Stay Away from Same Venue as Friend?

AshKat1012 · May 2011

I have found my absolute dream venue for my dream wedding! Only problem is that it is where one of my very good friends is getting married. Is using the same venue as a friend at total no-no??

KellyBrian2013 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_stay-away-same-venue-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:3074e46a-d4fe-4ff1-b27b-836bd32a0a89Post:44754562-730d-4565-8dc4-4019d81bb5c2">Stay Away from Same Venue as Friend?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have found my absolute dream venue for my dream wedding! Only problem is that it is where one of my very good friends is getting married. Is using the same venue as a friend at total no-no??
Posted by AshKat1012[/QUOTE]

Only if you're still in high school.

... but as an adult, no, it shouldn't be. Your wedding will still be unique, regardless of a shared venue.

Beazilla · May 2011

It's fine. Your weddings will be different, even at the same place.

Frogger5 · May 2011

I think it actually depends on who's getting married first. If she told you about this awesome venue and you go and have your wedding there a month before her, and especially if a lot of the same friends will be attending both, I think that's not a good idea. Even though it doesn't REALLY matter, I'd be irritated if I was your friend. It also depends on how big of a place you're getting married in - like if it's actually in Minneapolis, with lots of venues to chose from, why do it? If it's some small outer ring suburb with only a few options, then it's not such a big deal. Maybe I just like to make things complicated

AshKat1012 · May 2011

A lot of the same friends will be attending...my wedding will be about 8 months after hers. The venue is back in our hometown...I want kind of a rustic, shabby chic look and the venue is an old stone barn...NOTHING like it around the city!

tenofcups4me · May 2011

It's fine to have it there after hers.

Frogger5 · May 2011

OK, given that info I say just ask her. If she says it's fine, even if she doesn't mean it, then go ahead. Her fault for not saying so if it does bother her! Plus, 8 months means it'll be a different season, different flowers and all that - I still would ask her though, just to be nice.

KellyBrian2013 · May 2011

I wouldn't even ask. Just do it... you don't need to ask permission to book a venue - a true friend will be excited for you. And once again, different couples = automatically different weddings.

tenofcups4me · May 2011

I wouldn't ask either. You don't need anyone's permission to use a venue. I would think it would be rude to swoop in and plan to use the same venue say a month before without discussion. But 8 months later is not an issue.

Lisa50 · May 2011

It is not a no-no. Go for it! Good luck.

RamonaFlowers · May 2011

I got married at the same venue as one of my friends. Hell, I was in her wedding (That's actually how DH and I first found out about the place). It was incredibly inclusive, the food was amazing and we saw firsthand how awesome she and her husband were treated by the staff. We were on a limited budget (Well, limited for where we live-the 2 closest venues to my house have security deposits that cost what we wound up paying for our entire reception), and wanted to get as much bang for our buck as possible-her venue fit the bill.

At first, we were kind worried about "doing what they did", but we quickly got over it and realized all the things that we'd be doing differently (Colors, the cake, the music, they had an afternoon reception in the summer, we had an evening reception in the winter, etc) and how silly it would be for us to walk away from a perfect venue that thousands of couples have gotten married at just because we happened to know one of those couples.

And no, I never asked my friend if it was cool. We did what was best for us, and it was none of her business.

marinabreeze · May 2011

I agree with most PPs. You're having your wedding 8 months after hers. It's not a big deal and I don't think you need to ask her permission. I could see her being upset if, say, you took her idea and was getting married shortly before her (though I still think she'd need to get over it). But 8 months after? If she gets offended by that , that's just ridiculously unreasonable. Unless you get married on your own property, your venue isn't going to be the thing that makes your wedding special or unique, as people will have been married there before you and be married there after you.

Frogger5 · May 2011

Wouldn't one of your "very good friends" sort of know what's going on with the wedding planning anyway though? It seems to me like if you didn't mention it before you booked it, it's like - you know it's a little shady but if she gets mad you can feel justified because she's being shallow. The fact that you even asked if it's OK means there's a little bit of you that knows there is the potential she might be at least irritated. Just ask her, what's the big deal? It's just a courtesy - we do this all day long, all of our adult lives.

[Deleted User] · June 2011

I am having the same issue. My friend just got married at a location and I just got enaged on Saturday and my hubby to be loves the venue and I do too!! My wedding is going to be in a totally differnt year than hers and will be totally different so I don't know why it should be a problem!!!

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