We just had a meeting with our Pastor to start our 6 premarriage counseling sessions. I come from a Catholic family and him a Luthern. We both grew up attending church, stopped going in HS/College and we reintroduced to our faith a year ago. We found a Christian church we love and can both relate to, especially since we don't have to choose to go Catholic or Luthern. That being said, we live together and bought a house together last fall. Neither one of us are virgins. We got an email from our Paster today with an Agreement we have to sign and return before we start our sessions. Mostly everything is ok with the execption of 2: We have to remain abstinent until we are married and 2 we have to agree to tithe to the Church. FI and I are in the grey on these...We are in a loving commited relationship and don't necessarly agree with abstinance, especially considering we aren't virgins anyways. We see it as we are 2 responsible, adults who aren't doing it for the wrong reasons and use it as a way to communicate or love for each other. As far as the titheing goes our Church defines that as 10% of our income. While we do attend Church weekly and give back every week, we don't make very much to begin with and we are trying to save as much as possible right now to pay for our wedding...10% for both of us is a little steep.
We need to send this back, I'm just not sure how to respond...I don't want to be unthruthful, but it's really important to us that we do get married in this Church by our Pastor.