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Planning a wedding for another state, should we invest in a wedding planner?

apham126apham126 member
10 Comments
in Military Brides
My FI is in the AF will be graduating from undergraduate pilot training nin a few weeks. After that, we will be assigned at a new base somewhere in the US, maybe even Hawaii. My question is.... I would like a wedding in MN but I will be in another state, should I just hire a MN wedding planner? They can work with the local vendors and take of things when I'm not there, which is most of the time. But I'm afraid of giving up the reigns to a complete stranger, plus not to mention the price! I hear they are around $2000 to $5000! What should I do? PS. I have not started planning at all.
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Re: Planning a wedding for another state, should we invest in a wedding planner?

  • prettyirishgirlprettyirishgirl member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd first ask are you from MN and do you have family there still if you are? Also I'd ask when you plan to have it.

    I am planning our wedding in the city, but for a while I though't I'd have to do it cross country. I'd say if you can visit and see what you want and make a few trips you may not need one. Once you're in touch with them you can even sign the contract long distance. You can buy you dress where you live along with other small things. Even doing welcome bags can be done where you are and just mail them to MN. I'd possibly consider one for the day of if you are traveling to the wedding, but if the price isnt good you can fit cake tasting, music, food tasting and venue visits into a trip or two. Although it might not be easily I'm sure you could pull it off :)
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm planning from 2000 miles away, and really don't feel like it's a challenge at all so far.  Some people feel like it's overwhelming even if they're planning in the same city.  It all depends on how you feel about it and whether it will give you peace of mind.

    I'd say a good wedding planner is usually a very good investment.  A crappy wedding planner isn't worth anything and might add more stress.  So if you're going to do that, be sure to do it right!  Get recommendations from girls on your local board, be sure to get references, and interview potential planners before you book anyone.

    A lot of venues offer a day-of coordinator, which is really great.  Some of these people will help you with recommendations for other vendors - just keep in mind sometimes these 'recommendations' are because they get a kickback from those specific vendors and not because they're the best quality or value. 

    What has helped me more than anything is my local Knot board.  Those girls have given fantastic recommendations, and I felt comfortable booking most of my vendors sight-unseen (including my venue).  I did tons of research and looks at tons of pictures and tried to make sure I wasn't getting any lemons (try googling "(Name) Fraud" or "(Name) Better Business Bureau" or "(Name) Cheat", etc. and sometimes you'll find some interesting things!). 

    First I figured out my budget and split it up into estimates per item.  Then i found my venue on Style Me Pretty, thought it would be way out of my budget, did some research, realized it was a steal so that's how I found my local board - I went to ask them for their opinions and experiences.  Got rave reviews, sent my parents (who live an hour away from the venue) to go see it and take pictures and ask about 100 questions (not exaggerating - it was 3 pages printed of questions).  Booked it after that.  Then the girls on TK recommended a bunch of photographers, I looked at literally dozens before I found mine.  I spoke to about 30 on the phone and got proposals for service.  I booked my photographers, who recommended a videographer who I didn't end up going with.  So back to the local board - found a fantastic videographer, a phenomenol florist who recommended our caterer, who is also incredible.  The local board bragged about this DJ over and over, so we booked him.  Seriously, it was that easy!  I've only been up to visit once, it's been less than 6 months, and the whole thing is basically done.  Now we'll just have to meet with vendors to nail out specifics, but that can wait until spring.  And we can do it on the phone for most, and a few in person (caterer & florist definitely in person). 

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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    AH- I just wrote a long post and lost it because our internet sucks here!

    Anyway, I can totally understand you worry about planning from far away, especially if you don't know where you'll be.

    Long distance planning can be done and the girls gave you great advice and suggestions. I planned from 4 hours away- not as long as you but still out of town. I'll tell you what, the internet was my best friend. I researched the crap out of my vendors! The only vendor I met with face to face, at first, was the venue. I booked my photographer, dj, and cake through phone/e-mail.

    I did use my local board though. Check and see if your local board has recommended vendors. The Pittsburgh board has a huge list of every type of vendor and I started there.

    Hope we helped! Keep coming back and posting here too!
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hey there! My H is in the AF and I planned our wedding in Minnesota during UPT. PM me and I can recommend vendors/wedding planners. The local Minnesota Knotties are super helpful too! :)
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  • sofiabriansofiabrian
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    While wedding planning, I was living in Washington DC, DH (FI at the time!) was in NC, and our wedding was in Seattle. I had a DOC, and she was well worth it! I'm kind of a control freak, so I did almost everything on my own. But she was great with recommendations, helping with the timeline, and all other day of stuff! 
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  • LOLwaysLOLways
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm trying to use my local board on TK. It has helped somewhat, especially in helping me avoid bad vendors.

