taking his last name?

kdlopez1631 · December 2010

My FMIL and I have the same first name and his last name
I want to take his name, but I dont want to have the exact same name as his mother...
I know I can't have it both way - Anyone else have issues with the last name change?

KermitTheKitty · December 2010

Well, you can hyphenate.

I am not taking his last name because up until now, I've always had this last name, and why should I change it? Besides, I really don't like his last name.

Nebb · December 2010

Why dont you want the same name as her?

Steph0871 · December 2010

Do you have the same middle names too?

Jessieleigh316 · December 2010

I have the same first name as FI's sister, but at least she's married already so we won't really have the same name. I don't really see the problem with having the same name as someone else though. I think taking the last name of your husband is something to be really proud of and I can't wait!

Blueyed228 · December 2010

I changed my name on Thursday. It was pretty pain free.

SarahPLiz · December 2010

You could take your last name as a middle name, or hyphenate.

Night_Sprite · December 2010

Change your first name, voila!

kdlopez1631 · December 2010

I like my FMIL, so thats not the issue, idk maybe its because I have always had my name/last name... and not only will i have a "new" name, it will already belong to someone else. I may keep both last names, and we have different middle names

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:859f4bb8-aafd-48cd-9036-3cd2176c99d4">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I like my FMIL, so thats not the issue, idk maybe its because I have always had my name/last name... and not only will i have a "new" name, it will already belong to someone else. I may keep both last names, and we have different middle names
Posted by kdlopez1631[/QUOTE]

Just a side note. We recieved a lot of checks for wedding gifts. They were addresed to Mr. and Mrs. Husband Last Name.

When H went to the bank to deposit them, they would not let him since I was not on the account. I had to change my name to get on the account and deposit the checks.

It may just have been our particular bank but if I didnt change my name it would have been a problem.

Baiscally since the check was written out to Blue Smith and i was still Blue Doe, it wasnt my check to cash.

number55 · December 2010

I haven't gone through the actual mechanics of it yet but I will be changing my name...I am not looking forward to what it is going to cost me but I really want to change my name.

TheCranberry · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:725b5731-db1e-4633-9dd1-0158bbad1471">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: taking his last name? : Just a side note. We recieved a lot of checks for wedding gifts. They were addresed to Mr. and Mrs. Husband Last Name. When H went to the bank to deposit them, they would not let him since I was not on the account. I had to change my name to get on the account and deposit the checks. It may just have been our particular bank but if I didnt change my name it would have been a problem. Baiscally since the check was written out to Blue Smith and i was still Blue Doe, it wasnt my check to cash.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I always wonder about this, and different banks seem to have different policies (at least based on what I've read from ppl on TK).

Why do people write out checks this way? Even if the woman is changing her last name, I always assume it may take some time to get this done so I just make it out to whomever my friend is (the bride or groom) and put "Congratulations" in the memo line. Easier for everyone.

I hope this isn't an issue for us since I'm not changing my name.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:8bbc4811-82bc-4643-9e9a-a01cf1a25ba9">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: taking his last name? : I always wonder about this, and different banks seem to have different policies (at least based on what I've read from ppl on TK). Why do people write out checks this way? Even if the woman is changing her last name, I always assume it may take some time to get this done so I just make it out to whomever my friend is (the bride or groom) and put "Congratulations" in the memo line. Easier for everyone. I hope this isn't an issue for us since I'm not changing my name.
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

I think people do it so that the money goes to both and not just one person?

I know my family and friends write checks so that they know if it was cashed or not. If the card got lost or misplaced its easy to tell.

TheCranberry · December 2010

Yeah, that's probably it Blue. It's probably such a pain for people whose banks have policies like yours.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:4c7d479c-1c1f-4ca3-8f5b-b33f9ffa6ae1">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]Change your first name, voila!
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

Best idea yet!

Blue, we had that problem too, and I didn't change my name but my bank was understanding about it as long as we both signed the checks. I deposited them in person and explained it, so maybe that helped. We still get checks from his family though for H and Beatles Hlastname, over a year after being married. So in that respect, perhaps it IS easier to change your last name.

OP, I've heard varying degrees of the name change stuff being a PITA, but nothing too terrible. I think it's kinda quirky that you'll have the same name as your MIL, but in a funny story kind of way that you can joke about if it ever comes up.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

My name change took 5 min at social security. I hear the DMV is the PITA.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:dd7cdff2-28b6-49d2-973d-2fb73e9ab2fe">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]My name change took 5 min at social security.<strong> I hear the DMV is the PITA.</strong>
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I think this is true regardless of the reason for being there. ;)

impslave · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bc795664-e42c-4fe1-9cce-f6dd52e6a1d1Post:725b5731-db1e-4633-9dd1-0158bbad1471">Re: taking his last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: taking his last name? : Just a side note. We recieved a lot of checks for wedding gifts. They were addresed to Mr. and Mrs. Husband Last Name. When H went to the bank to deposit them, they would not let him since I was not on the account. I had to change my name to get on the account and deposit the checks. It may just have been our particular bank but if I didnt change my name it would have been a problem. Baiscally since the check was written out to Blue Smith and i was still Blue Doe, it wasnt my check to cash.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Guess we were lucky with H's bank. We had a couple of checks made out to Mr. and Mrs. H LastName. Since I didn't change my name, we went to his bank opened a separate savings account by showing them our marriage certificate. We both endorsed the checks and had them deposited.</div><div>
</div><div>Sucks that some institutions have to make things especially difficult.</div>

leayn · December 2010

DON'T HYPHENATE! No offense to anyone who has done this, but I really hate it for some reason.

Funny about the bank comments. My FI had a birthday recently and had some checks he still had to deposit. I am getting a gift for my boss and my coworkers sent me checks for their portion. My FI took my checks to the bank by accident and they deposited them into his account without question. That worries me!

Lenore2010 · December 2010

No WAY was I going to be able to hyphenate my name with his (together they sounded like an exotic illness). Besides, I looked hugely forward to changing my name to his - I just loved the idea and my old name was so hard for people to spell, pronounce, remember.

Changing was easy for me at both SS and the DMV, actually. Just have you certified marriage certificate and your current licence and SS card and you should be good to go. I think people get in trouble because they don;t wait for the certified marriage certificate and try to do it on the thing they got when they filed for the marriage license, or just the uncertified copy with the witness and officiant signatures you get before it is actually filed with the court. The DMV's will not accept that, generally or they have 100 questions.

aprovencher21 · December 2010

I have mixed emotions about changing my name. It really means a lot to him and I want our kids and I to have to same last name (that just says family unit to me)....but I've always had my name and I just expect it might feel strange. I'll get over it and I entirely plan on changing my name legally just not till we take our honeymoon in March since the plane tickets are in my maiden name......and I'm not in the mood to deal with airlines anymore if ever. I'm also finicky and it bothers me that my new last name won't match my name on my undergrad or MBA diplomas.

katiewhompus · December 2010

Blue, I ran into the same problem. Anything that had "Kristi married" had to be deposited after I changed my name. I also then ran into trouble when my mom accidently wrote Kristi Maidenname on a check a year after the wedding (just absentmindedly). My bank refused to cash it even though I had banked with them as Kristi Maidenname for 4 years and they still had my maiden name on their records as "other names".

I was thrilled to change my last name. My maiden isn't difficult to spell or pronounce but people butcher it like mad. My married name is nice and easy.

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