Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?

AshDreamer · June 2012

I can't believe how much more excited I am about this wedding then I was my first!

My first wedding my ex wanted to run the whole show. I didn't get much say in the wedding so I didn't even have fun planning it...

This wedding the fiance is asking me for feedback about his choices, asking me what's important to me about a wedding, and we've just been having a blast planning it together and I'm getting REALLY excited about it!

Is anyone else more excited about this wedding??

20pearls16 · June 2012

I am because I am older and less stressed! When I got married the first time I was graduating, starting a new job and getting married all in the same month. This time it is a breeze.

annie912 · June 2012

I don't have the same sense of dread that I did with the first one, if that's what you mean.

In a lot of ways, the first one was easier. I'm still (less than three months out) struggling with the old-fashioned notion that a second marriage should start at a courthouse, with me in an ivory suit and be a low-key event. The first time around there was the "you're a bride, you can have whatever you want" attitude from friends and family. Now there's the "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" Not that anyone has put it quite that bluntly, but it's popped up a few times.

I am much more excited about this marriage, and I think that's the important part. I found a true partner. This will not be the "best day of our lives". If it is, then we did something wrong. It's an important event, but hopefully we have many far happier days ahead of us.

boaznruth · June 2012

I am. My first one, I was still at a point in my life where any little thing sent me into a tailspin. I was so worried about what everyone else thought that I second-guessed every little thing. Would my MIL like these bows? Are they too poofy? Will people think the cake is too plain? Yeah, I haven't seen this person since I was 5, but if I don't invite them, will my second-cousin twice removed be offended? Looking back now, I find it humorous how much I let things get to me!

This time around, I feel like I know myself better. I know FI better and he knows himself. We're paying for everything ourselves and don't feel like we have to invite people out of obligation. Instead, we're having a small wedding that is uniquely us. We're having only our closest friends and family there, the people who geninuinely want to celebrate with us. We're not planning anything overly formal or stressful and we're focused more on the years after than just on this one day.

So yeah...I am more excited about this wedding! I don't have the same kind of anxiety over whether everything will be perfect or not. In fact, I'm not even worried if it will rain. If it does, we'll just have our small ceremony inside our home and it will make for an interesting story.

I can' t imagine me able to have had that attitude last time around. I wish I'd been that mature back then, but then I probably wouldn't have learned everything I did.

AshDreamer · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_anyone-else-more-excited-about-their-second-wedding-then-their-first-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:117f6499-fa5e-4a70-9fa5-d09c767ee42bPost:b2adb94c-46ae-47de-bf23-09e521e28ead">Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am because I am older and less stressed! When I got married the first time I was graduating, starting a new job and getting married all in the same month. This time it is a breeze.
Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

Yeah mine is definitely less stressful as well, I consider my first marriage my, "Practice Marriage," hahaha.

Stormz · June 2012

I am busting at the seams in excitement.

We have decided not to tell anyone what our plans are until we have everything mostly planned so we avoid all the pushiness of both our families.

I have the worry about this being my second wedding, but I am so much happier this time around. And my family seems to support my relationship with N. I also have it already ok in my mind if people are not happy for us, because I am happy.

My first marriage was an abusive trainwreck that should have never happened. It lasted less than 5 months and I didnt feel like I was married.

But this time, I am happy with my decision.

AshDreamer · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_anyone-else-more-excited-about-their-second-wedding-then-their-first-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:117f6499-fa5e-4a70-9fa5-d09c767ee42bPost:650cd310-acfe-4520-b67c-a2c1e3e916bd">Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have the same sense of dread that I did with the first one, if that's what you mean. In a lot of ways, the first one was easier. I'm still (less than three months out) struggling with the old-fashioned notion that a second marriage should start at a courthouse, with me in an ivory suit and be a low-key event. The first time around there was the "you're a bride, you can have whatever you want" attitude from friends and family. Now there's the "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" Not that anyone has put it quite that bluntly, but it's popped up a few times. I am much more excited about this marriage, and I think that's the important part. I found a true partner. This will not be the "best day of our lives". If it is, then we did something wrong. It's an important event, but hopefully we have many far happier days ahead of us.
Posted by annie912[/QUOTE]

All that matters is that you found an amazing guy that treats you well! You don't need to worry about the people that think, "aren't you afraid this one is going to fail too?" They are just jealous at your happiness...

