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Do I have to have a maid of honor?

linzandjer11linzandjer11
in Wedding Party
I have two younger sisters who I love, but both admit that they are too young to be the maid of honor. I have an older cousin who will be a bridesmaid, but she is alot older than I am, but doesn't know me as well as my friends or sisters do. I also have two friends who I am equally close to and would be hurt if I asked the other to be the maid of honor. I've also been getting close to my fiance's sister for the past year, but I feel like it would be a little bit strange to ask her to my maid of honor. 
My solution to the dilemma was to just eliminate the title and distribute the responsibilities to all of the bridesmaids. My fiance is going to ask his brother to be the best man, and wants me to have a maid of honor to match. There are an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids, so it is balanced.  
My question is: Can I get away with not having a maid of honor?
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Re: Do I have to have a maid of honor?

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2010
    No, the wedding police will bust up the wedding before you can say "I Do" if they find out you have no MOH ;)

    My BFF is not having a MOH; she said she didn't want to choose between us.  No love lost.  Just ask them to be BMs and if they ask who is MOH, just say, "I love you all too much to choose between you so I won't have one."
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    Which responsibilities will you assign, and how will you assign them for your wedding party?

    You don't need to have a MOH, no.  Lots of people have not gone that route, and it's been fine.

    Your "sides" do not have to be even.
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  • bdulli13bdulli13 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Since the only "duties" required of bridesmaids and maids of honor are showing up sober, in the dress, and standing next to you at the alter, eliminating the MOH position is just fine, and a good solution to avoid hurt feelings.

    Enjoy.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, you don't have to have a MOH.  You don't have to have a WP at all.  You don't have to have a big white dress.  You don't have to carry flowers.  You don't have to do much of the what the wedding magazines, tv shows, and websites will try to convince you that you "have to have".

    You need a bride, a groom, a license, and an officiant, and in some states, a witness.

    Tell your FI you love him with all your heart, but you'll pick your WP and he can pick his.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, you don't have to have a MOH. And it doesn't matter if the sides are even or not, since that is not a requirement either.

    If, by "dividing up responsibilities," you are talking about designating one girl to hold your flowers during the vows, one girl to walk with the Best Man, one girl to sign the license as the witness, one girl to give a toast ... that stuff is fine. Divvy away.

    If you are talking about the stuff on wedding websites and magazines (throw you a shower/bachelorette party, coordinate the bridesmaids' dress shopping trips and measurements, help with planning, etc.) - that is not their responsibility. If they want to help out with this stuff, or throw you a party, they will volunteer. If not, then they won't, and giving them the MOH title won't automatically make them responsible for it, or make them eager to do it.

    MOH should be your closest friend(s). It's fine to have two if you wish. So there's really no reason why your younger sisters couldn't be the Maids of Honor. If they're under 18, you can just ask an older bridesmaid (or a parent) to sign the license since you need someone 18+ to do that.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The only "issue" with having a younger MOH is that she traditionally signs the license, which only a legal adult can do.  However:

    1) Any adult who witnessed the ceremony can do this
    2) Some states/counties require only one witness, and some none at all.

    So it's not really an issue because it can be sorted out in about thirty seconds.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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