inviting co workers

cdlnmf · April 2010

i'm trying to really really finalize our guest list this week. we bounce around adding people and subtracting all of the time. we're taking into consideration ur budget, our venue space, while still trying to be nice (ahem, not that i really want to be in this situation) and include people that our parents and families want invited even though we're paying for it. right now, my BIGGEST struggle is inviting co workers! whats everyone elses take on inviting or not inviting co workers? i just feel like its super hard because im really good friends with like 6 out of 12 people i work with, and then not really with the other 6(including my boss)... but should i invite them all just because? i dont know what to do. advice?

iwalktheline · April 2010

i would really think about your office dynamics... if you're going to want to be talking about it with your 6 friends, you may want to invite the other 6 as well. if you can keep it fairly hush hush (where you won't be rubbing it in the others' faces), i say it's your wedding, invite who you want.

at the time of my wedding, i worked in an office about that same size. i only invited the people i was friends with and i was so panicked the whole time that the others would find out and be offended. you do have to work with those people every day, so you don't want to have things be awkward.

it's a tough choice. good luck!

jonnysbride2010 · April 2010

I work in a pretty large elementary school so I only invited my coworkers that I call up and hang out with outside of school. It ended up just being 6! I didn't invite my principal because we aren't that close. I think it's all about your personal office dynamics and if you actually want and need those people at your wedding!

Shazzie116 · April 2010

Our wedding was in a different state from where we work, so I wasn't too worried about feelings being hurt. Having said that, I invited 3 girls who I work with/worked with who I consider to be very close friends outside of work and we get together frequently on our own, and DH invited one of his friends who he hangs out with outside of work as well.

If you have room in your budget and you'd just feel more comfortable inviting them all (since there are only 12 coworkers), I'd say do that. Chances are a few wouldn't come. But if your closeness to the 6 is vastly different from the others, just invite the 6 you're close to. Your coworkers will be happy for you no matter what.

thedivaone · April 2010

My entire company is 13 people. Of that group there are only 3 I really like so I'm inviting them and their partners/spouses. Of the rest, I know some of them would come if I invited them because, well, there's one guy with no social skills who would come to anything and ask for seconds at dinner, but I don't hang with him/them and I don't particularly like them. So I'm not going to invite them. If they get bent about it I'm just going to blame it on budget constraints and leave it at that. If you feel comfortable doing that I'd suggest it.

HMcP · April 2010

I have almost the same situation, 8 people in my dept (and we share a really big room/office area) and I have great relationships with 4 and decent/professional relationships with the other 4. I'm inviiting those great relationship 4 (with spouses) and not feeling a bit bad about the others. We're adults and 1) the 'clicks are pretty evident to everyone even if you don't want to admit it. 2) none of those 4 will run around our office talking about it.

I wouldn't stress it, invite who YOU want to share your day with.

cdlnmf · April 2010

Thanks ladies! I know, I really shouldn't stress so much about it. I mean, shouldn't it be obvious? If I'm worried that you might give me some backlash for not inviting you, then it doesn't it mean that you're someone I shouldn't worry about inviting anyways? Hah, at least thats FI's response when I agonize over it. I'm trying not to really worry too much.

jonchrissy · April 2010

I'm not inviting anyone from my current office because I'm not close with anyone. There is a group that I work with and they all hang out after work and on weekends If I knew everyone was invited to a wedding from that circle and I wasn't, I would understand. I think as long as there is a group you hang out with outside of work as opposed to just randomly selecting a few, there shouldn't be a problem.

bostonbride214 · April 2010

I'm in the same boat as the pp...I work in a department of 15 but I only invited those that I am close with and consider friends outside of work - 6 of them along with their spouses - and not all of them were able to come.

I felt guilty about it and then someone told me to think about it from their prospective that when they are in same situation and it is their turn to get married, I probably wouldn't be invited to their wedding, or worse feel like I had to go b/c they did include me. Does that make sense?

snoangel79 · April 2010

I work in a smaller group about the same size and I am not inviting them. I am close to three of the women that work here but again dislike my boss, my bosse's boss, and one of my other co-workers. I think it's invite none or all, at least in my situation just because I don't want to make it a weird situation. I pulled each of my friends aside and told them of my feelings and they are fine with it.

Krystalynne21 · April 2010

I am inviting all of my coworkers, because we have a small office of 10 (including me). We are a very close knit group with the exception of our consulting neuro, but I wouldn't think twice about inviting her. However....the guest list may jump because they are moving me to the main office in July. Still about 10-12 people there, but I can't really see myself inviting any of them to the wedding. I have worked in my current office for 5 years, and at least 2 years with everyone here. We are literally like family, so I am definitely inviting them all!

MandahGirly · April 2010

We did not invite anyone that we worked with. I had a few people that I wanted to invite, but if I had invited them, I would have had to invite a whole slew of people, and I didn't want to deal with any tension. It sucked, as I would have liked to have a couple people there, but it worked out for the best I think.

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