How involved is your FI with the wedding planning?

hsbstone · July 2010

FI really doesn't get thaaaaat much involved with the wedding planning; his reasons for this is that he knows I will do a superb job (his adjective, not mine), and he really doesn't care about flowers, colors, cake, table linens, decor and other details, but he wants to have a say so about the activities that will be planned for the weekend of our Destination Wedding, and the menu as well. He also wants to help to pick up the location for the DW. The rest is pretty much up to me. So girls, how involved is your FI with the wedding planning?

AdelphiTN · July 2010

I'd say similar. He had definite opinions on food, the bar (lol), and other things that matter to him... but really as far as flowers, colors, cake, and anything remotely considered 'decorating' - he does not care. Frankly, its really the same as any other party we've done togther... he is the food & drink person, i am the ambience & entertainment person. it works out.

mysticl · July 2010

My FI is active duty Navy so he is in and out of port. I did most of the venue research, though he was able to go with me to see the one we booked. He helped pick the menu and decided on the bar. He went to the baker which was important to me because he doesn't like most cake and I wanted to make sure we got something he would eat. He's told me that pretty much everything else is up to me and I know he's not going to be here to do a lot of the work like addressing and stuffing invites, seating charts, favors etc. And when he is home we have to work on combining our two houses.

melissamc2 · July 2010

He's pretty involved, to be honest. He's been to every tasting, offered real input on choices, looked at every swatch of everything, and has helped greatly with invitations (the design/printing part). He zones out a little when I get into the real detailed aspects of it all, and is lost on a lot of etiquette, but overall I can't complain.

hope1009 · July 2010

Not that much. We both have crazy schedules, nurse and firefighter so our time together is spent doing things for the house and stuff. I've been doing most of it myself, he is just not that into it. He is excited for the big day, but when it comes to wedding stuff it's not his specialty, so I just ask his opinion on small things. I have made my own invitations, centerpieces, picked out the venue, the JP, written our own ceremony, the DJ etc. The only thing he decided was the cake, which I brought on an airplance back home for home for him to taste. It is what it is, and we both do what we can when we have time to do it. I am satisfied with asking his opinion, like for the invitations, tied with a knot or tied with a bow......I got "bow" yay!!! It's fine by me

arv266 · July 2010

Fi si surprising more involved that I expected him to be. When I ask his opinion I expect to get "what ever you want sweetheart," but I always get his honest opinion. Its sometimes irksome, as there have been times when deeeeeep inside I wanted him to just agree with me! He's decided on the flavor of the cake, but I have made the decision on the style and decoration. He was completely fine with anything I picked, as long as it wasnt fondant.

thealphabride · July 2010

My Fiance has been great with helping. He said in the beginning, "this is your wedding, do what you want" but it is his wedding as well. He's visited venues, helped with the catering menu, bar. He printed out all of my invitation mats, every insert card and cut them all, ONE BY ONE, on printing and cutting. What a gem.

He has helped whenever I ask for his help and he is happy about how things are shaking out. We are about 55 days away, and the planning has been fairly stress free. I registered today, and registered for lots of goodies for him. He is such a prince, he's kept me laughing all the way.

We are both really getting excited.

MikesAngie · July 2010

My FI is very involved and I love having his help!! We are planning our dream wedding,and we have done it all together so far - because we're in this (our relationship) together.

We work well together as a team, and we always have and don't plan on that changing.

Erin McCormack · July 2010

For the most part I've been planning the wedding and setting things up and FI has come to help make the final decisions, venue, DJ, invitations etc. The rest of the details favors, dresses, decore have all been up to me. If I ask his opinion I get it, he's been right along side me through this whole thing. His take on things, he wants to get married, have a party and go on a honeymoon as simple as that.
If only!!!!!! I have to say, he's been great through it all,

SueR13 · July 2010

He is extremely involved. He'd just planned his daughter's wedding about 3 years ago. He hadn't had a big wedding first time so he's very into getting things the way he'd like them to be. I think the only thing he ended up not being involved in was the florist - because we live long distance and that was one appointment I couldn't make when we were together. It's really been a pleasure doing everything else together.

LesPaul · July 2010

Not so much. Not because he didn't care, he just didn't get involved in the details. He was fine with whatever I wanted to do regarding food, cake, decor and ceremony. I asked him to take care of the tuxes for himself and the GM, and he planned the honeymoon.

dwest2201 · July 2010

This will be FI's first and only wedding so he has a say in a lot. At first he said "do whatever you want babe, I want you to be happy"... I knew better and said "No, this is our wedding and I want your input, if there are things that your truly don't care about like flowers, decorations etc that is fine, but I know you do care about some things and I want to know what you think, like etc." He has come around and we are both looking at things and discussing them and its adorable, I love it!

2dBride · July 2010

My wife was quite involved. It was her first wedding, though my second. She was the one who decided we would have actual wedding dresses, instead of just wearing clothes we already owned. She was also the one to suggest we both wear opera gloves. She designed our invitations, programs, thank-you cards, photo sharing cards, etc. She created our wedding Web site, including developing an online RSVP system that let people RSVP only for those actually invited (no plus ones, kids, etc.). And she did a lot of the work on developing our ceremony text.

Lisa50 · July 2010

My FI is involved with all (but one, see 3rd paragraph) aspects of the planning. In the instance that one of us doesn't care as much about the topic -- we put more emphasis on the preference of the one who does care (or the one who knows more about it). It's been really fun and truly a "test drive" for decision-making during the marriage.

For instance, although we both want cake, I am not into it as much as the FI -- so he's chosen the cake flavor and bakery. Similarly, I am more "into" classical music than he, so I have chosen the string quartet (ceremony) and we're going with his preference for the DJ (reception).

The only decisions we're making without each other's input is wardrobe. Just yesterday, I learned that he's thinking of wearing a tux instead of a suit (changed his mind last week, apparently). He'll look sexy no matter what he wears. Yum!

Of course, we (regular posters on this board) know I can't make a doggone decision about the dress, so it would be a nightmare for him. There's no sense in both of us having nightmares ... Hee hee.

DeniseF7 · July 2010

He's not, just says to do whatever I want. He is making the cake though for our post "elopement" dinner party. He is smart enough to say yes to me about everything going on right now, that is just one reason I am marrying him. In this process I have learned some better communication also, explaining to him that something is important to me when it is. lLke his Tux wasn't important but the cake was... and get both my way!

hsbstone · July 2010

Thanks for all your replies girls! I can see that one way or another all the boys are involved in the wedding planning, some more, some less, but above all, they are thrilled to see how good we are doing with this whole wedding craziness and share with us the excitement about the wedding and like ourselves, they can barely wait for the big day when we al will marry our best friend and the love of our lives!!! That's amore!!!

Scarlet Starlet 31 · July 2010

He's been really into it, we're doing everything very equally. I can't think of anything we've done so far that he hasn't really had an opinion on, or done the typical "I don't know anything about that, go ahead and pick what you want" guy thing.

How involved is your FI with the wedding planning?

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