rehearsal dinner dilemma

Re: rehearsal dinner dilemma

• ney&joel member

  

  April 2011

  YOU guys are the ones getting married!!! YOU both decide!!! Its true, they are paying, but again, its not their wedding!!  

  Joel & Ney

  Report0 Reply
• HYDROPHILE

  

  April 2011

  My parents are paying for our rehearsal dinner and are on a limited budget (we have been working with a GREAT chef at the location though!) We are inviting those persons at the rehearsal and immediate family (we have a small family as does my fiancé) so there will be appx. 30 people at it. 
  
  For out of town guests, we're doing something the day of the wedding (split, of course - aunts, female cousins, etc. with me, the bride and uncles, male cousins, etc. with my fiancé.)  Some of our out of town guests aren't coming to rehearsal, and they are all arriving at different times based on flights, etc.  Some aren't even arriving until the morning of the wedding (our wedding is on a Saturday evening) so we can't exactly invite EVERYONE to rehearsal dinner. 
  
  I think it'd be kind of rude to invite your entire guest list to a rehearsal dinner if your parents are paying for it, and they are on a limited budget, but that's JMHO.
  

  Report0 Reply
• KriisyNrob

  

  April 2011

  I am having the same problem. Except My future FIL invited his whole family because HE lives out of town and doesnt see them much. I felt it shouldnt be a time for a family reunion and have MY family swallowed by all of his. I sent my future MIL a very nice,direct message. I put simply that while etiquitte calls for all out of town..etc,this is about my futue husband and myself and would like to keep it smaller. That while I understand I cannot tell them who to invite if theyre paying It would make us feel like guest to a family function instead of the focus..wich we should be. She completely understood,or pretended to! & now our rehearsal invites are being left to us!! GOOD LUCK!! 

  Report0 Reply
• LSquareGirl member

  

  April 2011

  I think it is likely their call since they are paying for it. 
  
  One idea to make it more fun (and cost-effective) is do to a cocktail reception and not a sit down event.  Standing appetizers and drinks for a set time period.  That's what we're doing since we have 70 for the wedding and all family (45) at the "Family Reception" as ALL are out of town for us as well.
  
  Good luck!

  Report0 Reply
• pryness13

  

  April 2011

  Well......I think that if you are having 100 people at your rehearsal dinner and then only 150 at your wedding what is the point of even having the wedding the next day just invite the other 50 and be done with it. I always thought the rehearsal and dinner was for the wedding party. You know only the people "in" the wedding? Am I wrong or is that old fashion?????/

  ~Live, Laugh, Love~

  Report0 Reply
• Franciscobetts member

  

  April 2011

  I had this dilemma with my rehearsal dinner planning as well, my fiance's family is coming from overseas I have family coming from afar as well.  My wedding is going to be in Banff, Alberta Canada, which is a very expensive resort town.  All venues in Banff have a set price per person around $30 a plate for the rehearsal dinner - and that's on the low end, others were asking up to $75 a plate which is ridiculous to pay the night before the big event. 

  
  

  If you are having your wedding in local area where you live, it would be perfectly fine to invite out of town guest if you were to have a backyard BBQ, or an affordable and casual option.  If it is your grooms family who will be paying and insist on people joining you for dinner, then that's different story.  All the same, this is your wedding and you get to call the shots!

  
  

  We have made the decision that only people involved with the actual rehearsal are invited to join the rehearsal dinner.  However, we are having a time where we are all meeting for cocktails after the dinner with all of our out of town guests so they can feel included and we have more time to visit with them.

  
  

  I hope this long winded response has helped you!  Don't worry about offending anyone, limiting the rehearsal dinner to the bridal party and immediate family is far more traditional and I'm sure will be accepted.

  Report0 Reply
• tat003 member

  

  April 2011

  Personally, I just never understood the necessity of a big RD. The people at the rehearsal are the guests to the dinner. (Which would be your close friends and immediate family.) It's that simple if you ask me. There is no dilemma. Simplify everything the best way you can to avoid as much stress as possible.
  
  Example of how we simplified:
  My family is very down-to-earth and like to cook. My fiance's and mine WANT to cook for us and since I'm having a big fancy reception with all the catering and china and whatnots, my fiance and I decided that our family will just have a big fish fry with some down home cooking and keep it simple. My grandfather is a chef and my uncle, and his grandma would probably raise hell is she didn't get to cook. Everything simplified.
  
  Good luck with everything. I know it'll all work out for the best.

  

  Report0 Reply