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May 2013 Weddings
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Dress Shopping - Who To Bring

Benny618Benny618
100 Comments
in May 2013 Weddings
FI's brother got married a few months before we got engaged, and his new SIL did not include FIs mom in almost anything.  FIs mom was very open to me and FI about how hurt she was about not being part of anything. 
I really do love her and so right after we got engaged, I told her that I want her involved as much as possible, and I'm worried that I spoke too soon....
She told me she wants to come dress shopping with me, and I'm just not sure if I want her there or not.  I've gained weight the past few years and shopping for clothes in general is a struggle for me.  I absolutely plan on bringing my mom and dad because they have great taste and I know they will always be honest and can calm me down if I start getting upset about how things look on me.  I'm just worried that if I have my FMIL there as well, I will not be as comfortable since I'm already uncomfortable with my body.  At the same time, a part of me also wants the experience to just be with my parents just because it's such an emotional and special experience. 
Some people have told me to go alone with my mom the first time and invite FMIL the next time I go, when I have a better idea of what I like.  I'm just worried that if I do that behind her back and end up finding a dress I love without her there, I might really hurt her feelings. 

What do you guys think?
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Re: Dress Shopping - Who To Bring

  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Do what makes you comfortable.  I took my mom to my appointment and ended up buying a dress that that she liked in order to make her happy.  Now I'm selling the dress and not planning on taking her to find my new one, because she's mad I'm selling the one I don't like.  

    Ultimately it's your choice.  I think you should consider bringing your FMIL though, since she was hurt she didn't get to go when your FSIL found her dress.  And I promise you, when you find the dress that you fall in love with, you'll feel beautiful and confident.
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  • Knottie1450123632Knottie1450123632 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    exactly go with gut. i know when u find the one dress you will feel gorgeous
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    Idk I understand body issues I have some areas that are blah to me but you already told her you would involve her in the wedding planning. My dress shopping is in 2 weeks I'm having fmil my birthmother there, she asked to come and it honestly made me happy she wanted to be a part of the experience. Maybe talk to her tell her how you feel.
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  • pittpoint1119pittpoint1119 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Go with your gut, but I would sugest taking FMIL. My family lives an hour and 1/2 from my FI family, so what I did was take FMIL, FSIL and a friend BM who lives near them and went shopping near them. They loved it cause they got to be apart of it! Then I went with my mom, aunt and a few other BM/MOH to look at dresses and the day I went I said yes to my dress!!! When we go and look at BM dresses in July FMIL will be there too with my FSIL since they are in my bridal party. It also can bring you closer together.. it brought us together!!
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    I'd go with your gut. There's plenty of other things to include your FMIL in :-) 
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  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I agree with everyone else. She can always go with you for your appointments for fittings.
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  • RebCapponRebCappon
    500 Comments
    Go with your gut and if you don't take her, make sure you just let her know why, don't just go behind her back that will hurt her more. If you explain it I don't think she will be hurt.

    Also I only took my mom, didn't plan on even trying anything on but found my dress and fell in love.
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  • abbyandmatt51abbyandmatt51 member
    100 Comments
    I would take your FMIL with you. I was also unsure about including my mother-in-law with the dress shopping (she is very weight-focused and can be critical about that topic) but I am SO GLAD I did. She realllllyyy appreciated being invovled and I know it meant a lot to her. Plus, it made us closer! She was actually really great, and gave honest opinions about the dresses I tried on. And when I did find "the one", she was supportive and helped me to feel great about my decision.

    I think if I hadn't included her, she would have felt hurt and left-out. It's her only son I'm marrying, and her first child to get married. She loves being involved. I was a little stressed out with my giant entourage for a few shopping trips, but the stress melted away once we were shopping and things went smoothly. It's worth it to stress out a little to strenghten bonds with your FMIL and set the stage for your future relationships with her. Remember, you're still going to be with her after the wedding!!

    Ultimately, it's your choice. But if it's just a little discomfort on your part, I'd say suck it up and invite her. I brought my mom, sister, FMIL and future sister-in-law and am so thankful I did.

    Good luck and HAVE FUN!! Trying on expensive, pretty, white dresses is FUN!
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  • Benny618Benny618
    100 Comments
    Thank you so much.  PP convinced me for sure, I'm going to suck it up and take her.  I think it will be worth it for our relationship in the long run.  Thanks ladies! :)
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  • Knottie1450123632Knottie1450123632 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    anytime.  neither one of us have our moms so i may be doing dress shopping with my daughter and maybe her grandma from dad side.  :( this is the hard part and i have put off buying my dress
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  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_dress-shopping-who-to-bring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:ed0ecf2d-6d41-4964-8d3f-60844fda5062Post:72d7e2f5-7b8d-4af1-b997-a940460c22a6">Re: Dress Shopping - Who To Bring</a>:
    [QUOTE]anytime.  neither one of us have our moms so i may be doing dress shopping with my daughter and maybe her grandma from dad side.  :( this is the hard part and i have put off buying my dress
    Posted by southerncutie[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry.
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  • sweetbrat89sweetbrat89 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    i was asking myself the same thing i want to take my mom and my sister but my fi mom and step mom wants to go with me so i plan on taking them all see how things go
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