Just wanted opinions.  : )
  • Have a nice dinner party (that you pay for) with your immediate family.  Forget the other stuff. 

  • Yeah, the vow renewal is a little weird. 
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  • Yeah, I would skip the vow renewal. I like PP's idea of treating family out for dinner- but the idea of throwing a vow renewal to have a party with mom is really strange to me.
    I agree with the other PP that said you would probably just have the same issues with your mom. Just move on.
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