AshDreamer · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_anyone-else-more-excited-about-their-second-wedding-then-their-first-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:117f6499-fa5e-4a70-9fa5-d09c767ee42bPost:9befa0d3-a4d6-4079-9aa5-b8f39dc9b492">Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am. My first one, I was still at a point in my life where any little thing sent me into a tailspin. I was so worried about what everyone else thought that I second-guessed every little thing. Would my MIL like these bows? Are they too poofy? Will people think the cake is too plain? Yeah, I haven't seen this person since I was 5, but if I don't invite them, will my second-cousin twice removed be offended? Looking back now, I find it humorous how much I let things get to me! :) This time around, I feel like I know myself better. I know FI better and he knows himself. We're paying for everything ourselves and don't feel like we have to invite people out of obligation. Instead, we're having a small wedding that is uniquely us. We're having only our closest friends and family there, the people who geninuinely want to celebrate with us. We're not planning anything overly formal or stressful and we're focused more on the years after than just on this one day. So yeah...I am more excited about this wedding! I don't have the same kind of anxiety over whether everything will be perfect or not. In fact, I'm not even worried if it will rain. If it does, we'll just have our small ceremony inside our home and it will make for an interesting story. :) I can' t imagine me able to have had that attitude last time around. I wish I'd been that mature back then, but then I probably wouldn't have learned everything I did.
Posted by boaznruth[/QUOTE]

I love your attitude! I think you'll have a lot more fun at this wedding then worrying about bows hahaha.

adent1019 · June 2012

I am most def. More excited about my second time around. My first wedding was a disaster and very stressful. I also did not have much say bc my ex's mom planned most of it on our dime.

I seem to be more happy and more in love this time around. I love the feeling I get when I think about us and going through the plans. The only problem I have ran into so far is that my family is more conservative then Mikes and the alcohol issue is going to be stressful. But it all boils down to us and that is all I am concerened about this time around. I am no longer pleasing anyone but US. and I am as happy as ever.

dewingedpixie · June 2012

My first wedding was 8 months pregnant at a court house on a freight train ready to derail because i wanted to do the right thing for my daughter. It ended up being the wrong thing for me, her father and her.

This time I'm happy in love and cant wait! I have a real wedding to plan. Suprisingly everyone is very supportive of us having a big wedding. I think its probably because we did our weddings backwards, and we're so unique the fact that we found each other has really suprised people around us. I'm so happy and excited, I'm not worried about I have to do this for my child.

PopPow · June 2012

I am SO excited. I'm getting to plan a real wedding not a quicky 500.00 wedding in a friends backyard but the whole she-bang with a formal dress, a photographer and a dj. Both my FI and I had almost non-exsistant 1st weddings so this is so much fun. I can not wait to be his wife. As we often say "we deserve each other".

Lisa50 · June 2012

Isn't everyone more excited about their second wedding?? I certainly was.

InfinityWings · June 2012

First wedding I was so stressed, and did almost all of it myself. And I think I dreaded the whole thing, think I knew inside I really didn't want to marry him. Why didn't I listen to my gut?

Second was a simple handfasting...no planning.

This wedding is special, I have a partner who cares as much about the day as I do. And I am so much calmer, even though this wedding will be the biggest and fanciest.

timsflower81 · June 2012

My first wedding was seriously the worst day of my life. I never cried so many unhappy tears in my life..... It was a huge mistake which I was pretty much in denial about like 2 weeks before the wedding. My mom pretty much planned the whole thing and it was the cheesiest wedding ever. It was totally not my style with 150 guests to witness the awfulness.

Second time around... I KNOW that I have found the perfect guy for me, we are planning everything together, paying for everything ourselves and have nothing but excitement for our day. It will have 7 guests in a beautiful place, with an amazing private dinner complete with limo ride. This wedding is about our life together, and despite what others "think" we should do, we are doing what we want and our day will be perfect.

ceceibson · June 2012

I am way more excited this time around which is my...uh...fourth wedding. Wedding No. 1 my mother planned and paid for. I did what she told me to do. The marriage ended 2 years later when my husband ran off with his boss's secretary.

Wedding No. 2 I planned and paid for. MIL was a bit of a pain, but no big issues, really. The marriage ended in divorce after 10 years.

A year later, I remarried my second husband and cared for him until he died of cancer 3 years ago.

This time, I am doing what WE and our chilldren and grandchildren want. There's no bridesmaid drama. My only attendant is my daughter. No parent drama, either. FI's are long gone, my father is too ill to travel, Mom can't wait to cut loose.

I have this great warm and fuzzy feeling, that all of our friends and family are genuinely happy for us to have found our happiness after some really sad years for both of us.

I'm a little stressed about paying for everything but if I got off The Knot and got to work, the stress would probably go away, LOL.

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

I am so much more excited about this wedding than I was my first. I was too inmature to marry my ex and wasn't wiling to admit it at the time. It ended up hurting me, my ex who is a good man, just not the one for me and our daughter.

My FI is wonderful, thoughtful and kind. I can't imagine not having him in my life and I can't wait to celebrate our happiness.

