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Catholic Wedding Debate

varsity714varsity714 member
First Comment
in Wisconsin
I have already booked a reception location (Pier Wisconsin) and of course, having the ceremony on the lake would be gorgeous. I have always pictured myself having an outdoor reception and not getting married in the church. I was brought up catholic, and my fiance was baptized catholic. I am starting to have second thoughts on having the wedding in the church. Anyone else having issues deciding? Does anyone know typical costs of getting married in the church?
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Re: Catholic Wedding Debate

  • Jules08Jules08
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The donation to the church varies by the church.  In 2008 I was married at St. Robert's Catholic Parish and the "donation" or fee was 400.

    I would sit down with your FI and discuss how important the church is to you both.  Do you attend the service regularly?  Do you currently belong to a church?  If not, do you plan to join and attend regularly?  Will the church be an important part of your family in the future?  If you have children, will you include the church in their upbringing?

    The Catholic church requires a marriage prep that involves a few sessions with the priest or pastoral associate, a seminar, as well as FOCCUS counciling with other members of the church, is this something you and your FI are willing to do?

    The biggest question is if you never pictured a church wedding, why now?

    Once you can answer these questions (especially the last), you will know how important the Church ceremony is to you and your FI and if it is the right decision for you.
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  • Jules08Jules08
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I meant to also add: GL in the decision!
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  • portia.youngportia.young
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Three Holy Women Parish which includes Old St. Mary's Downtown (my ceremony church) and St. Hedwig's on Brady street, the fee is around $500 for 2009-10.

    Cost shouldn't be the deciding factor because it's probably going to be a wash when you find an officiant for an outdoor wedding.  Also, decorating/defining a ceremony space outside costs more too.

    Decide what you want, and in most cases you may have your answer depending on your date--Churches may be booked and you may not have that option.

    I ran into problems because of Advent, and you know Lent is off-limits too.
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  • heidkecmheidkecm
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    St. Roberts is now $600 for 2010 and the cathedral is around $1,000
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  • runnrgurlrunnrgurl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We decided to go ahead with the church. It was really important for our families, and felt it was worth the extra 'work'. 

    Our donation is $150, but we're getting married outside of Milwaukee. 

    The special prep mentioned by the previous poster maybe took us 12 hours total...we had to meet with our FOCCUS couple twice (an hr. each time), with the deacon 2 twice (maybe another two hours), and then attended a conference (6-8 hours). It may sound corny, but we really found that attending all these events actually got us talking and strengthened our relationship. We are not regular church-goers but have much respect for the religion we were raised in. Of course, we don't agree with everything, but a lot of this emphasizes communication and really gets the two of you thinking...

    Good luck with your decision!
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  • dreynebeau dreynebeau member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm struggling with this right now as well. If you want your marriage recognized by the Catholic Church and you would like to baptize your children in the Catholic church, then you have to have your ceremony in the church. You can try requesting a different site from your bishop, but the rule for Catholic ceremonies is that it has to be in a church.
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  • jollcm18jollcm18 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_wisconsin_cathollic-wedding-debate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:118Discussion:e61630c2-be23-46a1-b03b-08382782489aPost:84ed55ab-dd7a-457b-a177-08b0906f47ac">Re: Catholic Wedding Debate</a>:
    [QUOTE]Three Holy Women Parish which includes Old St. Mary's Downtown (my ceremony church) and St. Hedwig's on Brady street, the fee is around $500 for 2009-10. Cost shouldn't be the deciding factor because it's probably going to be a wash when you find an officiant for an outdoor wedding.  Also, decorating/defining a ceremony space outside costs more too. Decide what you want, and in most cases you may have your answer depending on your date--Churches may be booked and you may not have that option. I ran into problems because of Advent, and you know Lent is off-limits too.
    Posted by portia.young[/QUOTE]

    I noticed that you are having your wedding during advent - did your church make special arrangements for you?  I'm planning on a 12-10-11 wedding, but haven't found a church to join yet.  I was curious if they let you have a ceremony during advent.  I don't want to book my reception venue yet becuase I'm concerned about how difficult it may be to get a wedding date at the church during advent . 

    Any advice/input would be appreciated!  TIA
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  • varsity714varsity714 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey ladies! My finace and I decided to have an intimate (immediate family only) ceremony in the church, and a blessing with everyone at the reception location. This will give both of us what we truly want - the catholic wedding, and the wedding ceremony outside.
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