question about leave for the wedding

Re: question about leave for the wedding

• LuluP82 member

  

  January 2012

  I think a lot of people plan over holiday weekends that are typically 96s (Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, CHristmas, New Year's, Martin Luther King, etc) since they're more likely to be able to get off on those days. We did our VR the weekend before Thanksgiving.

  

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• calindi member

  

  January 2012

  Like you said, there's no guarantees and no one can tell you the chances, as it depends entirely on where he's going, what he's doing, who his command is, and how they feel about him taking time off.  Sorry!
  
  That said, if you haven't already, make sure all your vendor contracts have a military clause in them, stating that in case he cannot attend you wedding as planned due to his commitment to the military, that the vendor agrees to transfer all deposits to a mutually agreeable date or refund your money (I did also put that they would honor the same pricing up to one year from the scheduled wedding date).
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• LuluP82 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-leave-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ea43bb40-7442-4214-a840-d13ebcbfb383Post:fdcb1eeb-3fb4-4018-a44a-a8e66f9229fb">Re: question about leave for the wedding</a>:
  [QUOTE]Like you said, there's no guarantees and no one can tell you the chances, as it depends entirely on where he's going, what he's doing, who his command is, and how they feel about him taking time off.  Sorry! That said, if you haven't already, make sure all your vendor contracts have a military clause in them, stating that in case he cannot attend you wedding as planned due to his commitment to the military, that the vendor agrees to transfer all deposits to a mutually agreeable date or refund your money (I did also put that they would honor the same pricing up to one year from the scheduled wedding date).
  Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
  
  And make sure military obligations doesn't mean deployment orders. Bc a lot of vendors will only honor those. And also make sure they don't want a guarantee of leave document before that makes the military clause enforceable (I had a few ppl ask for that, and of course that is impossible to get). DO NOT buy insurance-- all of the policies I looked at had deployment order requirements OR asked for a doc assuring leave before they'd reimburse us.
  
  I think your best bet, frankly, is just to wait until he gets through everything before planning, but I understand why you might not want to. We planned our reception in 3 months because we didn't want to risk it.

  

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• calindi member

  

  January 2012

  Lulu, I think it depends on where you are and how familiar they are with the military.  I think this was a first for most of our vendors, and they literally put whatever wording we had right into the contract.  Which FI wrote to state: "if, due to military obligation is unable to attend the wedding as scheduled" so it didn't say deployment.  In "Small Claims", that should hold up just fine!

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• LuluP82 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-leave-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ea43bb40-7442-4214-a840-d13ebcbfb383Post:4151cb49-a9ba-4a2f-b0f6-ae53d3528943">Re: question about leave for the wedding</a>:
  [QUOTE]Lulu, I think it depends on where you are and how familiar they are with the military.  I think this was a first for most of our vendors, and they literally put whatever wording we had right into the contract.  Which FI wrote to state: "if, due to military obligation is unable to attend the wedding as scheduled" so it didn't say deployment.  In "Small Claims", that should hold up just fine!
  Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
  
  True. I was in DC. They knew what was up. They specifically had that exact wording and said it meant deployment and/or change of a granted leave date, with documentation requested. So I didn't bother, but then again, we had a short timeline. Of course, if you can define the terms yourself, then you're good to go.

  

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• iluvmytxrgr member

  

  January 2012

  If I were you, I would put that date on hold and wait to set a date until he gets to his first duty station.  You have no idea what his training schedule will be like around the date you have chosen.  I've also known some units who would not let junior enlisted take leave for at least 6 months after they arrived unless a deployment is looming.  That's also another thing you'll have to think about.  The unit he is set to join may have a deployment with in months of his graduation. 
  Like I said, I would put planning based on your dates on hold until he gets where he's going. 

