June 2012 Weddings

Anyone else sad about their name change?

My FI and I went to get our marriage license on Friday. I have an unusual Swiss last name, and my entire life I have been looking forward to getting rid of it and going with a more easily pronouncable one. I have always known that I wanted to take my husband's last name when I got married, but I wasn't sure exactly how I would do it. I had spoken with my parents previously, who suggested that I lose the last name as well. I even asked my mom if it would be okay with her for me to drop my middle name (Renee) and replace it with my current last name. She told me not to, and not to just add my last name in there as a second middle name. At the time, I agreed.

However, when it came time to write my new name on the license application, I got freaked out! I almost cried as I removed my last name from my existence beginning June 23. :( I think I will get used to it, but I'm wondering if I made a mistake by just taking it out entirely.

Did anyone else feel this way about their name change? 

Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?

  • I didn't have to decide on my name when we got our license but I am dropping my last name and keeping my current middle name. Once I decided that I did feel a little sad. My parents said they didn't care which made it easier but it is part of who I've beenfir 26 years. Plus, as a teacher I head Ms. Currentlastname all day so I'm used to it. It will take some time to get used to but I'm sure it will be okay.
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  • nope! I'm excited to change my last name to his =)
  • I don't have any sort of problem with changing my name and never thought once that I wouldn't change it or that I would make my maiden name my second middle name. I'm excited to take his name. While my maiden name is the past and growing up, I have the present and future to look forward to and know that someday we'll have kidlets with all matching last names. My sister had a different last name (same mom, diff dads) and she always felt out of the family. I know it's just a name, but to some it means a lot.
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  • daria24daria24 member
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    I'm not changing my name, so I'm not having any issues. Except constantly correcting vendors when they automatically refer to us as "Mr & Mrs. HisLastName."
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  • I'll be a little sad to no longer have the same name as my parents, but I'm more excited to take on his name and be his wife!
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  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-sad-about-their-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:333c6d27-b65b-46d2-a181-d5d0255c0328Post:cb8315c3-5e3e-43a6-85f7-d90799b7bff0">Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not changing my name, so I'm not having any issues. Except constantly correcting vendors when they automatically refer to us as "Mr & Mrs. HisLastName."
    Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

    This.  Only I'm already getting mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. HisLastName.  Um, that's not my name.  Nor will it be after the wedding.

  • I'm a bit sad about changing my last name.  I think it's only natural, seeing as it's been who you are for x-amount of years.  

    I said this earlier, but I teach also, and I have no problem if my students slip and call me by my soon-to-be-maiden name.  :)

    And for what it's worth, my dad passed away, so giving up my last name feels difficult in another way too.  But I am happy to be a part of fiance's family, AND to have my fiance be an official part of mine.
  • I can't WAIT to change my name!!!! I kept my ex husband's last name when i got divorced because it was my son's last name and it was easier for dr appointments and school and stuff. But now i'm SO ready to get rid of it and take on FI's last name!
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  • abungerabunger member
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    I had a really really tough time with the idea of changing my name. (I am not changing it) Professionally, I've established a track record for myself with my name so it would be harmful to change. But I feel like its more than that for me - there's real fear of losing my identity through all of this. This probably sounds stupid, but I think I would be flipping out way more right now if I was changing my name.
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  • I'm sad about losing my last name. To be honest, I'm still not 100% positive I'm going to do it.  I like having a last name that's a bit different.  I'm a teacher too, so I think it would take a very long time before I will immediately respond to a different name.
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  • I'm still a little torn on the issue. My FFIL advised me not to completely lose my last name. He is into genealogy and he knows how difficult it is to trace people back if their last name completely disappears. I'm thinking about making my last name my middle name. Still not sure at all. My Fi has been great in supporting whatever choice I make. We actually talked about using my last name as our future children's middle names, which really works with my last name. 
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  • Growing up, I always joked about getting rid of my last name.  Then, I got married in 2006, changed it.  As things went sour in that relationship, I resented having his name so much. I hated being Mrs. Exname. It was very difficult for me!  The happiest day ever was when I got to change my name back on everything.

    I teach, too, so for the last 4 years, I have been Miss Maiden and have truly loved that!  In fact, because of my super long last name, I am mostly called by the initial, especially by coworkers who call me almost exclusively by that initial.

