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May 2013 Weddings

WR--My Mom..RANT

So FI's twin sister is his bestest friend. She's gay. He wants her to be his best woman. My mom who is TOTALLY against gay people for no effin reason at all is not for her being his best man. I have said countless times ma this isnt your wedding, if that's who FI is comfortable with being his best man, then thats who its gonna be. She went on to say she isnt a man, and she confused and stupid and all these other really mean comments about her. My mom has never even met FIs sister who happens to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. She shouldn't be punished for her taste. I told her there are plenty of weddings where there is a best woman and a man of honor. SO WHAT. She said so thats other people not you. My mom said she has a total problem with this whole thing, and if FI's sister is the best woman then she's not participating or helping with anything wedding related. She said she won't even come. That's when I got pissed. Its my damn wedding. I'm your only child. What you mean you not gonna come to my wedding just because of who the best man is. I told her thats fine. If thats what yu wanna do, then stay home. The wedding will still go on. With or without you. I can't believe you would let your hatred for gays come before my wedding. I'm not wrong, right.??

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Re: WR--My Mom..RANT

  • No.  I honestly think that you're completely right.  Just because your mother is against gay people does not give her the right to act the way she is.  It's rude and hurtful to your FI and his sister.  He's obviously close to her and if he wants her as his best woman, she can be his best woman.  I think you have to stand up to your mom on this one, even though it's hard.  Good luck with everything!  
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  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Wow. I think your mom is compltely out of line. I understand for FI wanting his sister as his best woman, but could she be a BM to avoid a huge fight with your mom?
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  • In Response to Re: WR--My Mom..RANT:
    [QUOTE]Wow. I think your mom is compltely out of line. I understand for FI wanting his sister as his best woman, but could she be a BM to avoid a huge fight with your mom?
    Posted by SRRL18[/QUOTE]

    ..getting her in a dress would be like finding a needle in a haystack.lol..she's not against them, she's just more comfortable when she's not in one. And i'm all about keeping my bridal party comfy. After all, they're doing me a favor. Jus like PP said, I'm gonna have to stan up to mom. She's like you said..completely out of line.
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  • wow. I'm sorry you are going through this, but glad you are such a strong person to handle it. Having a problem with someones orientation is not a reason to treat someone like they aren't a person, thats rediculous.
    I have a feeling she will come around, just be ready to forgive her when she realises she was wrong, or atleast that she doesn't want to miss out on your day for a stupid reason.
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  • It's your day, and it's your FI's decision. No one else's opinion matters but his on this one. I think that if you're mom is going to act like that then as hard as it is, then maybe she shouldn't come. 
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  • That's terrible!  I agree with all the PPs that you need to stand your ground.  Most likely she will come to your wedding, but it's terrible that she would say that to you.

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  • Your mother is being utterly ridiculous to even say such hurtful things.  A wedding is about 2 families merging together, for her to say such horrible comments is wrong on soooo ,amy levels.  She definitely needs to grow up and stop putting unwarranted judgements onto people.
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  • mcvassmcvass member
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    I agree with everyone ur r right to stand up to your mom no offense but her actions are immature. She may have her beliefs but It's not her wedding It's yours. It's not like she has to sit by her all night and talk to her.
  • The only way to solve this drama is to refuse to discuss it any further. Don't try to convince her, don't try to placate her, don't try to make her understand. Next time it comes up in conversation, your response is to be:

    "[insert FI's name here]'s decision has been made. Now have you given any thought to what flower you'd like for your MOB corsage?"

    If she continues:

    "I'm sorry Mom. It appears I didn't make myself clear. My brain has been so swirling with wedding to-dos! The decision has been made by the only person whose decision it is. It isn't open for further discussion. I'm sorry if I gave the impression that further conversation was in order."

    Basically, if you continue to discuss it, it's open for discussion. If you refuse to engage, the opposite is true. Good luck!!
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  • Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about the wedding issues with your mother! Sounds like she is being unreasonable. I agree with the other brides, be final and tell her it is not up for discussion. Hopefully she can deal with it and you two can patch things up.

    Good luck! Hope she warms up to the idea or at least accepts it. 
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  • I love ChefBrides answer to this. She is right. As if everyone else your mom is out of line and dont engage anymore on any of this. It is soley FI's choice who has stand up next to him. As it is your choice who stands up with you. I hope for your sake your mom sucks up her hatred and realizes its 2012
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  • Your mom's basically throwing a temper tantrum. She's being completely ridiculous. My sister happens to be gay as well and if my FI's mom was saying rude things about her without meeting her, I'd be tempted to knock her out. Keep going with your plans to have her as best woman, and if your mom doesn't like it- too bad. Hopefully she'll realize sooner than later that she's being ridiculous and that your wedding's about you and FI, not who FI chooses to have as his 'Best Man'.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: WR--My Mom..RANT:
    [QUOTE]Your mom's basically throwing a temper tantrum. She's being completely ridiculous. My sister happens to be gay as well and if my FI's mom was saying rude things about her without meeting her, I'd be tempted to knock her out. Keep going with your plans to have her as best woman, and if your mom doesn't like it- too bad. Hopefully she'll realize sooner than later that she's being ridiculous and that your wedding's about you and FI, not who FI chooses to have as his 'Best Man'.
    Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

    Exactly all of this.  
    Your mom sounds like a real peach. I'm sorry you have to deal with this 



  • Wooow...just wow. I wouldn't even try to negotiate with her. Regardless if she was gay or not your FI would have picked her to stand next to him as you state that she is his best friend. Your mom seriously needs an attitude adjustment no offence. Sorry you have to deal with this it is seriously a sucky situation.
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  • Somewhat OT- but I'm so happy that we're gay friendly brides. Gay Rights are incredibly close to my heart :-)
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  • In Response to Re: WR--My Mom..RANT:
    [QUOTE]Somewhat OT- but I'm so happy that we're gay friendly brides. Gay Rights are incredibly close to my heart :-)
    Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

    Me too, SSaltzman. In fact, I'd be willing to throw down with anyone who disagrees!!
    ("throw down" meaning hearty online debate!)
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