VENT: Parents

mgoss228 · April 2011

For once my father is being the most tolerable of the four parents (him, my mom, FMIL and FFIL). Or at least he's not causing me any grief right now, unlike the other three.

So, several months ago we informed the parental units that we would be taking the formal family photos two hours BEFORE the ceremony. Everyone was fine, and thought it was a good idea so everyone would enjoy the whole reception.

WELL, that's all gone to sh*t......

It started off last week when FMIL and FFIL informed us that they will be driving one of FI's relatives and her daughter (too young to attend Wedding) to a friend of a friend to be babysat. So they can't make the family photos..... we'll have to do FI's side after the ceremony :::pout::: I just don't see why they can't have another one of FI's relatives drive them down to the babysitter. ::: double pout :::

Well, today, I called my mom to see what time she was planning on arriving to the hotel for H/MU. And when I told her what time we were starting, she said, "Oh I think I'll just skip it." ::::: insert a huge amount of explicatives ::::: I can't believe she doesn't want the extra mother/daughter time! I NEVER get mother/daughter time, NEVER. Not in the last 22 years my brother has been alive, he is in the lower functioning end of the autism spectrum, and I've never been able to have a "normal" relationship with either of my parents because my brother requires so much time/energy. May 7th is supposed to be MY DAY (and FI's too, of course), and my mother had already hired a professional "sitter" for disabled adults to watch my brother for the ENTIRE Saturday. I want to shake her and tell her to GET OVER IT and WAKE UP EARLY on your daughter's wedding day so you can have your hair and makeup professionally done so you can look good in the photos AND that we get Mother/Daughter time that I REALLY WANT!

End of rant.

kristend72 · April 2011

Just call her back and say, "I was a little surprised earlier and I just wanted to let you know that I would really like it if you could come do hair and makeup with me. I've really been looking forward to it as 'us' time."

She probably doesn't realize how important it is to you.

As far as the pictures go, see if your fiance can find someone to do the driving. Then present it to his parents as, "Oh, we know you wouldn't want to miss cocktail hour so we talked to XX and she's more than willing to drive them out there. See you at 4 for pictures!"

mgoss228 · April 2011

kristend72: Thanks for the advice!

I've been watching Puppy Cam since I came back to my desk after talking to my mom: http://www.ustream.tv/sfshiba <--- highly recommend for anyone w/ Wedding/Work stress!

So now I'm a little more calm and reasonable

I'll bring up the F-IL's idea to FI tonight, and call my mom after work.

Narginia · April 2011

I agree with PP! Make sure you know how important it is and that you want that time with her!

meganhardan · April 2011

First of all, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I can totally understand wanting one day for you and your FI without any other distractions/interruptions!

I agree about letting your mom know how important it is to her that she's there (even though in my opinion you shouldn't have to tell her, she should know this!) Also, I'm not trying to be mean, but do you think that maybe she is looking for you to say how you want her to be there?

Can you have FI talk to his parents about going to the babysitters earlier or having someone else do it?

I hope that this all works out the way you want it to. You are so close!!!

kristend72 · April 2011

Try Daily Squee, too. Always does the trick for me! Sometimes it takes a little while but I come around.

VENT: Parents

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