Wedding Wednesday

mpickl · December 2012

Where is everyone with their guest lists? Are you having to cut people or stressing over making your minimum count? Have you started compiling addresses, and has it been like pulling teeth trying to get them? Any words of wisdom, tips, or tricks for those who aren't so far along in the process?

ftrmrsw · December 2012

We have our list pretty much nailed down with the exception of a few people we might take off the list.

We got alot of our addresses when we sent out save the dates out. I think for the most part we are fairly organized in this area.

siriko · December 2012

I think we are completely done with our wedding guest list. The major problem is that the hotel has a very limited amount of room (45 rooms to be precise) which means that the guest list is automatically restricted by that. However we have about 90 guests on our lists which we HAVE to invite without question so we are sending out invites starting htis week and then we will see how that goes. There are several people on the B list which I really want to invite too, but if everyone on our A list says yes then we have no room at all for anyone else. Before we knew the size of the hotel my mom went ahead and invited som B list people, so of course they had to be moved to the A list which made thigns a bit complicated.
One thing that worries me though is that there are some people that are not even on our B list who I know expect invitations, but wont get them... Worried they will make a huge deal over this which I really dont have the energy for...
We were lukcy to have FMIL give us all the adresses for that side of the family. For my side I have them all already, and then the few friends we have I think I should be able to find their adresses online.
Actually we are planning to bypass the whole stamp/post thing by handing out most of the invitations by hand. Save some money and plenty of time. I have had such bad experiences with the post I feel nervous about posting so many invitations and then having to worry that they might not all make it. As I made all the invitations myself I dont have many left over so I really cant afford for the post to lose any... Of course some we have to send as we wont meet everyone so fingers Xed that they make it.
My worry now is that my FI told me that there is some family drama on his side that I dont know about, and which he will not tell me about. All he said that there are some people which can not sit next to eachother etc but he refuses to say who these people are... Not sure how he expects me to make a seating chart without knowing in advance who these people are..

Love11506 · December 2012

Where is everyone with their guest lists? Are you having to cut people or stressing over making your minimum count? Have you started compiling addresses, and has it been like pulling teeth trying to get them? Any words of wisdom, tips, or tricks for those who aren't so far along in the process?

Our guest list is done!! I did have a few stress out moments when my dad said these people NEED to be on thelist and then he realized you can't invite everyone! Getting addresses wasn't bad except my mom lost her address book so we had to find it it took us forever.

I would say think about who is a must invite then the people who aren't must invites think about when you talked to them last if it's been over a year or two I wouldn't invite them. I also started a seating chart and realized I forgot cousins (not mine his oops) so that was helpful!

elliemonster2012 · December 2012

We are pretty much set! I am impressed...we went in hoping for 150 and it is at 182...not bad!

We are having a small problem because FI has 12 cousins once removed or whatever it is called...his cousins kids. I have nobody under the age of 17 on my family and I just never really envisioned having kids at our wedding and my FMIL wants us to have them all. I dunno. It isn't something I feel is really my desicion...if they want the kids there, then ok. If I had to pick? I'd say no. We shall see!

Does anybody have a good excel spreadsheet they are using or website to keep the guestlist? The weddingwire one I have heard is good...I have an excel spreadsheet but I'm not crazy about it because it prints wonky!

BostonGIrl4732 · December 2012

Haha, FI and I were discussing this very issue this morning. We are having our reception on a boat. We can't invite more than 180 people. Otherwise we'll have to put them on a rowboat or something!

We have a preliminary guest list. As of right now, we're 1 person over the limit. And that's assuming nobody starts dating anyone over the next nine months. FI and his mother went over there side and I went over mine this week. We're going to start moving some things around this weekend.

We've decided to cut five people if I can talk my dad into not inviting his least favorite cousin who probably won't come anyway. We're not going to send save the dates to a few people and then we'll see where we are right before we send out invitations depending on the datings/SO situation. If we have room, we can add them back on the list.

I thought I had all my addresses, but it turns out I'm missing a bunch. Mostly the college kids because they move around so much. My FMIL is currently working on her side so it's nice not to have to worry about it.

We're issuing a "haven't talked to them in a year, no invite" rule with a few of our friends. It stinks but it has to be done.

ftrmrsw · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:0363e939-1708-4ff3-92b6-a449754c81cf">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]We are pretty much set! I am impressed...we went in hoping for 150 and it is at 182...not bad! We are having a small problem because FI has 12 cousins once removed or whatever it is called...his cousins kids. I have nobody under the age of 17 on my family and I just never really envisioned having kids at our wedding and my FMIL wants us to have them all. I dunno. It isn't something I feel is really my desicion...if they want the kids there, then ok. If I had to pick? I'd say no. We shall see! Does anybody have a good excel spreadsheet they are using or website to keep the guestlist? The weddingwire one I have heard is good...I have an excel spreadsheet but I'm not crazy about it because it prints wonky!
Posted by elliemonster2012[/QUOTE]<div>
We decided not to invite any cousins except the ones that have invited us to their weddings (which so far is only one). I definitely don't think 2nd cousins would make our list since we're not even inviting our first cousins.</div><div>
</div><div>We also wanted no kids, both our immediate families agree with our decision with the exception of my sister who has made it clear she's not happy her kids aren't invited.</div><div>
</div><div>I say, make your decision and stick with it. You're already over your desired number by about 30 people. If you really don't want kids there you can use that as your scapegoat.</div>

drmass2013 · December 2012

We are still compling addresses and all. We are hoping for 100 but I see it being more than that I have a huge family and I know once I go home for winter break my parents will be like well you forgot this and that person, I see a headache coming on, where's the Tylenol

GoofyAssChick · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:0363e939-1708-4ff3-92b6-a449754c81cf">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anybody have a good excel spreadsheet they are using or website to keep the guestlist? The weddingwire one I have heard is good...I have an excel spreadsheet but I'm not crazy about it because it prints wonky!
Posted by elliemonster2012[/QUOTE]

I made my own Excel spreadsheet which includes the following columns:
RSVP# <em>(because inevitably someone will leave off their name and I plan on writing a number in the corner of each rsvp card that corresponds)</em>
List <em>(Mine or my FI's people)</em>
Rooms
Invites
Accepts
Regrets
Abbr. 1 <em>(Mr)</em>
First Name 1 <em>(all the males are 1)</em>
Last Name 1
Abbr. 2 <em>(Mrs., Ms., Miss)</em>
First Name 2 <em>(all the females are 2)</em>
Last Name 2
Address
City
Zip
Shower Gift
Thank You Card Sent?
Wedding Gift
Thank You Card Sent?

I took those column headers from a wedding planner's website out of Cleveland. (You should look at her stuff... it's reallyyyyy helpful! Here is a link to her blog post about it:
<a href="http://www.heidzillas.com/2009/02/18/guestlist/" rel="nofollow">http://www.heidzillas.com/2009/02/18/guestlist/</a>

I believe we have about five more addresses to obtain on my FI's side but I'm not worried. We're Facebook friends with all those that are missing so we'll just send them a message to ask. But I'm not worried until after the first of the year.

elliemonster2012 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:4b11773d-3369-4b31-85bd-7ff64bcd6d2e">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Wednesday : We decided not to invite any cousins except the ones that have invited us to their weddings (which so far is only one). I definitely don't think 2nd cousins would make our list since we're not even inviting our first cousins. We also wanted no kids, both our immediate families agree with our decision with the exception of my sister who has made it clear she's not happy her kids aren't invited. I say, make your decision and stick with it. You're already over your desired number by about 30 people. If you really don't want kids there you can use that as your scapegoat.
Posted by ftrmrsw[/QUOTE]

That is how I feel! But then FMIL makes the point of we go to ALL of their family parties...we are all pretty close. We go to birthdays and communions and graduations and school plays and such but ughhhhh.

semi891 · December 2012

My Fi's side of the guest list is about twice as long as mine. He was in university for 9 years, two different schools, plus high school, family etc....he was going to take a look at his side of the list and try to make cuts, but couldn't. He would also like to invite the 20 people from his office (that includes spouses).

Our venue can accomodate all these people (we are looking at about 200 right now) so it's not a worry if everyone was to RSVP yes. A lot of them have small children though, and would have to fly across the country (Fi grew up and went to school out east. I'm from the west) so we assume that some of these families may not be able to make it. But who knows?. Our main concern is not actually having the time to see/talk to all of these people if they do all come.

We have most of our addresses though, thanks to Facebook! It's super handy!

staceymutrup · December 2012

I am pretty much done with my list we were hoping our list would come out to about 250 quest which ended up being around 340 guest but that is counting all single people bringing a guest which wont happen in 80% of them. Addresses were pretty easy as my sister got married 2 years ago and my mom was super organized with addresses and my FSIL just got married last month so my FMIL had all of their families addresses and all our friends were pretty easy cause most of them are still in college and living with their parents. I have a wedding planning book that has all the same info as Goofy has so I made about 25 copies of the page (it has 6 groups of info for 6 different people on 1 page) and filled out all the info then put it in a binder, very helpful.

elliemonster2012 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:8b3de2f1-fc3e-4c5e-aee5-912d6bf43c14">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Wednesday : I made my own Excel spreadsheet which includes the following columns: RSVP# (because inevitably someone will leave off their name and I plan on writing a number in the corner of each rsvp card that corresponds) List (Mine or my FI's people) Rooms Invites Accepts Regrets Abbr. 1 (Mr) First Name 1 (all the males are 1) Last Name 1 Abbr. 2 (Mrs., Ms., Miss) First Name 2 (all the females are 2) Last Name 2 Address City Zip Shower Gift Thank You Card Sent? Wedding Gift Thank You Card Sent? I took those column headers from a wedding planner's website out of Cleveland. (You should look at her stuff... it's reallyyyyy helpful! Here is a link to her blog post about it: <a href="http://www.heidzillas.com/2009/02/18/guestlist/" rel="nofollow">http://www.heidzillas.com/2009/02/18/guestlist/</a> I believe we have about five more addresses to obtain on my FI's side but I'm not worried. We're Facebook friends with all those that are missing so we'll just send them a message to ask. But I'm not worried until after the first of the year.
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]

THANKS! Yeah I am for sure doing the rsvp number thingie too...i've heard you could even do it in blacklight friendly pen or just use something to imprint the number on the back without using ink/lead. I personally don't care if the number is the size of the entire card as long as it is on the back haha

armywifeplusthree · December 2012

Well since we dont have a big families we really wont have many people. I've tried to think of people to come and it looks like we wont even have to mail out 25-30 invites. This kinda makes me sad since we are spending so much money and not many people.

ncwenze · December 2012

We wanted to be between 70- 80 people. We have our guest list set, We have about 8 people that I left on the list for now, but we havent talked to in a while, so I may sub them out for different people around the time invitations go out.

Unofortunately, FI has a HUGE family on the east coast (his mother is one of 8, his father is one of 7). So there was no way we could invite all those people, on the off chance that they would all come. We are just inviting his immediate family (mom, dad, sister, grandma) to the wedding in Chicago. Then we plan to do a brunch on the east coast sometime after the wedding for everyone out there.

ftrmrsw · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:5448ae03-e72b-483b-8b9c-f22a5e6ab8e4">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fi's side of the guest list is about twice as long as mine. He was in university for 9 years, two different schools, plus high school, family etc....he was going to take a look at his side of the list and try to make cuts, but couldn't. He would also like to invite the 20 people from his office (that includes spouses).
Posted by semi891[/QUOTE]

<div>haha This sounds like us! I really don't understand why my FI needs to invite 26 people from work plus their spouses. Thats 50 freaking people!!!!!</div><div>
</div><div>I wish he'd just invite the partners & wifes and call it a day! Gah!</div>

mpickl · December 2012

We're up to 220 -- ahh! We'd really like to see the final count closer to 150, but we'll see what happens. Neither of our families has has a wedding in a while, so I am going to assume most people will RSVP yes.

I used http://apracticalwedding.com/spreadsheets/ for the numerous spreadsheets I am creating. I copied and pasted all of the templates into a google doc so I can edit and save online, and they are accessible from anywhere and I can share with anyone.

I also used postable.com for address collection, which has worked out very well -- I've just been sending our link out via Facebook.

I am very jealous of all of you ladies with a) smaller weddings and b) all of your addresses collected! I still have to sift through FMIL's handwritten addresses, since she doesn't use a computer...

semi891 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:92b07596-c3ed-426e-b596-a90d8d15910e">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Wednesday : haha This sounds like us! I really don't understand why my FI needs to invite 26 people from work plus their spouses. Thats 50 freaking people!!!!! I wish he'd just invite the partners & wifes and call it a day! Gah!
Posted by ftrmrsw[/QUOTE]

That's a tough one hey? I was saying to my FI that we could just have all his office people over for dinner another time. They are a great bunch, but we won't have time to really visit with them at the wedding!

Megan1029 · December 2012

Guest list is finished! We are waiting on 4 addresses, but they should be fairly easy to get. Only problem we had was when we went to our grandparents to get the addresses. They kept trying to add more people. We both have huge families and had to draw the line at only aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids if we actually see them often. That put us at a total of 325 with friends and I refuse to invite people we haven't seen in years just because they are family. They understood, luckily. I'm an accountant, so I practically live in Excel. We have a very detailed multitabbed spreadsheet with names, addresses, whether they are receiving STDs, a column for when things were sent, an RSVP column set up to autosum the amount replied and columns for any gifts received and when thank yous were sent. It's saved to mine and FI's shared dropbox folder so we can both access it from anywhere.

BostonGIrl4732 · December 2012

Ahh, my stress level has just gone down like you wouldn't believe. Apparently in my sleep deprived state, I added an extra ten imaginary people when I was counting yesterday. So we don't have to cut a bunch of people. We're up at 168 (possibly 170) and our max is 180. So we should be OK. Sigh of relief... AND we only have to send out 92 invitations. So we can get away with ordering 100.

saundeks · December 2012

Our guest list is far from done! We have had to resort to an A list and B list. I fluctuate about the people on the B list all the time...some of them are close friends whom I haven't seen in years, or coworkers that I see on and off. If weeks go by and I don't speak to these people, I'm ok with them being on the B list, but then I'll run into someone or talk to an old friend on the phone, and think "how could I not invite them?" So, it's my biggest source of stress right now. Likely inviting around 175 and hoping 130 or less will show. Going over the list with my parents over the holidays, as we will be sending out Save-The-Date's in January or February.

On the positive side, I think The Knot's guest list tool seems pretty helpful so far.

semi891 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:4729fa8a-bd8b-449b-b240-4ce5e388aac3">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahh, my stress level has just gone down like you wouldn't believe. Apparently in my sleep deprived state, I added an extra ten imaginary people when I was counting yesterday. So we don't have to cut a bunch of people. We're up at 168 (possibly 170) and our max is 180. So we should be OK. Sigh of relief... AND we only have to send out 92 invitations. So we can get away with ordering 100.
Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

Yay for breathing room!

leatba · December 2012

I carry the guest list wig me everywhere I go. I had to trim from 201. I'm down to 150 which is a comfortable number; however, I would love to have less than that. We still have 31 kids on the list. I'm trying to figure out how to cut some of them.

ncwenze · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:f77c55d9-0a71-4c53-9cbf-a8545dc2aa5d">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Our guest list is far from done! We have had to resort to an A list and B list. I fluctuate about the people on the B list all the time...some of them are close friends whom I haven't seen in years, or coworkers that I see on and off. If weeks go by and I don't speak to these people, I'm ok with them being on the B list, but then I'll run into someone or talk to an old friend on the phone, and think "how could I not invite them?" So, it's my biggest source of stress right now. Likely inviting around 175 and hoping 130 or less will show. Going over the list with my parents over the holidays, as we will be sending out Save-The-Date's in January or February. On the positive side, I think The Knot's guest list tool seems pretty helpful so far.
Posted by saundeks[/QUOTE]

<div>I do the exact same thing. I dont see some friends for like a year, then when i do see them im like oh i love spending time with them. i really want them at our wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>Im just waiting to see how i feel when we send out the invites. that will be the deal breaker</div>

semi891 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_wedding-wednesday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:b89dbbac-3872-42f0-a9e7-6a0ff3e32b4ePost:f77c55d9-0a71-4c53-9cbf-a8545dc2aa5d">Re: Wedding Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Our guest list is far from done! We have had to resort to an A list and B list. I fluctuate about the people on the B list all the time...some of them are close friends whom I haven't seen in years, or coworkers that I see on and off. If weeks go by and I don't speak to these people, I'm ok with them being on the B list, but then I'll run into someone or talk to an old friend on the phone, and think "how could I not invite them?" So, it's my biggest source of stress right now. Likely inviting around 175 and hoping 130 or less will show. Going over the list with my parents over the holidays, as we will be sending out Save-The-Date's in January or February. On the positive side, <strong>I think The Knot's guest list tool seems pretty helpful so far</strong>.
Posted by saundeks[/QUOTE]

I have been using the Knot's guest list tool as well and thinking it was great, but reading on some other boards some posters mentioned having a backup. They said the site can sometimes have glitches. I just printed the list out from the website. :)

CALEO · December 2012

We're at the max! 250!

I gave him a strict 125 and I got a strict 125 and we had to negotiate with our own parents.

Jlp818 · December 2012

UGH. We (I) screwed up on this one. Our venue can only hold 155 max.... We were able to wittle our guest list down to 176. We do have a bunch of out of staters and we do know some of them won't be able to make it. It may be a tight squeeze but we will figure it out.

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