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May 2012 Weddings

Vendor frustration! (Long post)

So the wedding is over and I am starting my vedor reviews (the last thing I have on my checklist)!  DH and I were beyond happy with just about everything for our wedding.  The venue, our DOC, the food, the cake, the flowers, the bar service, the photography and the videography, all exceptionl.  The only thing that was extremely disappointing was our DJ.  In short, the music he decided to play throughout the night was very hit/miss.  We also had some very big issues that happened that defintiely affected the reception (one involving our cake cutting song being played without DH even being in the room).  We had several guests approach us during the evening to share comments with us about the music during the reception, but DH and I were both just too busy to really focus on what was happening.  It wasn't until after the wedding, when our dj sent us a link of all the music played from cocktail hour until the end of the reception, that we were clued in to what our guests were trying to tell us.  Dinner hour music was horrible, depressing and slow and lasted for what seemed to be FOREVER.  Dance music was all over the place, couldn't get our crowd going, songs were being faded out way before they were finished, too many slow songs back to back, etc.  Just a jumbled mess honestly.  
So, I waited until last week to start writing my review of our dj, because I wanted to let some time pass and really process everything so I could write a fair review.  I posted my review on WeddingChannel.com and honestly, it expressed some of the issues we had, but it wasn't written in a mean way at all.  I even gave props to the music selected for our cocktail hour because, it was really good!  I did say that our dj was the biggest dissappointment of our wedding, because to us, he was!  I still have guests talking to me about the music.  :(  
Well, the day after I wrote my review, the dj messaged me on Facebook and told me that "the review would stay up forever, it was going to hurt his business, it hurt his feelings and would I please consider removing it."  Seriously???  He never once expressed concern over the fact that we were not happy.  He never asked what went wrong, what made us feel the way we did.  He was only concerned with how he was going to be hurt by this review.  I chose not to respond to his message because, I didn't feel I owed him any explaination since he wasn't even willing to try and find out what our side of the situation was.  Then on Friday, he posted on Facebook "psycho clients go away, don't come back any other day."  I was like, really?  This was followed by another email from him telling me that he is a God loving, hard working individual whose business I am trying to ruin by my review.  That what I said was full of lies, that it wasn't very Classy Kat, and that he wished me and DH good luck because if this is any indication of how I am, that we were going to need it.  OMG - I was so angry on Friday!!  Who does this???  Especially knowing that there are several review sites that I can post on, and that I could also include his comments that he made via email to me.  Isn't the whole point of giving a review so that other clients can get both good and bad feedback about the vendor so they can have a better idea of who they might be hiring?  I am wondering now if he has done this to other clients who may have written a negative review, badgering them and being mean to them until they take their negative review down, because on his website and on other review sites, there are only positive comments (one of the major reasons we selected him for our wedding).  
And after all of this, late Friday night, he went to one of my wedding photos on Facebook and "liked" it.  That creeped me out...and completely felt like a passive/aggresive move.  I plan on removing him from my FB list and will also write additional reviews on WeddingWire.com and Yelp but, do you ladies think I should do anything else about this guy?  I think it will all blow over in time but, my venue has him as a preferred vendor and I would truly hate for other couples to go through this experience because I didn't do something more.  
Have any of you had to experience this yet?  I would love your feedback.  I know vendors are not allowed to be on our boards but, as creepy as he has been, I would not be surprised if he wasn't stalking this board and my local board, to see if I posted anything about him - which is why I am not stating his name or the name of his business.  :(  

*edited for corrections

Re: Vendor frustration! (Long post)

  • That is totally uncalled for and honestly creepy. Is he an approved vendor anywhere? I would let those venues/websites know about his behavior.

    To be fair though, I would reply to his email with a very short note summarizing why you did left the review you did and how you think it is an accurate reflection of his service.
    Anniversary
  • That is creepy.  I agree with PP, I'd give him a brief reply of why you felt his services warranted that review, then I'd remove him from FB and block him.  I would definitely write more reviews and highlight his unprofessional manner after the wedding/review. 
    People make mistakes, but guilting you and bullying you into changing your review isn't the way to go about it.  Perhaps he could have validated your concerns and tried to learn from them and then you'd be more willing to consider editing the review.  Maybe he'll learn.
    What an a-hole!
  • I never posted here much, but I hope you don't mind if I jump in.  We dealt with a vendor like this BEFORE the wedding -- a photographer.  He ended up threatening us with lawyers, etc. when he was being a complete d-bag and we were doing absolutely nothing wrong and being very polite.

    I would definitely de-friend him on Facebook and/or make your FB friends only.  On top of that, I would do exactly what pp said and go back and edit your review to include his responses to you via e-mail (I'd copy and paste, but then again, when people do this kind of crap to me, I don't play nice all the time) and continue to write reviews wherever possible.  If you know of any vendors who recommend him, I'd touch base with them and let them know your experience.  When my venue recommended a cake company that they were beginning to recommend and I let them know we had some issues with them, they immediately stopped recommending them.  They take these things very seriously as a poor recommendation can affect THEIR business.

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with someone so immature.  At this point, I'd cease all contact with him, block him on FB, e-mail, etc., and do whatever you can to make sure others are aware of your experience.
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  • Thank you guys, for your supportive responses.  I was starting to doubt my reactions to all of this and thought maybe I was making more out of it than I should be.  He is no longer part of my FB friend list, and I do plan on writing the other reviews on Yelp and WeddingWire.com.  I will also email our venue and let them know about this.  I am more concerned about how he reacted to the review than I am about the the service he provided.  Everyone can have a bad day, although it would have been nice if it wasn't our wedding that this had to happen at.  However, completely ignoring the issues and blaming me for the situation is what has truly affected me.  And suggesting that our marriage will need a lot of luck to last was just down right offensive and rude.  I'll try and remember to update here when/if anything new develops! :)
  • Wow, that is not only creepy but extremely unprofessional.  People can review me online as a health professional, and every doctor I know always gets the occasional crazy patient posting blatant lies online....but there's nothing you can do about it!  I cannot even fathom trying to track down the person and then asking them to remove the review.  Blows my mind.

    You did nothing wrong by posting your review - if he's really that good, yours will be a minority bad review.  If you aren't the only one disappointed, it's only his fault for being a crappy DJ.

    I'd sever all ties you have with him like you suggested.  I might leave it as it is because posting all the things he said to you online might further fan the flames so to speak.  And if he is nuts enough to be so blunt as to ask you to remove the review, I'd be nervous about what he might do if you piss him off further.  I would, however, let your venue know about it privately.

    Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this!
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  • Yikes what a creep! I would just remove him as your FB friend and leave your review up. You don't want any other brides to go through what you and your DH went through. I am so sorry!
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  • Yea, I agree with Aurora. Leave it as it is with him, block him from Facebook, and then privately let your vendor or others who recommended him to you about the issue including the unprofessional coorespondence after the fact. Adding to your review, even though it's his fault, may only fuel a fire that you don't want to continue, especially for someone so unprofessional to begin with. Sorry you're dealing with such a doof!
    Married since May 12, 2012
  • I guess I kind of "get" his first response. Not so much asking you to take it down, but the first part about it hurting his feelings and potentially his business. The "wedding business" goes so much on word of mouth and reviews online that one or two poor reviews can harm someone's business.

    However, his subsequent emails/FB postings are for sure ridiculous. I wouldn't add to your previous review or post new ones, but I would let your venue/DOC know what's been going on.
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  • I would also suggest beyone your email to your venue.... to call your local Better Business Bureau
    Anniversary
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