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Rant. Ugh!

Re: Rant. Ugh!

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    pcslindsers06pcslindsers06 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    least*
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can understand being a little peeved and wanting her to at least ask when your guys' date is. No matter what, you're gonna have your day and she'll have hers. I wouldn't worry about the colors part either, there are so many ways to incorporate them-so there's no way your weddings will look identical. In the end, I'd think of it as two fun events that your families get to be a part of back to back.
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    KateJ10KateJ10
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh that is a crappy coincidence- she had no idea that is what you guys had planned for the site or colors? weird!! 

    Honestly it does suck a little, but I agree that your weddings would still be plenty different.  I wouldn't have expected someone to check venues or colors with us if they were getting married, but I guess I would hope they or we would check dates. And I would only be concerned with the date if there are a lot of out of town guests that overlap weddings- it would get expensive for them.
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    rachi1285rachi1285
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you said anything to her yet? Maybe don't confront her angrily (yet) but just get more info so you know how much planning she's already put into it? Maybe she'd be willing to change a couple colors if she hasn't bought tons of stuff yet. It's a year away so I'd think something could still be changed!
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    FutureMrsSheelerFutureMrsSheeler
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Rachi. I would be upset as well, but if its something she wants and didn't even know about, its hard to be mad. I would just talk with her.
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    MrsBassPlayaMrsBassPlaya member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, first off, Happy 1 year till your wedding date!

    Secondly, that sucks.  She probably isn't doing anything on purpose, but I understand how frustrating that can be.  Maybe she doesn't know your colors.  If you aren't close, then why would she know much of anything about your wedding?  Maybe use the two weddings to open up conversation about these things.  You never know, she may have a way different vision than you do.  Even the same color schemes can be portrayed differently.

    And also, the guest overlap won't be that huge.  It will only be FI's side who will even be at the two weddings.  All of your friends and your family won't know about the other wedding at all.

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    TaffetaDarlingTaffetaTaffetaDarlingTaffeta member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Really, I don't see the point in talking to her about it. What do you want to accomplish? Have her change her date, the venue, her colors?? It doesn't make sense to worry about it,  she'll put on hers, you put on yours. 

     Who cares if you have similar colors, same venue... it's not a competition, you are not the same people, won't have all the same guests and personal touches,  focus on getting ready to have a good wedding that the two of you planned together! Congrats, it will be lovely.   


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    shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My Cousin got engaged after H and I. She called and asked about our date and planned hers 2 weeks before us at the same church. Granted her colors were different but I didn't care at all. IMO It's not your place to tell anyone else how to plan their wedding unless it was a etiquette issue.

    I agree with PPs that there is so much you can do with colors, themes ideas that each will be personal and unique. No if she wanted to get together and share stuff I would say Heck No.  
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    tpender13tpender13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you're overreacting. If you haven't spoken with her since she got engaged, how would you expect her to know what decisions you've made. You get ONE day, so does she.
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    pcslindsers06pcslindsers06 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not overreacting. I'm not going to call and say anything and like I said up top, of course I know she's not doing it on purpose. I just thought it would have been nice for her to check for where and when we are doing it. That's what I would have done if I had an already engaged cousin. They have far away family on their side that will almost certainly not come to both. I know it's not a competition at all but everyone wants their own unique wedding. Pretty much everyone on that side knew what we had decided on for venues/ a date so it would have been very easy for her to find out. Either way, both weddings will be fun/beautiful/etc. It's just a little disappointing.
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    martiac225martiac225
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sucks, but I have to agree with PP.  It won't be the same wedding and you will both have your day.  Try and move on and focus on the end result - being married.  You will look back at this after the wedding and wonder why you put so much worry and thought into this.  Your day will be great! Good luck with your planning!!
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    musicalsunlightmusicalsunlight member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think she needed to call and check with you about any of that stuff. She is a "not very close" cousin to your FI. J's cousin got engaged a few months ago and she didn't do anything to contact me about what my colors or venue were. I don't really care if she ends up with  the same colors or books the same venue. Both of your weddings will be completely different and only a slight overlap of guests. This is something I would let go as water under the bridge, because it is really not going to be a big deal in the end.
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