    Now, I am engaged to FI.  I love him so much.. we teach at the same school and it's awesome.  I have bounced back and forth with this forever, but I think I've finally decided on becoming Tara Maiden FIname. So I'll be Mrs. FIname at school.  So many of my students already know me though, so I I almost kinda hope they'll keep calling me by Miss Maiden or Miss M.  I think it will help ease the transition for me.  Haha.

    I think I will ultimately be happy with my decision because this way, the name will not be too terribly clunky and I will share it with my future children, but I also keep a piece of my old name too!
  • I am totally ready to change my name. I am counting down the days until I get rid of my old life.

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  • I really want to take FI's last name and am changing my name when we get married, but I'm sad that I think my family name may die out because of it. At least in our immediate branch of the family, my dad, for having 4 brothers... I only have 1 male cousin. I just keep thinking the chance of my maiden name staying "alive" through this branch of the family is slim. It makes me sad.

    But then I think there are other branches of the family. My grandpa had 15 siblings. I have a bajillion 2nd and 3rd cousins that share my name, so that makes me feel better.

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  • I am a little sad about it too, which is why I haven't gotten my marriage license yet!  LOL  I always wanted to take my husband's name when I got married, but now that the time has come, I'm sad.  FI said he's fine with me keeping my name, but I don't want to.  I thought about dropping my middle name, but that is part of me too, plus my nickname stems from my middle name and that is what my family calls me.  I think I am going to add my maiden name to my middle name.  Then I get to keep all my names. But not 100% sure yet.  If I don't go with that option, I'll just drop it.  : (
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  • I am having seperation anxiety about losing my last name. I love my maiden name! My soon to be husbands last name is pretty normal so I am not hesitant but it is just sad that I will be giving up the name I have gone by my entire life.

    I would not consider changing my middle name though because I think it is just a little odd when people have a middle name's that were last names.

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    06.09.2012

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-sad-about-their-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:333c6d27-b65b-46d2-a181-d5d0255c0328Post:bf3a5343-ae1c-497e-b33a-a8ed0ef26921">Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll be a little sad to no longer have the same name as my parents, but I'm more excited to take on his name and be his wife!
    Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]

    This!
  • I'm changing my last name to my FI's and just leaving my first and middle as is; I'm really excited about it too. 

    I'm not really close to my parents, especially my dad, and I don't really have any ties to my last name that can't simply be addressed on my CV as *previously ________.  Really, all my science stuff isn't with my legal last name (my name is way too common to stand out) so it doesn't matter any way.
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  • I am -- I really don't care for what my married name will be!  Plus, I live in a town where your name means a lot -- in my professional career, I've worked really hard at getting my name to be associated with the things that I do.  I'm "out" a lot networking and such!  I don't talk to my biological dad -- but that doesnt' mean I don't like my current name!

    Plus -- everyone laughs when they hear my married name -- it's very "southern bell" sounding -- and that is one thing I am not!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-sad-about-their-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:333c6d27-b65b-46d2-a181-d5d0255c0328Post:491296f0-6878-48d2-9303-ba37fc7e6be5">Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I like having a last name that's a bit different.  Posted by lindseyann410[/QUOTE]

    I'm feeling the same way. I'm going to miss being able to tell people I'm half Swiss when they ask about my last name.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-sad-about-their-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:333c6d27-b65b-46d2-a181-d5d0255c0328Post:70e4f25c-9640-4452-8270-efef8d3c05fa">Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm still a little torn on the issue. My FFIL advised me not to completely lose my last name. He is into genealogy and he knows how difficult it is to trace people back if their last name completely disappears. I'm thinking about making my last name my middle name. Still not sure at all. My Fi has been great in supporting whatever choice I make. We actually talked about using my last name as our future children's middle names, which really works with my last name. 
    Posted by HarperBargo[/QUOTE]

    I wish I had thought of that before I signed the sheet. My grandfather is really into genealogy as well, so now it will be tougher for me to be linked to them. I wonder if I can call and have the license remade including my maiden name...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-sad-about-their-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:333c6d27-b65b-46d2-a181-d5d0255c0328Post:cb8315c3-5e3e-43a6-85f7-d90799b7bff0">Re: Anyone else sad about their name change?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not changing my name, so I'm not having any issues. Except constantly correcting vendors when they automatically refer to us as "Mr & Mrs. HisLastName."
    Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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