    I picked my first planner based off of reviews I found and got jacked. I lost my deposit and she ripped off about 5 other brides. I found a new planner who has been pretty helpful so far, but you really do get what you pay for. If you plunk down the cash for a $5k planner, you'll get your dollar's worth. I don't know if I recommend going for a budget planner, as that's how I got screwed in the first place.

    We used a family friend who is a photographer for our engagement photos... Then he fell off the face of the earth. By that I mean, he won't respond to email, fbook messages, or vmail. But don't worry, he's still active on other people's facebook walls. So, I went to my local board to find a photog and think I found one. My mom and planner are going to interview her this week.

    Basically, moral of the story is that you might get jacked by a vendor no matter what. Just pay attention to your local board's reviews for the past 6 months and send your mom or planner or whoever is local to where your wedding is to go meet with potential vendors. You'll be ok:)
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh, speaking of getting *jacked by a vendor*, if you put the payments on credit cards instead of checks, it would be easier to reclaim your money if the vendor doesn't provide the services agreed upon in the contract.  The Credit Card Protection Act means that the credit card company would refund your money if you can prove you didn't get what you paid for (just have a contract and show where it wasn't met)  and then the credit card company has to go after the vendor directly.

    We've put every vendor we could on credit card for the deposits.  Our caterer wouldn't accept it, but otherwise I think we have everyone.  Wedding insurance is also another way to ensure you will be reimbursed if someone runs off with your deposit.

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  • apham126apham126 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, thanks for all of the advice! A big concern of mine is the vendor meetings. I don't have time nor the money to fly to MN once a month or whatnot to coordinate that. I have family there and will prob be back to buy a dress so my mom can be present, and then the month of the wedding. I wish I could just move home the year of and plan my wedding there haha...
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  • sofiabriansofiabrian
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_planning-wedding-another-state-should-invest-wedding-planner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:d6821f8a-a828-4fda-b402-7e6a2f91dd69Post:4817864e-48d7-495e-b278-ca9a8fd076cf">Re: Planning a wedding for another state, should we invest in a wedding planner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, thanks for all of the advice! <strong>A big concern of mine is the vendor meetings. I don't have time nor the money to fly to MN once a month or whatnot to coordinate that. </strong>I have family there and will prob be back to buy a dress so my mom can be present, and then the month of the wedding. I wish I could just move home the year of and plan my wedding there haha...
    Posted by apham126[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I went back to Seattle three times. Each of those trips was with a wedding purpose! Of course spent time with friends too. I communicated with my DOC and other vendors over email. And it was no problem. Also, rely on your family, they will be so helpful. My mom went to visit many locations and stores for me. When you go home to buy your dress, try to meet and then book as many vendors as possible. I booked photographer, florist, and DOC without meeting them first, but I had connection to them so I felt comfortable with my decision. Ask lots of questions to your local board and read reviews!</div><div>Good luck!!

    </div>
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_planning-wedding-another-state-should-invest-wedding-planner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:d6821f8a-a828-4fda-b402-7e6a2f91dd69Post:4817864e-48d7-495e-b278-ca9a8fd076cf">Re: Planning a wedding for another state, should we invest in a wedding planner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, thanks for all of the advice! A big concern of mine is the vendor meetings. I don't have time nor the money to fly to MN once a month or whatnot to coordinate that. I have family there and will prob be back to buy a dress so my mom can be present, and then the month of the wedding. I wish I could just move home the year of and plan my wedding there haha...
    Posted by apham126[/QUOTE]

    I didn't even meet our Videographer until the week of the wedding. You can do a lot with Skype, email and phone... IMO. I would go and see the venue in person but that would be all I needed to see.
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  • apham126apham126 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    UPDATE! My FI got his assignment and were moving to Tacoma/Seattle! I'm super excited! As far as the long distance wedding planning goes, I will try to see if my family will ge able to help out but they're pretty busy also... Wish me luck!
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  • sofiabriansofiabrian
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Yea for Seattle! I'm from there, married there! Lots of luck with your wedding planning!!
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  • sallysmith&&&sallysmith&&& member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You won't get jacked by a vendor!!! IF YOU ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! DUH!
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