this is the code for the render ad
Not Engaged Yet

Job stuff

Well, my part-time position is about to become full-time. Obviously I can't work full-time (they offered it to me), so it looks like I may not be coming back after the wedding, assuming they fill the position by then.

I'm fine with it. It's a little weird... what is this? up-sizing? But I'm actually kind of happy. I wanted to quit anyway, and my paycheck isn't exactly big. We won't be missing much.

FI is really stressing over it, though. He didn't want me to quit even though he does make enough money for us to manage (he just bought a $50 board game last week, seriously. It's like the 5th one!). He is putting in his resume at some other companies because he hasn't been promoted as quickly as he'd like (his company is stable, but not exactly growing right now). I called him at lunch today and he's at home stressing over applications.

I told him I'll get another part-time job. It's no big deal. I have retail management experience and glowing recommendations. I could start at Wal-Mart tomorrow if I wanted to. Several retail places here are hiring. It's NOT a big deal.

Heck, I even qualify for work-study through my university if all else fails. It's not much money AT ALL, but it's something to fall back on if for some odd reason I don't find a better opportunity.

Poor FI, though. Things like this (money things, job things) just seem like the world crumbling around him. I've tried comforting him... but when I wished him luck on the resume-sending, he said "There's no 'luck' about it. It's just if I happen to be the one guy they actually notice."

After a pause he admitted that's luck, and I told him stop being such a big jerk-- I was trying to be supportive!

I rock at writing resumes, and have never had to "search" for a job. If I get an interview, I get hired. End of story. Every time. I have no reason to believe otherwise now (and I don't want to-- I like being an optimist!). But FI has always had a hard time standing out from the crowd. After he graduated it took him almost 6 months to find this job. I mean, he HAS a stable job. Now is a GREAT time for him to scope out better opportunities if that's what he wants to do. Why the crap is he so negative?

That's a little rhetorical, because I know him well enough to know he's a glass-half-empty kind of guy sometimes. But it's just frustrating because no amount of optimism and support from me can alter his view. And me "losing" my job (or, working so hard and taking on so much responsibility that they want to make it full-time now) is weighing on him when it really shouldn't.

Blah.
Anniversary

Re: Job stuff

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Josh and Dan are twins.  I swear it!  That's just like a conversation I would have with him! 

    Don't let it stress you.  I know it's hard (and hella fustrating sometimes) but he's got a job, you know you're going to find something else (if need be) and he can keep working on getting other jobs if he likes.  You know he's glass half empty so just try and keep that in perspective.  Keep being the positive, perky, enthusiastic Jeana that we (and HE) love and try not to let him stress you.   And we're always here if you need to rant!

    Oh and btw:2 weeks and 2 days *squeeeeeeeeeeeee*

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    lol, yes, my wedding is close. Cool

    It is rough sometimes because we look at things so differently, and I tend to feel what other people around me feel. If he's down, it brings me down.

    I feel like it's my fault, but it's not. Just because I WISHED I could quit my job and voiced my feelings about it doesn't mean that I created this situation.

    Kind of like when we decided to have a wedding. He was all negative and dragging his feet and complaining that we didn't want a wedding. We didn't. But we agreed that given the choice between wedding and JOP, we would rather have a wedding. I got myself excited about it and jumped into planning while he moped around and said "I can't believe how quickly you just settle for something you don't really want."

    Settle? I was making the best of a decision we made together!

    Someone must pee in his Cheerios some mornings.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    BF is the same thing about stuff.  Sometimes I just wanna smack the mope out of him.  Maybe it's a boy thing. 

    Whenever BF does something similar to what Josh said to you about the job thing, I usually just go ahead with what I want to do (if I can honestly tell that he's just being a grump) and he is glad that it worked out the way I said it would.

    Boys are just finicky sometimes, I guess. :)
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    My BF is very similar.  Things that shouldn't get him down (IMO) do and no matter how optimistic I am (overly usually) it does nothing to cheer him up at all.  It can be very frustrating at times. 

    Anyways about Josh, I'm sure that with the wedding being so close that stress (esp. the "big" wedding that neither of you really wanted but your okay with) is adding to his attitude right now.  Just try and not let his stress bring you down.  If you've had no issue getting a job before I'm sure you'll be just fine in finding something.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    It must be a boy thing. Luckly for my BF I am not close enough some days when I just want to slap him back to reality. I try to empathize with him that getting a job is hard, but then again, I just keep going to school to get more degrees so what do I know about getting a "real" job. The sucky thing about his career field is, you know exactly how many people you are competing with and what rank you are on the hiring list, and not only do you have to have a good resume, you have to take a written test and physical ability test and then an interview or two, or sometimes three. Then you might be one of 6 or so and you hope you get the job. One job he applied for had 1500 applicants, I see how that can be discouraging. Thats why I just went back to school. Job market sucks and I am over qualified for some of the jobs I actually would do and underqualified for the jobs I want
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Maybe we just need to beat them more? 

    (Ew, gross guys, I didn't mean it like that! Pervs! =-P )

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_job-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:925b0a1e-11d6-4792-a58d-8e628664befaPost:bfa690ec-ccd7-404b-9db7-f52f4b0cea97">Re: Job stuff</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe we just need to beat them more?  (Ew, gross guys, I didn't mean it like that! Pervs! =-P )
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

    I honestly took that the clean way till you said "ew..."!  Who's the perv Paige?!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Ugh. Don't even get me started on the whole job thing.  I'm about to literally lose my mind without a job.  I miss being out in the workforce sooo much!! 

    But, I'm happy for you - I know you were really wanting to quit that job.  I'm sorry to hear that Josh is stressing so much over his job search.  It sounds like I'm alot like him in that aspect and my FI is like you.  I'm the one continuously stressing out about the job search and getting upset about it and he is the one trying to calm me down. 
  • edited December 2011
    Jeter, you and Josh need to quit being such Debbie Downers and enjoy life's little surprises! Good and bad-- that's just what makes life interesting.

    Maybe I'll let him take us out to dinner tonight. He loves to eat out.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I think the last time you talked about quitting there was only something like $500 less a month coming into the household and you could easily cut back if need be to make up the deficit?  Or find a replacement job?  Anyway, school should be your main focus now (and Josh, duh!) and working full time would make it almost impossible to finish on time, right?  Don't think of it as quitting, the position changed and you are unable to meet the requirements of the new position.

    I say start applying to other PT jobs so you can ease his worries, but in the long run he should understand that your partner shouldn't have to work at a job she doesn't like just to have "fun money" for board games and such.
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
    imageimageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    My Blog

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm not a perv, Paint =-P

    Maybe a little...

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_job-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:925b0a1e-11d6-4792-a58d-8e628664befaPost:6223c14d-1d2b-4274-8a34-e174da7df541">Re: Job stuff</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not a perv, Paint =-P Maybe a little...
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

    I'm the one who called you a perv Paige!  And it's okay I am a perv usually anyways... remember when the girl said "Jerkins" hehe! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    NQB, I completely agree with you! It's actually more like $300/month. Not a lot. Obviously. I don't think FI realizes how much he blows on eating out and buying board games. REALLY.

    I don't work until 1pm today, so I'm going to work on my resume and scope out some jobs online. Then I'll probably take a drive around this weekend and see what places have "Now Hiring" signs up.

    Josh says that part of the reason he was so down yesterday is he's NOT worried I will find a job, but he's worried I won't like whatever job I get. He doesn't really want me to go back to retail (not my first choice anyway), and he doesn't want me to hate another job.

    I guess that's sweet of him to worry about. Innocent
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Awww, that is sweet of him. 

    Your plans sounds like a solid one.  Good luck!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards