Dress whites or not?

sps14 · July 2012

Hey girls, my fiance and I are planning to get married in 2014 (I know, a long way away and we're still planning lol). He is in the navy and everyone keeps asking him if he's going to wear his uniform and he keeps saying "no." I dont think he wants to because we will both be in white (its a summer wedding, so he'll be in dress whites and not dress blues) and he also said that it'd be a reminder to him of what took him away from me and our son for so long. A couple people are really pushing him to wear his uniform though, but he's pretty adiment about not doing it. Should I leave it be or should I encourage him that even though his training and everything did keep us apart for a while, it also made us lots stronger and has been very good for us?

crownsuperstar · July 2012

I would suggest that you let him decided what to wear. My H wore his because he didn't want to go out and rent a tux. If he does not want to wear it then I would not make him. That is just added stress to wedding planning that is not really needed.

Welcome to the board and good luck planning.

Zimsgirl · July 2012

I agree with Crown. If he doesn't want to I'd just tell people he'd rather wear a tux, suit, etc. My H wore a tux for our wedding. He said he wanted the day to be just about us and not his job. We had little touches of the military in our wedding so maybe you could do little things (if you want to). Good luck and happy planning

kara811 · July 2012

If your FI does not want to wear his uniform then let him. What he wears is really up to him. A lot of people actually don't want to wear their uniforms for their wedding. My H hates wearing his dress uniforms so he didn't.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2012

You get to choose your dress. Let him choose if he wears a tux or his uniform.

CAB1217 · July 2012

In Response to Re:Dress whites or not?:[QUOTE]You get to choose your dress. nbsp;Let him choose if he wears a tux or his uniform. nbsp; Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]
Yup. This

calindi · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_dress-whites-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:62eb0089-8728-445a-8207-504dfba020f4Post:515697eb-7d58-40c7-bfe5-53689a8cd667">Dress whites or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey girls, my fiance and I are planning to get married in 2014 (I know, a long way away and we're still planning lol). He is in the navy and everyone keeps asking him if he's going to wear his uniform and he keeps saying "no." I dont think he wants to because we will both be in white (its a summer wedding, so he'll be in dress whites and not dress blues) and he also said that it'd be a reminder to him of what took him away from me and our son for so long. A couple people are really pushing him to wear his uniform though, but he's pretty adiment about not doing it. Should I leave it be or <strong>should I encourage him that even though his training and everything did keep us apart for a while, it also made us lots stronger and has been very good for us?
</strong>Posted by sps14[/QUOTE]

You should absolutely tell him that you don't resent the Navy for keeping you apart, and that you do think it's good for your relationship. I think these are things that service members can often feel guilty about, and I know that my friend who is just now getting back to his wife after 16 months, and my other friend who missed the first 18 months of his twin boys' lives really felt guilty about it. But hearing that their spouse didn't resent them or the military was a really good reminder for these guys.

That said, let him decide what he wants to wear, and support his decision. There will be people who go, "Oh, why are you wearing a tux? You should wear the uniform!" and he's going to want you to be on his side to say, "Today is about us as a couple, not his career. I will gladly marry him in whatever he wears, and he prefers to wear a tux today."

tyleet87 · July 2012

Absolutely let him decide. I wanted my H to wear a tux but he really wanted to wear his dress blues so he did. Tell everyone that it's none of their business what he wears and if they don't relent then I would tell them you will pick out their outfits.

Kittygrace26 · July 2012

My fiance (an Air Force sergeant) is planning on wearing a suit, rather than his dress uniform, a decision I left entirely up to him. The reason he gave me for making this choice is because on that day he wants to feel like my husband, not like a soldier. I thought this was very sweet and worth sharing- but OF COURSE!! the boys look great in their dress uniforms as well. No matter what he wears, he's going to make a handsome groom.

FutureMrsSS · August 2012

My FI isn't wearing his uniform even though his grandmother keeps telling him he just has to wear his "sailor suit" haha. He does not plan on doing the Navy as a career, so he doesn't want what his work uniform is when we get married to be in pictures we have for life. I really liked calindi's wording for when people make comments.

Also, everyone will have very strong opinions about all parts of your wedding. You just have to do what is right for you and your FI, and let the rest of it roll off your back.

sps14 · August 2012

Thanks everyone for your advice!! I told him of course that I love him and am proud of him for what he does but what he wears is totally up to him. He definitely wants to take pictures in his uniform with me but on the wedding day, he decided he wanted to just wear "civilian wedding attire" as he put it lol. Which is absolutely fine with me! He'll look good in whatever he decides to wear, I just hope most of his family understands his decision.

Dress whites or not?

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