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Meeting with officiant

raes19raes19 member
Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
in New York
So Chris and I have a meeting with our church officiant today, and I just realized I have no idea what I'm supposed to talk to him about. This is our first meeting, so is this when we try to get everything figured out? Chris is Catholic, I'm a Methodist-baptized athiest, and we are getting married in a Presbyterian Church. Any advice?
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Re: Meeting with officiant

  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No idea what it would be like w/ anything other than Catholic, since that is what we did.  But I guess my advice would be to just be very honest w/ any questions they ask.  If they do any "getting to know you" type stuff, it isn't to be nosy... it is to try to get a feel for the type of people you are so they can make the ceremony fit you best. 
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  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When we met the first time with our Presbyterian minister, it was pretty informal.  She talked to us about what we wanted in the ceremony, gave us a book of Protestant wedding ceremonies from all religions that is broken down into pieces so we could pick and choose what we wanted, told us she wasn't going to do any sort of pre-cana type stuff unless we specifically wanted her to and then sent us on our merry way.

    Good luck!
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have nothing useful to add other than Good luck!

    We were married by a non-denominational minister and our first meeting was at his house with his wife and 3 kids (under 10) and we bbq'ed and hung out just getting to know each other. We're now fb friends and I think he's great! Haha.

    But definitely just be 100% honest. Last thing you need is for them to back out down the road b/c they didnt know something about you that they arent willing to work with (Im thinking along the lines of you being athiest).

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • raes19raes19 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The athiest thing isn't an issue. They will marry us as long as one of us is Christian. Before they would agree for us to get married there, we had to fill out a paper about our religious beliefs and background.

    I honestly never wanted to get married in a church, but it meant a lot to my mom and this is the same church my parents got married in. I figured that as long as the church would allow it, we would do this for her.
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Aw how sweet of you! I also dreamed of getting married in a certain church but Josh is afraid the church'll catch fire if he walks in and the church I wanted was closed (St Mary's in Jamesville...made headlines b/c we petitioned the Vatican to have it opened) so I got married outside.

    Well, if they know about your religion then have fun!

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • rsfan23rsfan23 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married outside by a Presbyterian minister. My FI isn't so religious, but I'm a pastor's kid, of a Presbyterian minister. I'm not getting married by my dad though. 

    Anyway, our meetings were similar to Sarah's. We went in met with the minister, she asked us a lot of questions, and told us how she does her ceremony. We came back a second time to formalize details and that was it.
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