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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Why can't I have a decent family?

I posted about this before in snarky brides but I really do not know what to do at this point. We are having a themed wedding and suggested (explained that ANYTHING the guests wear is absolutely perfectly fine with us as we realize times are tough and people are facing financial strain so for all we care people are more than welcome to come in a t-shirt and jeans) that if our guests wanted to participate they could by purchasing CHEAP costumes from places like party city/spirit halloween. Well my parents, both my mother and stepfather have insisted in being in the procession with us even though we are by no means doing a traditional wedding. We finally gave in and decided to do the typical walk down the isle in order to make them happy. I explained to my parents though that if they absolutely needed to be on the stage with my fiance and I, I'd like them to be in costume. Last April I bought my mother a dress that matched our theme for almost 300 dollars (She insisted on this dress I did not suggest it!). Well she agreed to it until I put down the money and then returned the dress. I begged her for the last 5 months to find a different outfit and I'd pay whatever the cost. Now that we're down to the wire and I have 4 weeks until the wedding she is calling and insisting that I buy not only her outfit but my sisters and stepfathers as well. I explained that since I am paying for the entire wedding I cannot afford to buy her another dress for 300 on top of paying for my sisters outfit and my stepfathers and that at this point we'd  be fine with them wearing whatever is available in their closet. My mother is relentless though and is not only insisting we buy them coordinating themed outfits but they cannot be "too cheap or a silly halloween costume!" she is demanding that my fiance and I purchase a high-quality costume for her, my sister, and my stepfather and has sent us links that total up to 500+ dollars...She has thrown a complete hissy-fit and has left numerous voicemails that she will not come to our wedding unless we meet her demands... I want my mother there but at this point I feel like I am having to literally PAY for their attendence.. 

Re: Why can't I have a decent family?

  • FutureMrsS13FutureMrsS13 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it is ridiculous how she expect you to pay for costumes when your ok with them wearing anything . I am honestly in shock a mother could expect their child to spend that kind of money and buy ur sib and step fathers also. I would personally stick to your gun! That is aweful . I'm so sorry your in this situation.if you haven't already tell her you want her there (like u mentioned above) but can't afford it . That's a hard situation. But it makes me sad that a mother would expect this out of a child. Esp if they are not even paying for your wedding! :/.
  • edited December 2011
    Your mother is being ridiculous... but you helped to push her there by having a themed wedding.  That is asking a lot of your guests if they do not have extra cash rolling around. 

    I hate theme parties for that reason.  I really do not want to have to go out and buy something silly to wear (that I will never wear again) just so I can celebrate an occasion with friends. 
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  • MissdysphoriaMissdysphoria member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well our wedding is in October and we've told our guests that ANY costumes are absolutely fine since its so close to halloween and again we stressed that our wedding is about HAVING FUN not wasting money. We absolutely do not want people purchasing expensive clothes that like you said they would not ever wear again. And honestly it is the same situation whether or not we did a themed wedding. WE've been asked multiple times if it is a black tie affair etc which again forces people to buy expensive clothing and most of the time is a requirement!
  • edited December 2011
    If your mom is going to be a bitch about YOUR day she doesn't need to be in it.  I'd just send her the invite, if you want her there, and not discuss anything wedding related with her.  I'm apart of a board that deals with family issues if you want a link to it.  
  • edited December 2011
    At this point, I wouldn't buy her a costume at all. You've told her to wear whatever she has, and I would stick with that. I cannot believe your mother is acting that way, it sounds like what a 5 year old would do. I am so sorry you're having to go through this, especially so close to your wedding. I hope it all works out for you!
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_cant-decent-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:7a5556d7-8592-4529-a60d-4b8126aea052Post:1a2babe2-1db9-4256-acb0-18f541f45580">Re: Why can't I have a decent family?</a>:
    [QUOTE]At this point, I wouldn't buy her a costume at all. You've told her to wear whatever she has, and I would stick with that. I cannot believe your mother is acting that way, it sounds like what a 5 year old would do. I am so sorry you're having to go through this, especially so close to your wedding. I hope it all works out for you!
    Posted by FutureMrsSheeler[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.

    And just for the record...it's aisle.  Not isle.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • edited December 2011
    I haven't the foggiest clue if this is expensive or not, but what about renting costumes?  http://www.twincitiesmagic.com/
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