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• Beachy730 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-leave-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ea43bb40-7442-4214-a840-d13ebcbfb383Post:10a927e0-76a8-43c9-868e-64231d0cef77">Re: question about leave for the wedding</a>:
  [QUOTE]If I were you, I would put that date on hold and wait to set a date until he gets to his first duty station.  You have no idea what his training schedule will be like around the date you have chosen.  I've also known some units who would not let junior enlisted take leave for at least 6 months after they arrived unless a deployment is looming.  That's also another thing you'll have to think about.  The unit he is set to join may have a deployment with in months of his graduation.  Like I said, I would put planning based on your dates on hold until he gets where he's going. 
  Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]
  
  
  
  Ditto all of this. I'd say you maybe have a 25% chance of him being there. It's 50/50 whether he'll be deployed by then or not. And it's another 50/50 whether they'll let him take the leave if he's not deployed. Those aren't chances I'd be willing to take with that much money on such a short time frame. I'd put the wedding off until he gets there and have a better idea.

  

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• ShawnaM83 member

  

  January 2012

  Most trainees are given a sponsor some time during their technical training - this person is usually someone they will be working with when they get to their duty station. If you do decide to keep the date you have and go forward with the planning despite all the unknowns at this point, as soon as your FI gets a sponsor he needs to let them know the dates he needs off. While they can't give him any leave at that point, they should be able to let him know if there are any base exercises that will prohibit Airman from taking leave that isn't considered emergency leave or any other factors that would interfere with his leave. He can also get an idea from that person on how receptive the flight and squadron are to granting leave that soon after in-processing.
  
  Like everyone has said already, though, I would get very detailed custom military clauses or even wait and pick a new date. It sucks, but the reality is that there is no guarantee your FI will graduate BMT or Tech school when you expect him too. Should something horrible happen in basic training, he'd be put in the medical flight until he is fit for duty again and then he might have to start BMT over again. If there aren't enough trainees to start a class for his AFSC, he could get stuck on details duty for a couple days to a couple weeks until actually starting his tech school. Nothing is for sure in the military and you HAVE to expect the unexpected. Even what dnbeach said about deployments is true. I in processed my first base and started out processing for a deployment less than a month later.
  
  Good luck and best wishes!

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• brianna2789 member

  

  January 2012

  Thanks for all the advice everyone! Unfortunately, we signed contracts, made deposits, and picked the date before he was even in the military. So as far as choosing a new date, or putting military clauses in the contracts, I'm not entirely sure that I can go back and change that. I did, however, contact all of our vendors and let them know about his military status. Most of them told me that I could change the date within a reasonable time amount of so many months. So, I guess, for right now, I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

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• calindi member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-leave-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ea43bb40-7442-4214-a840-d13ebcbfb383Post:b5e70d89-031c-44f9-9de3-e4bb4a983e35">Re: question about leave for the wedding</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice everyone! Unfortunately, we signed contracts, made deposits, and picked the date before he was even in the military. So as far as choosing a new date, or putting military clauses in the contracts, I'm not entirely sure that I can go back and change that. I did, however, contact all of our vendors and let them know about his military status. Most of them told me that I could change the date within a reasonable time amount of so many months. So, I guess, for right now, I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best.
  Posted by brianna2789[/QUOTE]
  
  I would definitely see if those vendors would agree to add an addendum (an added part to a contract) that has the military clause.  If it's not in writing, it won't do you much good if you get stuck in a bind.  Because hoping for the best might end up costing you several thousand dollars!

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Iggy85

  

  January 2012

  As an Air Force veteran, let me just say this: the dates he requests for leave are NOT guaranteed. His CO will try to accomadate him the best that he can, but if there is a reason for him to be there, such as say, deployment readiness excersises, he may not get it. Things can hit the fan in an instant, so even if he puts in his request for leave, and it's approved, they can deny it if need be. Just remember that he gets 2.5 days of leave for every month that he's in. I suggest waiting until he gets his orders to his permanent duty station, and see if they have any TDY's or deployments coming up, then start planning around that. Good luck!

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• agirl628 member

  

  January 2012

  If you can't get a military clause, I got wedding insurance from USAA.  I am in the military and still haven't got a permanent duty station, and wedding insurance will cover any non refundable deposits, it's not too big of an expense but I think it's worth it

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