So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?

skinslow66 · September 2011

Just wondering who can give me advice about planning a wedding when the date is floating in the air and you have everything ready to go for whenever he may get back from all the training?? Lol long winded question. All advice is accepted!!

AmandaSC1988 · September 2011

I don’t know which branch of service your FI is in, but I know the Navy you are NOT allowed to get married graduation weekend, and many of the schools that they go to after basic don’t allow spouses to live with them. Everything is so up in the air that first year with A- schools and C- Schools that it would make planning an elaborate wedding nearly impossible.

But if you want a courthouse wedding and no frills, you can get that easily soon after he graduates! No problem! But, try planning with vendors, guests, and the military and you run into conflicts. So if you want a big wedding I would wait a year and then start planning. Good luck.

iluvmytxrgr · September 2011

I would recomend you wait and pick a date after he gets to his first duty station. He'll be able to find out what his training schedule will be and when he may be able to take leave. Any other time is just taking a huge risk that he'll be able to get that time. I wouldn't risk it.

aor9487 · September 2011

I also recommend waiting until he's done with training, at his first duty station and then wait a bit longer. Depending on what branch he's in, after basic training, career specific training, then leaving for the first duty station (wherever that may be)and in processing (and possibly beginning upgrade training), your actual wedding date is hard to put in stone right now. He will need to get the feel of his unit and supervision.

I know I was allowed to take leave before I even finished my upgrade training, however my FI wasn't able to take any leave for another year after me. It depends on where he works and he needs to learn what they're policies are when he gets there. Good luck and HTH!

prettyirishgirl · September 2011

We are having to deal with similar - Fi is going to WOCS and FLt school. It isn't worth trying to find a weekend that he will have off that he can actually leave the area around post. We talked about doing it as soon as class was over within the PCS period he's given, but if there is a delay in graduation or the program gets sped up for whatever reason it could cause huge issues. We decided to wait until he gets to his new duty station which is why we put our date so far out. We talked about it though and thought it would be easier for all involved with multiple wedding party and family as well as FI being military. We thought waiting until about 6 months after he was restationed would give him time with his new unit incase of a deployment and so that he wasn't immediately going there with the i need off now bit. Like PP said if you going to do a JOP then you could do it whenever, but if your planning on a ceremony and dealing with vendors you will want the time which will help (possibly not completely fix though) they possibility of having to move your date. Because if you pic a day before he gets to his new station they could deny leave and you could be stuck in the cold trying to rearrange everything.

Edit Add:
On a planning note I'd say i was a little bummed about having to wait (we both were) but it gives us time to really pick out everything we want. I can do a lot of DIY and have everything be not as stressful and then just book what we want. It has given him time to understand why I want a church wedding. Me time to not pressure him into finding out what he wants and time for us to really learn more about eachother through this process. It also gives us time to save money for the wedding so that we can have more friends and family with us that can't cover travel costs. All the time and annoyance of not being able to get married how we want sooner is overlaped by the fact taht we get everything we want in terms of vendors and as far as having friends there that otherwise couldn't come.

nataliero0924 · September 2011

My FI just enlisted with the AF and we are getting married right before he leaves for basic! I have been SO nervous because not only will we start our forever together, but we will also be starting a completely new life in a new place with nobody that we know! NERVOUSSS!

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Wait until he goes to his first duty station. Then start planning. It's not what you want to hear, but it's really the best way to go.

ShawnaM83 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:3e2a77e6-9866-47b5-a37e-bd510e4b1d62">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI just enlisted with the AF and we are getting married right before he leaves for basic! I have been SO nervous because not only will we start our forever together, but we will also be starting a completely new life in a new place with nobody that we know! NERVOUSSS!
Posted by nataliero0924[/QUOTE]

Does he know what his AFSC is? When you get to his base, have him get the contact info for his squadron or flight's Key Spouse (if they have one). The key spouse for the unit I am in is an angel and it is her role to make sure the other spouses in the unit are notified of what's going on (she usually knows more about the squadron that her husband), she is in constant contact with the commander and she has been a Godsend to our flight during deployments! If they don't have a key spouse, find out where the Airman and Family Readiness Center is or have him ask the First Sergeant for someone you can contact to help you get better acquainted with the area/base/people. Good luck and welcome to the AF family!

amb06h · September 2011

My fiance and I are having a quick courthouse marriage to be legally married, then planning my big white dream wedding for after he gets things settled. He just finished basic training last week and still has about a year and a half of job specific training. This way for all Navy purposes (financial, insurance, being on his orders to be included in the move) we'll be married but we won't miss out on everything else.

good luck with yours!

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:36828963-54f6-4134-9b2f-e600639763df">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are having a quick courthouse marriage to be legally married, then planning my <strong>big white dream wedding</strong> for after he gets things settled. He just finished basic training last week and still has about a year and a half of job specific training. This way for all Navy purposes <strong>(financial, insurance, being on his orders to be included in the move</strong>) we'll be married but we won't miss out on everything else. :) good luck with yours!
Posted by amb06h[/QUOTE]
its a vow renewal. and those are horrible reasons to get married

SamiJoeB · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:36828963-54f6-4134-9b2f-e600639763df">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are having a quick courthouse marriage to be legally married, then planning my big white dream wedding for after he gets things settled. He just finished basic training last week and still has about a year and a half of job specific training. <strong>This way for all Navy purposes (financial, insurance, being on his orders to be included in the move) <u>we'll be married but we won't miss out on everything else</u>. :) good luck with yours!</strong>
Posted by amb06h[/QUOTE]

What is it exactly that you'd be missing out on?

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:2a707937-8a12-45d3-80d2-96d2bfe685a6">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT? : What is it exactly that you'd be missing out on?
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

I second this.

Beachy730 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:2a707937-8a12-45d3-80d2-96d2bfe685a6">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT? : What is it exactly that you'd be missing out on?
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

<div>Clearly the answer is money. </div>

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:64adda7d-73ca-4fb0-a079-7d223577c329">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT? : Clearly the answer is money.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

I agree. I just wish people had enough guts to tell the truth rather than make excuses. Excuses drive me batty.

Beachy730 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_else-marrying-man-still-bct?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:71f6dd35-ee03-4860-bd1d-d8b4884525a0Post:d37e6296-841e-4b8a-868a-cc51075b6339">Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT? : I agree. I just wish people had enough guts to tell the truth rather than make excuses. Excuses drive me batty.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe non-military people are dumb enough to buy those excuses. </div>

ggirl2001 · September 2011

You guessed it ladies. Since H and I got married we are clearly rolling in the dough. I hired a chef and personal maid.

Seriously? What is this extra money? Yes, we have a little bit extra now since rent isn't coming out of my paycheck anymore, but I still have bills to pay.

Also, ditto about the excuses. You want to be married, fine, but stop freaking saying its for the benefits. That's the most ridiculous reason to get married. A friend of mine and H's just got married, JOP and will possibly be planning a vow renewal later. I will gladly attend if they do. They did not lie to anyone, everyone knows about it and they did it because they wanted to be together and loved each other.

LOLways · September 2011

If I was extra motivated (I'm not) and extra snarky (I'm probably plenty snarky enough), and if I kept up with the board enough, I'd make a signature ticker for the # of times someone comes on the MB board and talks about JOPing and then having their PPD/"big white dream wedding"/"real wedding", etc.

So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?

Re: So who else is marrying a man that is still in BCT?

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