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Getting in Shape
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Really? Thanks sister!

AndreaCataAndreaCata
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Getting in Shape
Hey ladies,

So this is my frustration of the week (although its been going on for awhile now.) My one and only sister (who is also my MOH) is so unsupportive of my quest to get fit.

Latest example: We were texting about a dress she found online for me and told me I should order it now to see if I like it (wedding is next summer!!) and I told her I hope to be thinner by the time my wedding rolls around. Her response:

"You are already SO thin...what do you want to be, a size 2??"

FIRST of all...I am not SO thin (5'8" 177lbs!!) Yes, I've lost 50lbs. so I am -thinner- than I was but it irritates me that not only is she completely unsupportive but she also implies that I am unrealistic and don't need to loose any more weight (and I know I do...not just to look good, but for my health!!)

I know where her negativity stems from...she is bigger than me and has put on even more weight lately so I know she is feeling bad about herself...and I am younger and engaged and she is single (not to sound arrogant...but based on her actions I think this makes sense...her response to me being engaged was "OMG, I can't believe you are getting married before me." Lame, I know)

Anyway, I LOVE her, she is my ONLY sister...and my MOH...I just don't know how to deal with her...especially once I do start trying on dresses and other stuff...I don't want a negative nancy around!!!

Any advice is welcome...and I just wanted to vent too. Thanks for reading!
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Re: Really? Thanks sister!

  • Lobsters25Lobsters25 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I can't relate because that would be a very weird conversation with my brother, but I do understand how you feel judged for wanting to shed a few pounds.  In these situations, I really try to simply watch my wording - either to avoid the issue or not make the other person feel insecure if they aren't concerned about healthy/weight (not that they should at all be impacted by what someone else is doing!)

    Can you avoid the subject with her - and just tell her you aren't ready to buy yet?  Or, how about referring to it as 'toning up,' or 'simply trying to eat a bit healthier,' rather than say things like 'I want to lose weight' or 'I need to diet.'

    Sorry you have to deal with this! Good luck and have fun dress shopping!
    Anniversary
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  • maribeth721maribeth721
    500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I don't have a sister, but I know what you mean. Like Lobsters said, it's usually the person is insecure with their own self and not that they don't support what you're trying to do. Also, if like you mentioned the person is heavier than you, it may be a reality check they aren't ready to face yet. I wouldn't look at it as unsupportive.

    Sometimes I think people believe if they agree with you about wanting to lose weight they will crush you and you will run away crying or something. I don't get it. Before I lost weight and first verbalized my weight loss goal, I got the standard, "oh no way do you need to lose weight." Yeah right. It's like no one will admit to you that you needed to do that - even though you are ok with accepting it. No one will EVER tell you what they really think. It's this weird phobia we all have in society, telling someone they need to lose weight or just simply agree with them about wanting to lose weight.
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  • dawnp917dawnp917
    500 Comments
    Some people can have an unhealthy obsession with losing weight and will think they are are overweight when they aren't.   It doesn't sound like you are in that camp.  I am lucky in that my sisters are supportive of my quest to lose weight.  Not everybody is going to be supportive just do what you feel you need to.  If she isn't supportive don't bring up the topic with her.   If you need support come here. 

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  • AndreaCataAndreaCata
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks for the advice and tips ladies :)
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  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I hear ya. My brother calls me Skeletor, which is hurtful. I recently achieved something near my old high school cross country weight while training for a marathon. I'm 5'4-5'5, size 4, after losing 30 lbs. I'm not skeletal in any way. I eat healthily (just chowed down on some chocolate zucchini bread for breakfast). It's frustrating.
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  • MerAndTrickMerAndTrick member
    100 Comments
    See I have kind of the opposite problem.  My sister over the last few years has put on weight, and I worry about her health!  She already as a genetic heart condition, and both of our parents are overweight/ obese and have type 2 diabetes.  I worry about her future because I want her to be healthy and not overly tax her heart...

    She knows HOW to lose weight, her boyfriend (hopefully soon to be fiance) is in GREAT shape.  A few years ago he helped her lose about 30 lbs, but she slid back into bad habits and put that and more back on.  I've talked with her about it, but I feel like she just has accepted going the route of our parents.  And I don't want that for her because I love her too much for anything to every happen to her!
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