This wedding is the total opposite of my first. It's something we are paying for ourselves (well he is since I am a SAHM and a student) and suits our personalities to a T.

handfast4me · June 2012

I'm the outlier here, but that's not unusual in my life. I was really excited about the first one, but my first husband suffered a head injury just after our 5 year anniversary mark--changed his personality, and our marriage. It was like I woke up one morning with a different husband, except I didn't get to choose this time, and frankly, this was NOT what I bargained for. After 12 years of trying to make it work, we parted amicably.

My second wedding was a lot smaller (and, for those of you, like POPPow, that a big wedding=a real wedding, it does NOT), on the beach, just the two of us. The ceremony itself was a lot more meaningful to me, as I wasn't trying to fit myself into a religion that I didn't really identify with. And have I mentioned that my identity was stolen and I found out by going to the bank on my wedding day to find all my accounts had been emptied? Yep, good times, good times.

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_anyone-else-more-excited-about-their-second-wedding-then-their-first-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:117f6499-fa5e-4a70-9fa5-d09c767ee42bPost:4f9b40f5-f6ce-49c2-a1f8-1536decf02fe">Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm the outlier here, but that's not unusual in my life. I was really excited about the first one, but my first husband suffered a head injury just after our 5 year anniversary mark--changed his personality, and our marriage. It was like I woke up one morning with a different husband, except I didn't get to choose this time, and frankly, this was NOT what I bargained for. After 12 years of trying to make it work, we parted amicably. My second wedding was a lot smaller (and, for those of you, like POPPow, that a big wedding=a real wedding, it does NOT), on the beach, just the two of us. The ceremony itself was a lot more meaningful to me, as I wasn't trying to fit myself into a religion that I didn't really identify with. <strong>And have I mentioned that my identity was stolen and I found out by going to the bank on my wedding day to find all my accounts had been emptied? Yep, good times, good times. </strong>
Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That sucks, Hand! </div><div>
</div><div>I wanted a small wedding, but FI has never been married and wanted a traditional Catholic wedding. So that's what we are going with, otherwise I wanted to do something on Lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans, where we both grew up.</div><div>
</div><div>I think that small, intimate weddings are beautiful.

</div>

BeachBride1216 · June 2012

My FI actually decided to plan the exact wedding I wanted the first time I got married so I am beyond excited. I love that he figured this out on his own and had no idea it was what I really wanted. The last time I got vetoed by the now ex-husband because it was "too much work" to plan a beach house wedding and reception. We ended up having an Italian style wedding just like he wanted.

jyoung630 · June 2012

Without a doubt! My first wedding I was so stressed out that I couldn't loook forward to it or enjoy it. i felt the need to micromanage the day since everything else felt so out of control. I should have listened to my gut and not gone through with it.

This time, I have no stress about it at all. We are both very excited about this - counting days until we are husband and wife - FINALLY! The wedding itself is done. All that is left is for us to show up on the big day. (I tried on my wedding gown yesterday!!)

SsassyJ11 · June 2012

Yes!!!!! I feel like a kid again, though I'm 36 with 3 kids (my FI is 46 w/2 kids). We both do. We have finally found our soulmate, other half, true love, etc. Both of our first marriages were to EXTREMELY controlling and/or abusive partners. This time around I feel free to do things the way I want, with the man of my dreams providing feedback, help, info, and knowing me almost better than I know myself. I am walking around glowing, and everyone comments on it! I am sooo excited to become his wife.

nahyeera_1 · July 2012

I am because I am so much more mature this time. It's less stress because I know what to do this time & I have so much more help from my family because they like my FI more than my ex...

StevieSquaw · July 2012

Totally! I am marrying a fantastic guy this time around and am blessed. First time was at Graceland Capel in Vegas (No Elvis!). His first time was at a JP. This time around, we want the whole shebang...with changes. If we don't want to observe a certain "rule", we don't. We're paying cash for the whole wedding nad finding ourselves having to trim now, as FI lost his job 5 weeks ago and we're 90 days out (when you have to start paying the final balances for some verndors). Yikes. And you know what? I'm shocked i'm not stressed out. But I do need input from ya'll and I'll post that in a separate post. Bottom line...being more mature, I think, gives you more independence in how you think your wedding should be.

Bride of 2012 · November 2012

Yes, my first wedding taking a great stressful toll on me and I was not excited as I walked down the isle. However, this will be my second marriage, I'am starting develop nervous(butterflies) like crazy. I'm like super excited! Oh my gosh I almost feel like the runnaway bride in a a good sense! Wow grining from ear to ear.

Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?

Re: Anyone else more excited about their second wedding then their first wedding?

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